


In A Manner of My Choosing

by Pyreite



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Afterlife, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angry Lavellan, Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Betrayal, Blood Magic, Canonical Character Death, Dalish Elves, Dragon Age Kink Meme, Eluvians, Elven Spirits, F/F, F/M, Implied Relationships, Implied Sexual Content, Love, M/M, Magic-Users, Magical Artifacts, Mark of Fen'Harel, Not Trespasser DLC Compliant, Possessive Behavior, Post-Dragon Age: Inquisition, Purgatory, Rebellion, Reincarnation, Resurrection, Sad Ending, Solas is Fen'Harel, Spirit Guides, Spirit World, Trespasser DLC, Vallaslin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-25
Updated: 2017-07-21
Packaged: 2018-06-04 10:20:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 25
Words: 40,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6654133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pyreite/pseuds/Pyreite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ellana refuses to allow Solas to cut off her arm after he reveals his true identity as Fen'Harel.</p><p>Written as a fill for this DA:I Kink Meme Prompt: <i>Lavellan meets Solas and doesn't allow him to touch/cut off her hand, preferring to die instead.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Let it End

**Author's Note:**

> Edited with Glossary added to the end of each chapter for Elvish, Qunlat, and Tevene translations.

A flare of emerald light set her arm aflame. Ellana sank to the cracked flagstones with a pained groan. She clutched the gauntleted wrist of her left hand. She watched the silverite-shod fingers curl into claws. Her nerves were afire with agony as if she'd held her hand over an open flame.

“The Mark will eventually kill you. Drawing you here gave me the chance to save you. At least for now”.

The tears prickled at the corners of her eyes. Weeks of whispered endearments, stolen kisses, and heartfelt promises turned to ash. The love of her life regarded her with the cool solemnity he'd always used with their comrades. The façade of civility was another elaborate lie. He meant to destroy the Inquisition, to destroy her, and Thedas without a second thought.

“Keep your mercy”, hissed Ellana. “If I am to die than it will be in a manner of my choosing”.

She gasped as the pain flared anew. She gritted her teeth, refusing to scream, when her arm convulsed. She trembled with each involuntary shudder. Ellana flopped onto her back when the hot sting of discomfort ebbed. She was breathing hard, her chest heaving, as a shadow trickled over her like water.

“Ma vhenan”, pleaded Solas. “You cannot give up or give in”.

Ellana groaned when gentle hands slid beneath the nape of her neck. His fingers were rough and warm as he lifted her head. She sighed in relief, the agony subsiding, when her ear came to rest against silken softness. She realised her head was in his lap when Solas looked down. His eyes were the dreary grey of rain-clouds ready to burst.

“You did”, replied Ellana. “Abelas said my people and I were shadows wearing vallaslin. You said the Thedas of my time was like walking through a world of tranquil. If I believe what you have told me, Solas, than everything I have ever known is a lie. What hope is there for an elven soul crushed by the weight of such horrible truths?”

“Vhenan!”

“With my death”, concluded Ellana. “Your secret will be safe”.

She trembled like a leaf when blood filled her mouth. She coughed, near gagging on her own bile, as the Mark tore her apart. She tensed like a drawn bowstring as her skin cracked like sun-baked earth. Emerald light poured from the fissures. Blood burned away as swiftly as it was shed.

“Nae! Vhenan!” cried Solas. “ _Vhenan_!”

He wept when she whispered a last parting endearment.

“Ar lath ma, Fen'Harel”.

“You always were stubborn”, sobbed Solas. “You could never take the easy way out”.

The tears came thick and fast. He doubled over, nose pressing into her cooling cheek, as Ellana drew her last breath. The Mark pulsed once before extinguishing. Solas knew she was gone when her face and body slackened. The agonised grimace was replaced by sudden cold relief.

The light in her eyes dimmed.

“Ma vhenan!” implored Solas. “Come back!”

He gathered her into his arms.

He rocked her tenderly.

“Ma vhenan!” begged Solas.

He kissed her mouth and tasted the salt of his own unending sorrow.

“I could have saved you. Why did you refuse my help? Why?”

* * *

  **Elvish Translations: Courtesy of the Dragon Age Wiki – Elven Language**

* * *

Ma vhenan – _My heart._

Solas – _Pride._

Abelas – _Sorrow._

Vhenan – _Heart._

Nae – _No._

Ar lath ma, Fen'Harel – _I love you, Dread Wolf._


	2. A Wolf in the Moonlight

Ellana awoke beneath a night-black sky. The stars twinkled like diamonds in the heavens. The clouds were grey ghosts shadowing the moon. The grass swayed like the rippling tides of the sea in the starlight. Ellana felt the wind warm on her face, the scent of spring thick and heady, as she caught the scent of wildflowers.

She looked around herself in confusion. Solas was gone as was the Eluvian. She was alone in a meadow surrounded by thick forest. The branches of the trees were laden with leaves. She saw the silver reflection of eyes in the darkness beneath those trembling boughs.

Something slunk forth, parting the grass, slick as a fish sliding through water.

Ellana caught the hint of a furry ruff, pointed ears, and the flash of jagged teeth. She gasped when she saw two orbs of glowing emerald. The pitch-black pupil at the centre of each grew larger as a cloud obscured the moon. Ellana knew better than to run. Wolves ran down their prey swift as a falcon on-wing.

She was alone and vulnerable.

Her brows furrowed in confusion when she heard a soft woof. She was even more astounded when her wolf wandered into a patch of moonlight. He was long, lean, and tall in the shoulder with a stockier frame than Ellana was used too. Most wolves were slender creatures with large eyes, big ears, and long narrow snouts.

This wolf was heavy-set with paws the size of dinner-plates. His fur, silvered in the moonlight, was black as a raven's wing. A huge triangular ear turned towards Ellana. She tensed when she heard that same welcoming low-pitched bark. She was more startled to see the whip-like whirr of a shaggy black tail slicing through the grass.

When a mabari wagged its tail it was happy.

Ellana doubted the behaviour was translatable across species. She gaped when her wolf shook his great furry black head. His emerald gaze was focused upon her with unnerving intensity. Ellana jumped when something landed on her shoulder. She looked up and found she had company.

The golden whorls of the vallaslin graced her cheeks, chin, temples, and brow. Ellana recognised several parts of the pattern. It was exclusive to the dalish clans originating in the Frostback mountains. This fair flaxen-haired woman was one of her people. Ellana would have asked her name under ordinary circumstances.

When faced with a wolf as big as a horse.

She wasn't sure what to do.

“Do not worry, da'len. We are quite safe”.

Ellana gaped at her unexpected visitor. Her lips pursed to ask a question. She froze when something wet and cold pressed into the swell of her cheek. Her eyes widened when that wetness was accompanied by the slick slurp of a tongue. Ellana glanced out the corner of her eye.

The huge black wolf was licking her face.

It was too much when it tried to slobber in her ear.

“Ew! _Ew_! No! Ick! Tongues don't go inside ears!”

Ellana pushed away the wolf's inquisitive nose. It whined and tried to evade her frantic fumbling hands. She pinched an ear when it stuck its nose in her belly. The beast whimpered and burrowed inwards. Ellana soon found herself with a lapful of contrite wolf.

She scowled when her unidentified elven guest chortled.

“I think he likes you”.

Ellana squealed when a rough wet tongue slid under her chin.

“No I think he loves you”.

“Ew!” cried Ellana. “Make him stop! He's licking me to death!”

“Oh, da'len”, laughed her unknown companion. “One does not tell the spirit of Fen'Harel what to do”.

“What did you say?”

The elven woman smiled. “You heard me, da'len”.

“Who are you?”

The woman regarded Ellana with a kindness and compassion that made her want to cry.

Deshanna Istimaethoriel, the Keeper of Clan Lavellan, had been just as motherly too.

“I am Marethari Talas, a humble Keeper of Clan Sabrae”.

Ellana stared. “You're the Keeper of Mahariel's clan?”

Marethari nodded. “I was”.

“I don't understand”.

Marethari gestured to the darkened landscape all around them.

“I died as you did”.

“Are we in the Fade?”

Marethari sighed. “No, da'len. We are in the night-lands, caught halfway between heaven and earth. This place exists in a perpetual twilight from which there is no escape. Only the dead still clinging to life linger here”.

* * *

**Elvish Translations: Courtesy of the Dragon Age Wiki – Elven Language**

* * *

 Da'len – _Little one._

Solas – _Pride._

Fen'Harel – _The Dread Wolf – The elven god of Rebellion, Betrayal, and Trickery._


	3. Forward or Back?

It felt like hours had passed in the span of minutes. Ellana tried, time and again, to shove the wolf out of her lap. The great beast would whine, ears and tail drooping, and slide under her arm. He snuggled into her like a puppy seeking warmth. His thick black tail lashed the grass when Ellana relented.

"Fenedhis. You can stay there if you stop licking me".

The besotted spirit of Fen'Harel nuzzled her chin.

Ellana was relieved when he didn't try to stick his tongue in her ear again. She may have been dead, but even in the afterlife wolf-drool was slimy. She gave the beast a tentative scratch behind an ear. She was surprised when he accepted her attentions with enthusiasm. He even inclined his head so she could reach just the right spot.

Marethari laughed when his hind-leg thumped the grass.

"You spoil him".

"He won't leave me alone", grumbled Ellana. "If I push him away he whimpers like a puppy and burrows right back in".

Marethari smiled. "You know he loves you".

Ellana glanced from the former dalish Keeper to the wolf in her lap. Emerald eyes bored into her own. She recognised that radiant sheen. Ellana took his head in her hands. She patted the long black snout as she returned its scrutiny.

"I know that light".

"You do", confirmed Marethari.

Ellana trembled when the wolf rubbed his furry cheek against her wrist. She looked from him to her left arm. She turned her hand over exposing her palm to the moonlight. She gasped when she saw a familiar shining emerald mark. Its shape had never been discernible until now.

"It's a wolf's head!" gasped Ellana.

Marethari studied the pointed ears, jagged teeth, and long narrow snout.

The eyes were tiny twin stars of pulsating light.

"You bear the Mark of Fen'Harel", said Marethari. "And now you must choose".

"Choose?" asked Ellana. "I don't understand".

Black lips peeled back from a maw full of jagged teeth. Black ears flattened against the crown of a shaggy lupine head. A black snout wrinkled as the wolf growled. Emerald eyes glowed like hot coals. Ellana wrapped her arms around his neck when he lunged at Marethari.

"No! Leave her alone!"

The wolf ignored her. He snapped and snarled at the dead dalish Keeper. He tried to catch her hand in his jaws. He would have rent her limb from limb if Ellana hadn't intervened. A stern command made the wolf pause.

"Fen'Harel! _Venavis_!"

Marethari smiled when she heard his plaintive whine. She pitied the poor beast as she peered into its sorrowful emerald eyes. The intelligence she saw there was unlike the wolves inside the waking world beyond the Fade. This creature was old, sad, and lonely. He hadn't had companionship for centuries.

"You know you cannot keep her".

The wolf turned its gaze on Ellana. It appealed to her with a piteous whimper. It pleaded without words for something it could not name. A desperate nuzzle under her chin distracted her for several moments. The deliberate flop of its gargantuan body across her lap made Ellana squeal.

"Hey! _Get off_! You're squashing me!"

The spirit of Fen'Harel stayed put despite her frantic shoves.

Marethari laughed.

"I admire your determination, but time grows short. You know she cannot delay her choice. She must go with me or return with you. The longer she tarries here. The more likely she will be caught between life and death".

Ellana stared at the wolf in her arms. He whined at her as if begging for attention. She patted his shaggy black cheek. He leaned into her touch, tongue lolling. His eyes were half-lidded in bliss. His hind-leg thumped the ground.

"Where would he take me?" asked Ellana.

"Back, da'len", answered Marethari.

"Back where?"

"Back from whence you came".

"I don't understand".

Marethari pointed into the distance. The moon was high in the sky, a ball of brightness in a sea of black. The stars twinkled like diamonds in the darkness. Ellana saw it standing upon a hill of crumbled stone. The arc of the Eluvian housed a mirror reflecting a land drenched in sunlight.

* * *

**Elvish Translations: Courtesy of the Dragon Age Wiki – Elven Language**

* * *

Da'len – _Little one._

Solas – _Pride._

Fenedhis _–_ _An elven curse, likely translated to 'wolf crap' or similar._

Fen'Harel – _The Dread Wolf – The elven god of Rebellion, Betrayal, and Trickery._

Venavis _– Stop._

Eluvian _– Seeing glass – Used as a method of transport between places, realms, and worlds by the ancient elves._


	4. For Love

The wolf was more cooperative than Ellana expected. She walked beside him through the swaying grass. He barked when she wandered too far from his side. He tugged on her belt with his teeth when she hesitated. He was content as long as she didn't veer off course.

The Eluvian was his goal.

Marethari walked with them.

Ellana hadn't made her choice.

They arrived at the foot of the mound of crumbled stone. The Eluvian rose in a graceful arc high above them. It was gigantic. Ellana had seen smaller mirrors, but never something so large or grand. Two statues stood sentry on either side.

The first resembled a howling wolf. Its granite head was tipped back to reveal a broad throat of carved fur. Its maw was open as it cried in mournful silence. It's sister-statue was just as tall and had a pair of folded wings. Ellana saw scales instead of fur and a horned head bowed in humility upon a sinuous neck.

“It's you”, murmured Ellana. “And Mythal”.

The spirit of Fen'Harel barked in affirmation. He considered the statue of Fen'Harel immortalised in stone. He whined, ears pricking in alertness, when he heard someone sobbing. He crept forward, picking a path through the rubble, until he stood before the Eluvian. His shaggy head turned and he looked back at Ellana.

He begged with a guttural whimper.

“You lied to me”, she told him. “You want to destroy everything I have ever loved”.

The wolf snapped his jaws and growled in protest.

Ellana shook her head. She couldn't bear the judgement in those emerald eyes. He wanted more than she was willing to give. She glanced at her companion. She pleaded for guidance.

“You said I had to make a choice”.

Marethari nodded and held out her hand.

A warm spring wind blew inland.

The grass swayed beneath the moon. Ellana smelt the sweetness of wildflowers in bloom. She heard the voices of loved ones' long past rise in song. The lullaby was an old dalish melody. Ellana knew it by heart.

“I can hear my Mamae and my Papae singing”.

“They are calling you home”, said Marethari. “They await you beyond this place with the rest of your family. If you come with me now, da'len. I will take you to them. The way is not far, but it is impossible to find alone”.

“If I go with you. Can I come back here?”

Marethari shook her head.

“Not as you are now, da'len. Every elven spirit in existence can only live one life. If you leave with me. The next time you are here. You will be a new person, with a new face, and a new name. The choice to go forward or back will be the same”.

“What should I do?”

“You must choose. Neither choice is right or wrong. What matters is whether or not you are ready to move onward. To begin anew. If you are not than you must go back”.

Marethari waited ever-patient. She sighed when the spirit of Fen'Harel howled in protest. His mournful wail filled the meadow. He drowned out the voices of Ellana's parents. The wind subsided and Ellana no longer heard the soothing song from her childhood.

“It is time”.

Ellana glanced between Marethari and the Eluvian. The spirit of Fen'Harel gazed back at her. He whined and turned towards the mirror. It was a window into another world. Ellana heard that same heartbroken sobbing.

The voice was deep, husky, and recognisable.

“It's Solas. He's crying for me”.

“You died, da'len”, said Marethari.

Ellana regarded the dalish Keeper. Her eyes were watery. She wept when Solas called her name. The tears spilled down her cheeks. Ellana trembled when Marethari cupped her chin.

The moisture was wiped away with the deft stroke of a calloused thumb.

“You still love him despite all he has done”.

Ellana nodded.

Marethari smiled.

“You are so like my Sarel. He only saw the best in people. Loving Fen'Harel will not be easy, da'len. He is old and set in his ways. You will have to teach him how to trust again”.

“I cannot leave him”, sobbed Ellana.

“I know”.

Marethari kissed her brow in farewell. She took Ellana by the shoulders and turned her towards the future. She gestured to the waiting wolf atop the hill of broken stone. Marethari gave her a gentle push. Ellana stumbled when the cracked stones rolled underfoot.

“To reach him”, urged Marethari. “You must climb”.

The going was hard. The stones slipped and Ellana skidded. She scraped her knees, bruised her shins, and still got back to her feet. Her wolf barked in encouragement. His tail lashed back and forth in a happy wag when she continued to ascend.

Her determination amazed Marethari.

She was reminded of Mahariel when Ellana reached the summit.

The girl had that same fearless fortitude.

* * *

  **Elvish Translations: Courtesy of the Dragon Age Wiki – Elven Language**

* * *

Da'len – _Little one._

Solas – _Pride._

Mamae _–_ _Mother._

Papae – _Father._

Mythal _– The All Mother of the Elven pantheon._

Eluvian _– Seeing glass – Used as a method of transport between places, realms, and worlds by the ancient elves._


	5. Between Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains citrus with implied lemonade. Coarse language and light voyeurism. Discretion is advised.

The spirit of Fen'Harel, in the guise of a wolf, greeted Ellana with an ecstatic woof. He curled into her side when she reached the Eluvian. He leaned against her when she gazed into its shimmering surface. Ellana gasped when she saw Solas cradling her corpse.

He wept into her hair and kissed her face over and over again.

Ellana heard him call with the desperation of a drowning man.

“ _Vhenan_! _Come back_ _to me_!”

Her wolf whined and gave her an expectant look.

“You're mad”, accused Ellana. “I'm dead. If I walk through this Eluvian I'll still be dead when I reach the other side. It's not like I'll just wake up and start breathing again. Maybe this isn't such a good idea after all”.

She turned away for a moment. She looked down the hill of rubble to Marethari. Ellana tried to take a single step towards her. The wolf reacted with a snarl. She was indignant when a mouth full of jagged teeth latched onto her belt.

“Fenedhis lasa! _You sneak_! Let go of me! _Marethari, wait_! I've changed my mind!”

Marethari laughed when Ellana was dragged through the Eluvian arse first.

“ _Marethari_!”

The stream of dalish curses ended when Ellana disappeared.

“Dareth shiral, da'len”, said Marethari. “Until we meet again”.

* * *

 Solas heard the familiar glass-like tinkle. He glanced at the Eluvian standing upon a mound of rubble. Its gleaming surface rippled like water. He frowned when nothing emerged from the mirror. He sensed something amiss.

“What trickery is this?”

Solas tensed when something stroked his cheek. He felt the gentle pressure of calloused fingers upon his skin. His breath caught in his throat when a thumb caressed his lower-lip. He spied a silverite gauntlet and a leather glove in a heap on the ground. Solas would have retrieved them if someone hadn't demanded his full attention.

He studied her pale face, tired eyes, and open panting mouth. Her skin, once torn and bloody, bore a new unfamiliar pattern. It was a vallaslin unlike any Solas had ever seen. It graced her cheeks, the bridge of her nose, the planes of her temples, and the broad curve of her forehead. It was a mark of ownership, of belonging, and it should have outraged him.

It didn't.

Solas brushed aside her fringe to expose an odd shape. He traced the outline with the pad of his thumb. It had pride of place in the centre of her brow. Solas recognised the twining lines and sharp barb-like prongs. He saw a wolf's pointed ears, shaggy cheeks, long narrow snout, and large hollow eyes. The realisation made his stomach churn with anxiety.

“You bear the Mark of Fen'Harel. How did you come by this?”

Ellana rolled her eyes. She was sore, weary, and infuriated by his lack of joy at her return. She had been dragged back to the waking world from the elven equivalent of purgatory. Solas could show a little damned gratitude. Ellana slapped his hands and rolled onto her side.

The buckles of her overcoat dug into her ribs. She was glad she hadn't donned the fortune in full-plate armour Cassandra had favoured. She was a rogue. She used a bow, blades, and arrows to defend herself. Speed and dexterity were more important for an archer than a warrior wielding a sword and shield.

“Fenedhis lasa, Solas”, grumbled Ellana. “I just died for the man I loved and came back to life to please him. You could pretend to be delighted to see me. Maybe I should have gone with Marethari. Now that I think about it, sacrificing an eternity of happiness with my family, was a terrible idea”.

She laid her hands on the ground. She tried to shift her weight onto her splayed fingers. She groaned in frustration when Solas wrapped his arms around her waist. She smacked the wrists crossing over her belly. Solas dragged her back until she was seated between his thighs.

“Ma vhenan!”

“Let go of me!”

“Vhenan!”

“I said let go! I have to return to Dorian, Bull, and Sera! And then we have to attend the Exalted Council! _Solas_! _What are you doing_?”

Ellana growled when he kissed her tattooed cheek. The skin lacerated by the Mark of Fen'Harel had healed. The mystery tempted and tantalised him. Ellana squealed when he yanked on the buckles of her armour. She tried to catch the clever fingers unfastening the belt carrying her myriad pouches.

Ellana was indignant when he cast it aside.

“I need that!”

“Nae”.

He unhooked the studs of her corset. It came away with a firm tug leaving Ellana in the long tails of her overcoat. She gasped when he dug under her soft and silky undershirt. He found the band of her breeches. He pulled on the knot holding the hose tight to her belly.

“You're mad!”

“Ar nuvenin ma”.

Ellana trapped the hand seeking to disrobe her. She gaped at him in disbelief. She saw the desperation in his expression. He leaned inwards to capture her mouth in a bruising kiss. Ellana turned away.

Solas kissed her cheek again.

“ _Vhenan_!”

“Stop growling at me!” snapped Ellana. “You had your chance! You could have bedded me, but you abandoned me instead! You broke my heart, Solas! You are not wriggling your way inside my small-clothes for a swift round of guilt-sex!”

Solas scowled.

He was offended by her assumption.

“I do not make love swiftly”.

“Says you”, taunted Ellana. “It's not like I've had the privilege of the experience”.

His grey eyes glinted at her challenge. “I will show you otherwise”.

Ellana glared at him. “Not today you _Mmmph_!” She moaned when he kissed her long and slow and sweet. The man, she realised, really knew how to use his tongue. Her resistance melted away until she was ready and raring to help him out of his clothes and armour.

* * *

 Sera bolted through the Eluvian. She was tired of waiting. It had been over an hour since Ellana had gone off on her own. Sera hated that weird tinkly sound and the slimy feeling against her skin. She could stomach the Eluvian's weird elfy magic for Ellana.

“Finally!”

Sera burst into a courtyard full of Qunari frozen in stone.

“Oi! Ya, pair of tits!” she cried. “Come look at this!”

Dorian and the Iron Bull were hot on her heels.

“Well I guess we know what happened to the Viddasala's henchmen”.

Bull grimaced. “Magic”.

“Undoubtedly”, confirmed Dorian. “But it's more powerful than anything I've ever seen before. They're petrified. This isn't any ordinary magic, Bull. It's old and dangerous”.

Sera rolled her eyes. “We can see that for ourselves. Genius”.

Bull glowered. “Hey. Be nice”.

Sera stuck her tongue out. She blew him a wet raspberry.

“Oh, and that's so very mature”, complained Dorian.

“Bite me”.

“No thank you”.

Sera wove her way through the sea of Qunari statues. She ignored Bull's command to stay put. “Shut up and come on!” urged Sera. “We've got to find Inky before she gets herself killed!” She bolted up the stairs that led into the meadow beyond.

Sera took two steps forward. She tripped on the edge of a cracked flagstone. She went down in a tangle of limbs and curses. She stubbed her toes, grazed her knees, and came up swearing blue-murder. Sera froze when she saw two heaving and sweaty elven bodies.

She blushed to the tips of her pointed ears.

“We think she's dead or worse. And where do I find her? Canoodling with Mr. Elfyness himself. I can't believe she's shagging that bald bastard after everything he did. This is the worst betrayal ever”.

Sera swore when she heard Bull and Dorian bounding up the stone stairway.

“Oh, shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! _Shit_!”

“Sera! I told you to be careful!” rumbled the Iron Bull.

“You shouldn't run off on your own!” seconded Dorian. “You could have gotten yourself into a world of trouble! And then we'd have to rescue you!”

Sera whirled and frantically flapped her hands at them.

“Shut it you, tits!”

“Sera!” growled Bull.

“What are you squawking about?” barked Dorian.

“ _Just turn_ _a_ _round_!”

“No”, said Bull with firm finality.

Dorian jagged a thumb at his lover. “What he said”.

Sera almost tore her hair out. “ _Th_ _en shut up_!”

“Why should we?” demanded Bull.

Dorian heard Ellana's throaty moans. He did a double-take when he saw her writhing body. She wasn't alone in her throes of ecstasy. She had company of the male kind. And a series of new, intricate, and interesting tattoos that went all the way down to her toes.

Dorian grinned. “Well now. So that's where Ellana ran off too. We were worried for nothing. I think she's in very good hands don't you?”

The Iron Bull chuckled. “I suppose we can interrogate Solas later. Oh! Look! He does have impressive reach! I still think Ellana is way more flexible”.

“You would”.

Bull laughed. “Of course I would”. He waggled his eyebrows. He was amused when Dorian blushed. His Kadan was entirely too easily flustered.

“Stop watching them!” griped Sera.

Dorian shrugged.

Bull snorted.

“Hey, Sera”.

“Yeah?”

“You still got Varric's cards?”

“Of course!”

Dorian smirked. “Good. I could do with a game of Wicked Grace to pass the time”.

Sera giggled. “Yeah. It's not everyday our illustrious leader gets her brains shagged out of her head”.

“Illustrious. Now that's a big word”, teased Bull. “Are you getting all cultured and hoity-toity on me?”

Sera's nose wrinkled in disdain. “Shut it, you”.

“Hurry up and deal us in”.

“Yeah, yeah”.

“Children. Please. Do try to be civil”, quipped Dorian.

“You keep that Vintish good-manner's crap to yourself”.

Dorian laid a hand over his heart. “You wound me, amatus”.

Sera groaned. “Oi! You stop making those lovey-dovey eyes at him! We're playing normal Wicked Grace not Sexy-Naked Wicked Grace! Just 'cause Ellana has her snuggle-bunny and you have yours doesn't make it fair on me! My Widdle is back in Skyhold!”

* * *

  **Elvish Translations: Courtesy of the Dragon Age Wiki – Elven Language**

* * *

Vhenan – _Heart._

Solas – _Pride._

Fenedhis lasa _–_ _An elven curse, likely translated into 'grant or give me wolf crap' or similar._

Dareth shiral _– Safe journey – A Dalish farewell._

Da'len _–_ _Little one._

Ma vhenan _– My heart._

Nae _– No._

Ar nuvenin ma _– I desire you._

Fen'Harel – _The Dread Wolf – The elven god of Rebellion, Betrayal, and Trickery._

Eluvian _– Seeing glass – Used as a method of transport between places, realms, and worlds by the ancient elves._


	6. The Vallaslin of Fen'Harel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains coarse language and more slight voyeurism. Discretion is advised.

“They do not mind”.

“I mind”.

Ellana smacked the hand trying to cop a feel. She was naked, covered in a thin strip of fur, and reeked of sweat and sex. Her friends had seen more of her than she'd wanted them too. She was relieved they were willing to be courteous. No one was watching her bask in the afterglow, but Ellana knew they'd gotten an eyeful of her assets.

She had heard the Iron Bull's comments.

“Vhenan”, teased Solas. “You are being overly self-conscious”.

“Stop touching me!”

Solas chuckled. “Vhenan. I doubt there is an inch or two of you I have not licked, kissed, or caressed in my efforts to deflower you. My vallaslin covers you from head to toe. I could not have been more thorough physically or magically”.

Ellana blushed.

“You said the vallaslin of the Evanuris were slave-markings”.

“They were and still are”.

Ellana frowned when he traced the line flowing down the bridge of her nose. It split her upper and lower-lip in two. The barbed prongs on either side resembled fangs. The jagged teeth continued to the corners of her mouth before splitting again. A wolf's shaggy cheeks followed the swell of her own to the slopes of her temples.

The lines intertwined to form a stylised half-circle around each eye. A final interlocking spiral, with more barbed prongs, framed the Mark of Fen'Harel. Solas recognised the pointed ears, long narrow snout, and maw full of jagged teeth. The symbol was archaic, from before the days of Arlathan, but still had the power to steal his breath away. Solas was humbled by the idea that a childhood scribble could still have significance.

He smiled when Ellana asked the inevitable.

“What about your vallaslin?”

“I did not enslave my people”.

“You didn't answer my question”.

“Solas”, called the Iron Bull. “Stop being an ass”.

“Yeah”, seconded Sera. “Ellana deserves a straight answer after all the shit you've put her through”.

“She most certainly does”, agreed Dorian. “Elven intrigues get old after a few thousand years. Do be a good sport and tell the Inquisitor what she wants to know”.

Ellana heard the shuffling of their cards. They were playing a tenth round of Wicked Grace. Their backs were turned, but they were still eavesdropping. Ellana rolled her eyes when Sera placed another bet. Her fellow rogue added another pebble to the pile serving as their pot.

“I'll see your bet and raise you another rock 'cause I think Solas will make up a shitty excuse and run out on her again”.

Bull nodded his great horned head. “Yup. Force of habit. Guys that can't commit always run off like a little bitch with their tails tucked between their legs. Gives us legit men in rewarding long-term relationships a bad name”.

Dorian snorted. “We've only been together for six months, amatus”.

“Hey. One night stands were my usual before I met you”, admitted Bull. “Then I fell in love. And now I'm in for the long haul. Besides you're pretty loveable for a Vint”.

“Of course I am”, seconded Dorian.

“Yeah you are”, agreed Sera. “For a magister. It's still weird that you have a fetish for iron collars, leather crops, and silk undies. Don't lie, Sparkler. I've heard the stories about you and Bull going around Skyhold”.

Ellana rolled her eyes when Sera discussed Dorian's love-life. The explicit detail made her ears burn. She cleared her throat with a hoarse cough. Solas chuckled. He was more amused than offended when the conversation died down.

He still heard their excited whispering.

“Bull's right”, insisted Ellana. “You owe me an explanation”.

“You're welcome, Boss”.

“Thank you”.

Ellana gave Solas an expectant look.

He smiled with a flash of white teeth. “What about the Exalted Council?”

Ellana opened her mouth to reply.

“They can wait”, declared Dorian. “This is more important”.

“Too right it is”, said Sera. “Two bloody years is too long a time to be worrying about someone. She thought you were in a heap of trouble and worse for months after you ran off. It was awful having to hear her whinge all the time. All I heard was Solas this and Solas that and Solas, Solas, Solas”.

“I wasn't that bad!” complained Ellana.

Bull laughed. “Oh yes you were. You couldn't take two steps, for twenty four months after he left, without your ears drooping. It was hard to watch, Boss. You were like a sad little dog who'd lost her favourite bone”.

Ellana averted her eyes when Solas smirked.

“You missed me”.

“No I didn't”.

“She's lying”, said Sera.

“Vhenan”, teased Solas. “You cannot win this battle of wit and will”.

Ellana grimaced.

She didn't like being on the receiving end of Sera's taunts.

“Fine. I did miss you”.

“Told you so”, avowed Sera.

* * *

  **Elvish** **and Tevene** **Translations: Courtesy of the Dragon Age Wiki – Elven Language**

* * *

Vhenan – _Heart._

Vallaslin – _Blood writing. A special dye used to tattoo the patterns, sigils, and so forth of various member_ _s_ _of_ _the elven pantheon onto the face. Used by the Dalish elves._

Fen'Harel – _The Dread Wolf – The elven god of Rebellion, Betrayal, and Trickery._

Arlathan _–_ _This place of love – The capital city of ancient Elvhenan._

Solas _– Pride._

Amatus _– A term of endearment used for one's spouse or lover. Likely means 'Beloved'._


	7. Mine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains coarse language and crude references to bits of elven anatomy. Discretion is advised.

“You said that ancient elven slaves wore vallaslin”, declared Ellana. “I bear the Mark of Fen'Harel. Your mark. It is vallaslin too. If I am not a slave than what am I?”

Solas kissed her shoulder as he helped her dress. The emerald lines etched onto her skin were unlike the vallaslin of the elven pantheon. Most adorned the face, but some were tattooed on the throat, shoulders, and spine. The vallaslin of Fen'Harel lacked such modesty. It flowed over Ellana's chest, back, arms and legs, and hands and feet to the tips of her toes and fingers.

Any elf who saw her vallaslin would know to whom she belonged.

Solas was comfortable with the idea.

“My consort”.

“What?”

“You heard me, vhenan”.

Ellana donned her small clothes. They were moist but salvageable. Her breast-band was in worse condition. It was a tattered mess thanks to her lover's impatience. Solas had been determined to stake his claim.

“You ended our relationship two years ago”, she reminded him. “You walked away from me. As far as I'm concerned. Today was a simple goodbye. We've had our fun”.

Solas slid an arm around her waist. He gripped her hip and stepped forward until the small of her back nestled against his belly. He towered over her by a half-a-head in height in and out of his armour. He did not intimidate Ellana. She held her head high as she pulled on her stained undershirt.

“What do you think you're doing?”

“You returned to me”.

“I did”, confirmed Ellana. “Now I have to leave. Dareth shiral, Solas. If you don't mind. I have an Exalted Council to attend”.

Solas's grasp tightened. He buried his face in the nape of her neck and inhaled deeply. Her hair smelt of wild-flowers. He frowned in confusion. There were no flowers in their meadow, only green grass, and patches of broad-leaved weeds.

“Nae”.

Ellana tugged on his wrist. “Solas. I have to go”.

“You are not going back there”.

Ellana tried to pull away from him. Solas held her tight. She struggled as he laced an arm around her shoulders. His eyes glowed a fiery grey-blue when a shadow loomed over them. He looked beyond his paramour to the grey-skinned giant blotting out the sun.

“You can't keep her against her will”, rumbled the Iron Bull. “Sex is one thing, but a relationship is something else entirely”.

“She is mine”, growled Solas. “You will not take her without a fight”.

Dorian plucked Ellana's breeches off the ground. He dusted them off and straightened the rumpled hose. He ignored the irate elven apostate. He approached Ellana with a smile and handed over her pants. He complimented Solas with a waggle of his eyebrows.

“You have a fabulous arse and fantastic legs”.

Bull scowled.

“Stop complimenting the man”.

“You were looking too, Bull”.

Sera rolled her eyes.

“Andraste's flaming butt-cheeks. Solas, if you're going to argue with Bull, at least do it when you've got your smalls on. Your dangly bits are distracting. Ellana and these idiots don't mind, but I do. You don't have enough tits on your chest to interest me”.

She gave Ellana's breast-band a dirty look.

“ _Sera_!”

She snickered when Ellana hastily covered her chest.

“You have a great pair of boobs for an elf”.

“Maker's breath!” cursed Ellana. “Will you please turn around!” She glared at the Iron Bull and Dorian. “That goes for you two as well! I will not have an audience while I'm getting dressed!”

Sera pouted.

Bull chuckled.

Dorian give her a courteous Vintish bow.

“At once, madam”.

“ _Dorian_!”

He had the cheek to wink.

“I thought a bit of sex might loosen you up, darling. Maybe you need another demonstration of your dear Solas's affections. I'd offer to help, of course, as any gentleman would. Alas I'm not inclined towards bedding nubile elven ladies. I prefer my bedmates, big, manly, and in possession of an impressive rack of horns”.

“You know it”, seconded the Iron Bull. “We Tal Vashoth are just that damned sexy”.

Dorian smirked and turned his back on her in a flourish of white silk.

Ellana groaned. “I knew I should have left you lot in Val Royeaux”.

Sera giggled as she turned away. “Fat chance of that. We're your friends, Inky, and you're stuck with us for life”.

The Iron Bull followed suit only after Dorian elbowed him in the side.

“Give her some privacy, amatus”.

“Fine”, grumbled Bull. “But just so we're clear. I'm not into elves. They're too small and fragile. I'd break one in half if I was too rough”.

Dorian snorted. “You are such a liar”.

Bull shrugged. “Hey. I was Ben-Hassrath remember? Lying is part of the job. You're just mad that I'm better at it than you”.

“I am not”.

Bull grinned. “Yes you are”.

“I am not!”

“Now who's lying?”

“ _Bull_!” hissed Ellana.

“Sorry, Boss. I'm turning around now. See? There we go. Oh and Sera's right. You have great tits”.

Solas laughed into Ellana's shoulder. He had missed this easy-going banter in his days away from the Inquisition. He was glad that his beloved had such good friends. They were showing more patience and restraint than he would have thought them capable of. Sera, Dorian, and Bull had taken wonderful care of his consort in his absence.

He was glad for with this unforeseen change.

He didn't have to be alone anymore.

“Let us dress, ma vhenan. And then we will discuss what to do”.

Ellana was annoyed by his presumption.

“I am going back”.

“We shall see”, countered Solas.

“This isn't up for negotiation!” snapped Ellana. “Bedding me does not give you the right to decide what I will and won't do! We're not bonded, Solas! You're not my husband! I will do what I want whether you like it or not!”

Solas frowned. “You forget, vhenan. You wear my vallaslin. My agents will welcome you. The Qunari spies will not”.

Ellana grimaced. “It doesn't matter!”

“You will be in very real danger”, insisted Solas.

“You never cared before!”

Solas cupped her chin and turned her face towards him. He peered into her eyes. He smiled when she glowered. She looked so fierce under the vallaslin of Fen'Harel. The twisting emerald lines suited her defiant spirit.

“I was a fool”, admitted Solas. “Now my eyes are open. You are mine, vhenan. I will break the world thrice more before I lose you again. Unlike the Evanuris, I do not make the same mistakes twice”.

Ellana was unamused when he kissed her.

“This argument isn't over”.

“Oh”, agreed Solas. “I know”.

“You are an arrogant ass!”

Solas laughed. “Did you just figure that out now?”

Ellana refused to dignify his question with an answer.

* * *

  **Elvish,** **Tevene, Qunlat** **Translations: Courtesy of the Dragon Age Wiki**

* * *

Vhenan – _Heart._

Solas – _Pride._

Dareth shiral _– Safe journey – A Dalish farewell._

Da'len _–_ _Little one._

Ma vhenan _– My heart._

Nae _– No._

Fen'Harel – _The Dread Wolf – The elven god of Rebellion, Betrayal, and Trickery._

Evanuris _–_ _The mage leaders of the elves before the Fall of Arlathan. Banished by Fen'Harel._

Tal Vashoth _–_ _True g_ _rey_ _o_ _ne_ _s_ _– Those that turn away from the Qun._

Ben Hassrath _– The faction that police the Qunari._

Amatus _– A term of endearment used for one's spouse or lover. Likely means 'Beloved'._


	8. Stable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains coarse language. Discretion is advised.

Ellana cinched her belt. She ignored Solas as she checked the ties on her pouches. She was relieved she hadn't lost any of her lockpicks and various other tools. He had been rough with her possessions during the ceremonial disrobing before sex. Her love for him came second to her prized set of custom hand-crafted tools.

A rogue was only half a thief without the proper assortment of lockpicks.

“Good. I didn't lose anything”.

Solas tightened the buckles of his breastplate.

“I swear, vhenan”, he complained. “You love your tools more than you love me”.

“Of course I do”.

He glared at her belt with its myriad pouches, pockets, and hidden things.

“It's not like I can stick your big bald head in a lock and pick it”.

Solas was annoyed by Ellana's sassiness. She had a fierce spirit, but rarely was she impudent. He frowned when she rolled her eyes. Her exasperation spoke volumes about the nature of their relationship. A few hours of intimacy had not guaranteed him an equal footing in her life.

She had more respect for her friends.

“You are angry with me”.

Ellana's nose wrinkled in disdain.

“Did you just figure that out now?”

Solas didn't like the way she repeated his own statement. He would have argued the point if Ellana hadn't held up a stiff forefinger. Her stern expression gave him pause. Solas recognised the universal sign for silence. He held his tongue.

Ellana reminded him of his misdeeds.

“You lied to me, used me, and abandoned me. For the past two years I didn't know if you were dead or alive. After months of thinking the worst, you pop up in Val Royeaux, and I find you trying to thwart a Qunari invasion. I know you're not some weird hedge-mage hobo Cassandra found under a rock”.

Ellana gestured to him with a flick of her fingers.

“You're Fen'Harel – The Dread Wolf of dalish legend. The Lord of Tricksters, the Bringer of Nightmares, the Great Wolf and so on. I guess they forgot you were the King of Liars and the Teller of Half-Truths. Maybe you should change your name to Harellan. It would fit you better considering all the bullshit you've spouted”.

Sera choked on her own spit. She doubled-over gagging when the Iron Bull smacked her between the shoulder-blades. She staggered and coughed until she'd caught her breath. She had travelled through the Eluvians too. She had seen the frescoes and mosaics immortalising an elven man cloaked in a wolf's pelt.

She knew what Ellana did.

Sera also understood enough of the elven tongue to know what she'd said.

“What's a Harrylong?” asked the Iron Bull.

“I think she said Herellorn”, answered Dorian.

“She called him a Harellan”, croaked Sera.

“Right”, declared Bull. “I'm guessing that it means something bad”.

Solas gave Ellana a hard look. He had been called many terrible things in his long life. It hurt to hear his beloved utter the same lies. He could accept her anger, but not her ignorance. The Dalish had gotten too many things wrong.

“I am a liar and a trickster”, admitted Solas. “But I am not a traitor”.

“Yup”, concluded the Iron Bull. “It was bad”.

“Very bad”, seconded Dorian.

“Well, shit”, cursed Sera. “She's scowling and glowing at the same time. She only looks that mad when she wants to kill someone. My bet is on the bald arsehole with a gob bigger than his brain. 'Cause only an idiot would tell that big a lie to the woman who loves him”.

“Sera”, groaned Solas. “I can hear you”.

“Well it's about bloody time you daft, tit”.

Sera flapped her hand at Ellana.

“Don't you go killing him yet. Only he can fix your hand remember? It was all glowy and boomy and going bang-bang a couple of hours ago. Made a right mess of those Sarebossy things with all the magical hurricane sucky-stuff. I'll be picking Qunari guts out of my hair for weeks”.

“Sera!” groaned the Iron Bull.

“Shut it!” she cried. “You're Tal Vashoth now!”

“I know”, replied Bull. “But it still hurts”.

“Didn't stop you from picking 'em off like flies”.

“Sera!” reproved Dorian. “ _That_ ' _s enough_!”

Sera pouted. “I'm sorry, Bull”. She wrung her hands and shuffled her feet. “I'm just worried about Inky. I didn't mean to take my temper out on you”.

Bull sighed. “It's all right”.

“No it's not!”, barked Dorian.

“Kadan!”

Dorian stuck his nose in the air.

“I am not forgiving her for treating you badly”.

“I said I was sorry!” wheedled Sera.

Ellana groaned in annoyance. “Wonderful. Now you've pissed everyone off. Nice work, Solas. You've done it again”.

The Dread Wolf rolled his eyes. “This was not my doing”.

“Yes it was”.

“It was not”.

“Liar”.

“Vhenan!”

Ellana glowered when he approached. She snatched her hand back when he tried to touch her. She side-stepped and he followed. She was furious when he grabbed the flowing tail of her overcoat. She was caught, hook, line, and sinker when he reeled her in like a fish.

“Garas ma!”

“Let go of me!”

“Vhenan!” scolded Solas. “Stop acting like a child!”

Ellana was enraged by the insult. She whirled on the balls of her feet. She took Solas by surprise when she grasped his gauntleted wrist. She peeled his fingers away, one at a time, from the tail of her overcoat. She pushed him back with a hard shove.

“Don't”.

“Vhenan”.

Ellana jabbed a finger under his nose. “You're not my husband”.

“I am your lover”, countered Solas.

“You won't bed me again”.

“We shall see”.

Ellana offered him her left-hand. She ignored his surprised expression. It was a small and necessary concession. Only Solas understood the magic of the Anchor. Ellana was irritated when his gauntleted fingers slid over her own with practised ease.

Even with his hands encased in steel, the man was undeniably gentle.

“This is impossible!” gasped Solas.

“What is it?” demanded Ellana.

“Your mark is stable”.

Ellana stared at him.

“Stable?”

“Yes”, confirmed Solas. “The magic of the Orb of Fen'Harel is no longer killing you”.

* * *

  **Elvish** **and Qunlat** **Translations: Courtesy of the Dragon Age Wiki – Elven Language**

* * *

Vhenan – _Heart._

Fen'Harel – _The Dread Wolf – The elven god of Rebellion, Betrayal, and Trickery._

Solas _– Pride._

Harellan – _Trickster, traitor to one's kin._

Garas ma _– Come to me._

Kadan _– Where the heart lies – Used by Qunari for someone they care about._


	9. Complications

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains coarse language. Discretion is advised.

“So, she'll be all right then?”

Sera bit her lip when Solas stared at Ellana. The flabbergasted look on his face made her laugh. She had never ever seen His Elfyness look so bewildered. His eyes were wide, his mouth agape, and his black brows and risen high into the bald pate of his forehead.

His astonishment made Sera giggle.

“Yes. She will be fine”, confirmed Solas.

“Thank the Maker”, praised Sera. “He heard my prayers after all”.

“You prayed for Ellana?” asked the Iron Bull.

“I know, amatus”, said Dorian. “I'm surprised she's religious too”.

Sera rolled her eyes. “Oh, hardy-har-har”.

Her laughter died when Ellana tried to withdraw her hand. Solas's gauntleted fingers locked around her wrist. Sera gawked when Ellana jostled his arm. Solas refused to release her. An abrupt command made him shake his head.

“Let go of me!”

“I cannot do that”.

Ellana gaped at her lover. His grey eyes glinted like shards of ice. His expression was stern. His feet, shod in gilded-steel greaves, were planted firmly on the ground. He was ready for a fight.

“I must insist that you stay with me, vhenan”.

Ellana tensed when she heard the sound of steel sliding from a scabbard. The twang of a bowstring told her that Sera had taken an arrow from her quiver. The thud of a mage's staff and the crackle of lightning could only be Dorian readying a spell. The Iron Bull drew a gargantuan silverite great-sword over his burly shoulder. Ellana's friends came to her defence.

“The fun and games are over”, declared Bull. “Step away from her, Solas”.

“I will not. It is imperative that Ellana remains with me”.

“She has to come with us!” cried Sera. “She has to attend the Exalted Council!”

Dorian frowned. He didn't like this unexpected turn of events. They had been comrades once, even friends, or so he'd thought. He had hoped their reunion would give Ellana the closure she needed. The revelation of Solas being an ancient elven rebel and god had complicated matters.

Dorian recognised the danger.

“Amatus. It would be unwise to engage him. If Solas is responsible for what happened to the Viddasala and her henchmen. We don't stand a chance. That kind of magic is beyond anything I can counter”.

Solas held firm when Ellana struggled.

“You should listen to him”.

“Or what?” challenged the Iron Bull. “You'll turn us into garden statues?”

“If I must”, affirmed Solas. “Although I would prefer to avoid a confrontation”.

“Fat chance of that”, grumbled Bull. “This is your last warning, Solas. Step away from my Boss, or I'll lop your head off”.

“Amatus!” hissed Dorian. “Now is not the time to flex your muscles!”

“I'm not scared of that bald bastard”.

Sera bit her lip. She gave Solas an imploring look. She wasn't fond of him, but she didn't want to fight him either. She'd seen how skilled he was with ice and fire spells. If he could turn living people to stone than he was out of their league.

“Don't do this”, she pleaded. “You're one of us. You're part of the Inquisition”.

“I was”, corrected Solas. “Once”.

“Solas!” called Sera. “ _Please!_ Just let Inky go!”

The Dread Wolf's eyes shone a frigid grey-blue.

His voice was icy and his demand absolute.

“Leave”.

Ellana glanced at the Iron Bull. She saw the determination in his grey face. His pale eye gleamed under a heavy black eyebrow. His mouth was a thin grim line. The proud jut of his chin and the stubborn set of his jaw showed his defiance.

“Kadan”, he instructed. “Take Sera and go”.

Dorian couldn't believe what he'd heard.

“ _W_ _hat_?”

“Things are about to get messy”, advised Bull. “I want you and Sera to be safe”.

“I'm not going anywhere!”

“Dorian!” barked Bull. “Now is not a good time to argue!”

“Vishante kaffas! _I_ _am not_ _leaving you_!”

Bull's lip curled. He didn't like his lover's obstinacy. Sometimes Dorian was too clingy. The man needed a swift kick in the arse. Bull knew he'd never act on the impulse without his Kadan's _express_ permission.

“You're one stubborn little shit”.

“Of course I am”, concluded Dorian. “It's why you love me”.

“Yup”, affirmed Bull. “Can't fault you there”.

Sera stared at the Eluvian beyond Solas. The arc of the mirror rose high above his head. Its surface rippled like water. Sera took a voluntary step backward when a massive black paw emerged from the mirror. She took another step when a glistening nose on the end of a long and narrow black snout soon followed.

“ _Maker_ ' _s balls_!”

Ellana ceased to writhe in Solas's grasp. Her skin tingled as the lines of her vallaslin flared like the flames of a bonfire. Wisps of emerald mist coalesced around the fingers of her left-hand. The vallaslin of Fen'Harel, upon her bare skin, shone with an eldritch light. Ellana sighed when she and Solas were plunged into shadow.

“Ma vhenan!” cried her lover. “What have you done?”

Ellana gritted her teeth and glanced over her shoulder. She saw Solas's ashen face. He was startled by the shaggy spectre looming over them. The gargantuan beast was covered in fur blacker than a raven's wing. Ellana was reminded of a spider when she saw its baleful glaring red eyes.

“I wondered if you'd follow me”.

Black lips peeled back from a maw full of jagged teeth. The wolf rounded on Solas. A vicious snap of its jaws made the apostate flinch. Solas unwound his fingers from Ellana's wrist. He tensed when a pair of huge black ears flatted against the crown of a gigantic lupine head.

The wolf made its displeasure known with a guttural rumble that shook the earth.

“You were sealed into my orb”, gasped Solas. “Even with its destruction, the containment spell, should have kept you imprisoned”.

A second gigantic paw, tipped with razor-sharp claws, slid from the Eluvian.

Solas hastily stepped aside to avoid being trodden on.

He gaped when the beast lowered its shaggy black head. A moist nose slid between the open halves of Ellana's overcoat. The leather rustled as the wolf gave her armoured belly an affectionate nuzzle. Ellana embraced its broad black snout. She laid her cheek against its soft silky fur.

Solas was incredulous.

“You awakened the spirit of Fen'Harel”.

“No”, said Ellana. “He was already awake and waiting for me on the other side. He dragged me back from death to life. He is the reason I returned to you, Solas. Without his interference I would have gone with Marethari and rejoined my family in the Setheneran”.

“ _Boss_!” bellowed the Iron Bull. “You better stop cuddling that demon and start talking!”

“ _He has a point_!” seconded Sera. “What do you mean you died?”

“ _Venhedis_!” cursed Dorian. “Will you please explain what's going on here!”

Ellana rolled her eyes. “Long story short. The Anchor killed me and I died. My spirit was trapped in the elven equivalent of purgatory. My elgar'falon here is the only reason I'm still alive”.

The Iron Bull scowled. “Vashedan!”

Sera grimaced. “Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! _Shit_!”

Dorian swore in his native tongue. “Festis bei umo canavarum!”

* * *

  **Elvish,** **Qunlat, and Tevene** **Translations: Courtesy of the Dragon Age Wiki**

* * *

 Vhenan – _Heart._

Vallaslin – _Blood writing. A special dye used to tattoo the patterns, sigils, and so forth of various member so the elven pantheon onto the face. Used by the Dalish elves._

Fen'Harel – _The Dread Wolf – The elven god of Rebellion, Betrayal, and Trickery._

Arlathan _–_ _This place of love – The capital city of ancient Elvhenan._

Solas _– Pride._

Elgar'falon _– Spirit-friend._

Setheneran _–_ _The Land of Waking Dreams_ _–_ _aka the Fade_ _._

Kadan _– Where the heart lies – Used by Qunari for someone they care about._

Viddasala _– One who converts purpose – A high ranked member of the Ben Hassrath._

Vashedan _– Shit._

Amatus _– A term of endearment used for one's spouse or lover. Likely means 'Beloved'._

Vishante Kaffas _– You shit on my tongue._

Venhedis _– Tevene swear word._

Festis bei umo canavarum – _You_ _will be the death of me._


	10. Touché

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains coarse language, copious amounts of wolf-slobber, and awkward references to canine behaviour. Discretion is advised.

Ellana pushed away the broad snout nosing her clothes and armour. The spirit of Fen'Harel whined, but relented when she frowned. He knew that look. Ellana wasn't in the mood for play. The scent of her annoyance smelt lemon-sour in his nostrils.

“Stop trying to stick your nose in my crotch”, she told him. “I know you can smell Solas on me without getting into my smalls”.

“ _Ew_!”

Ellana rolled her eyes.

“Sera. You've seen mabari dogs sniff arses. A giant wolf sniffing a crotch isn't that far out of the realm of possibility. He's a dog too even if he has more eyes, bigger teeth, and claws instead of nails. The only difference is that he's a spirit and not a stinky flea-farm that rolled in a pile of druffalo shit”.

Sera jabbed a finger at the spectre looming over them.

The wolf spirit had planted his hindquarters in front of the Eluvian. He cast a long shadow as he panted in the afternoon sun. His ears were pricked in alertness. His myriad glaring red eyes were half-lidded as he rested. His jaws were open exposing two rows of jagged teeth longer than her arm.

“That beastie is a lot bigger than a mabari!”

The Iron Bull grimaced when it glanced his way. He shivered when those enormous spider-like eyes focused on him. It was too damned creepy. Bull hated demons. He was revolted when its tongue lolled.

“Vashedan! Why the hell isn't it acting like a wolf? It should be snarling and snapping and trying to tear us limb from limb! But it's just sitting there panting and snooping and sniffing like a dog! I can't kill something that harmless even if it has sixteen eyes and a mouth full of fangs!”

Dorian lacked his lover's anxiety. He was surprised they hadn't been eaten on sight. Demons were notorious for attacking anything and everything that moved. Dorian had experienced more violence at the hands of a band of marauding bandits. This creature was not a filthy unwashed brigand or a rabid half-starved beast.

“You're not a demon at all despite your fearsome looks”.

A huge black ear turned towards him.

Dorian couldn't believe his luck.

“Amatus! Did you see that? He's listening to me! This is a marvellous opportunity! Oh, Sir Wolf, please excuse my terrible manners”.

Ellana smiled when her friend bowed at the waist.

“I am Dorian Pavus of House Pavus. A magister of Tevinter. It is a pleasure to meet you”.

Bull was unimpressed by his posturing.

“Kadan! What are you doing?”

“I am being courteous and introducing myself to our guest”.

Bull jabbed a thumb at Ellana's newest friend. “That thing is not our guest. It's a demon. It's evil. It's going back to the Fade where it belongs”.

The wolf bared its teeth and growled.

Dorian grinned.

“Am I right in thinking you're not going anywhere without Ellana?”

The wolf gave the mage a self-assuring woof.

Dorian laughed.

“Aw! Aren't you adorable!”

“Kadan!” snarled the Iron Bull. “Stop talking to it like its a person!”

“Amatus”, Dorian explained with the patience of a saint. “It _is_ a person albeit a wolf-shaped spirit of a person. Besides I've always wanted a dog, but my mother forbid me from having one. She had allergies to dust, hair, peasants, bad manners, and anything horribly unfashionable. I asked her for a puppy when I was five and instead of a warm wriggling ball of fuzz she gave me a fennec-fur robe. When I found out that it was made from the fur of forty fox-cubs I cried for a week”.

“What a bitch”, concluded Sera.

Dorian smirked. “I had to inherit my charming personality from someone”.

“She's even more of a bitch”.

“I hope you meant that in jest”.

“Sorry”, apologised Sera. “I get snarky when I'm nervous”.

She nodded to the wolf eyeing them as if they were tasty treats.

“That thing keeps watching me”.

Dorian pulled a face.

“It's a pity that he has terrible taste. You dress in rags stained with mustard. I suppose smelling like a leg of ham is more appetising than stinking like an Orlesian sow soaked in perfume. You'd go down a treat, but I think he'd choke on a wrinkled dowager dripping in diamonds”.

“ _Hey_! I'm not going to be some spirit's breakfast! If he tries to eat me I'll stick him with the pointy end of an arrow! I have a whole quiver full! We'll see if he likes chewing on prickles!”

Sera froze, eyes going wide, when a warm gust of wind ruffled her hair. She blanched when something large, furry, and oddly pleasant smelling blotted out the sun. She was cast in shadow as Ellana's gigantic wolf gave her a cursory sniff. Sera was too afraid to move. She was rooted like a tree as she wailed over and over again.

“It's looking at me! It's looking at me! _It's_ _looking at me_!”

Dorian gave Ellana an amused wink.

“I think he likes her”.

“Ma elgar'falon”, reproved Ellana. “You're scaring her”.

The spirit of Fen'Harel opened its mouth in response. Dorian gasped when it leaned towards Sera. The mage thought it might snap her up and swallow her whole. He appealed to the Iron Bull with a panicked glance. Perhaps trying to befriend the beast had been a terrible idea.

“ _Amatus_!”

“I told you it was a demon!”

Ellana didn't intervene when Bull, with great-sword in hand, ran towards her spirit-friend. She yawned when he bellowed a Qunari battle-cry. She shook her head when Dorian gestured to their friends whom he thought were in imminent danger. Ellana flapped her hand at him in dismissal. She seemed unconcerned for their welfare.

“That thing is going to chomp on our comrades!”

“You worry too much, Dorian. They'll be fine”.

“Are you mad?”

Ellana gave him a bored look.

“Just wait”.

“What?”

Ellana held up one finger, then a second, and a third.

She snapped her fingers right on cue.

“ _Yuck_!” cried Sera. “Ew! _Ew_! _It licked me_! Now I'm covered in wolf-spirit spit!”

Dorian snickered when he saw Sera saturated from head to toe in glistening strings of saliva. He doubled-over, nose to kneecap, when his lover received the same enthusiastic greeting. The Iron Bull dropped his great-sword when a large pink tongue swept towards him. His first introduction to Ellana's new friend was a firm and friendly tongue-lashing. Bull roared when he was licked from the top of his horns to the pointed tips of his boots.

“ _PARSHAARA_!”

The spirit of Fen'Harel ceased to accost the Tal Vashoth warrior.

“I guess he understands Qunlat. Hmm. He must be multilingual”, said Ellana. “I never saw that coming. He probably understands the elven language and the common-tongue too”.

The wolf inclined his head, black ears perked in readiness, and barked a greeting. Bull scowled when the beast's black tail wagged back and forth. It was happy. Bull was not. He wiped a hand down his face to remove the generous helping of slime from his one good eye.

“ _Disgusting_!” complained Bull. “Why couldn't you just eat me like a proper demon?”

The wolf stuck his broad black nose in Bull's chest.

He whined like a puppy begging for forgiveness.

Bull gazed into its glowing red eyes. He was unsettled when he saw sincere contrition reflected there. This beast was no demon. It was intelligent and sorry for what it had done. Bull grimaced and gave the spirit an awkward pat on the snout.

“Yeah. I suppose I can accept your apology. Just don't try to lick me again. I don't have that many changes of clothes. It's really weird that your breath doesn't smell like ass. It's kind of fruity like spiced apple cider”.

Dorian hooted like an owl as he sprawled in the grass.

He laughed till he was blue in the face.

Ellana smirked.

“I told you there was nothing to worry about”.

“I b-believe y-you!” stammered Dorian as he cackled like a loon.

Ellana looked at Solas. He had kept a respectful distance since her wolf-spirit had emerged from the Eluvian. He could not escape through the mirror. A large furry behind with a matching black tail blocked his way. He was trapped inside the meadow.

He could only go back the way Ellana had originally come.

“So”, she said casually. “Will you be joining us at the Exalted Council? I hear Val Royeaux is beautiful this time of year”.

Solas scowled.

“This is not over”.

Ellana grinned. “You bet it's not, Fen'Harel”. She tapped her chin with a calloused forefinger. “Or should I call you, Solas? My elgar'falon does resemble that name better than you do. I think I'll call him Fen'Harel instead”.

Solas swore in elvish.

Ellana laughed. “I believe there's an Orlesian word that says it best”.

“Touché, vhenan. Touché”.

“Good”, affirmed Ellana. “I'm glad you're not too proud to admit that this round is mine”.

* * *

  **Elvish,** **Qunlat, and Tevene** **Translations: Courtesy of the Dragon Age Wiki**

* * *

Vhenan – _Heart._

Fen'Harel – _The Dread Wolf – The elven god of Rebellion, Betrayal, and Trickery._

Solas _– Pride._

Ma elgar'falon _– My spirit-friend._

Kadan _– Where the heart lies – Used by Qunari for someone they care about._

Vashedan _– Shit._

Parshaara _– Enough._

Amatus _– A term of endearment used for one's spouse or lover. Likely means 'Beloved'._


	11. Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains coarse language. Discretion is advised.

“Yuck!” cried Sera. “I'm covered in wolf slobber!”

The spirit of Fen'Harel whined.

Sera pouted.

“All right! Stop looking at me with those big puppy-spirit eyes! I forgive you!”

Ellana intervened when her spirit-friend opened his mouth again. An impressive set of jagged lupine teeth flashed white in the afternoon sun. She laid a hand on his wet nose. A gentle smile and a shake of her head was enough. A soft snort and that gigantic maw closed with a moist snap.

“Ma serannas”.

Sera was relieved she'd been spared a second dunking.

“Thank the Maker. If he licked me again I'd drown in his spit”.

“Probably”, affirmed Ellana.

She shared a fond look with her newest friend. Myriad red eyes returned her gaze. She saw her face and the lines of her vallaslin reflected in those crimson irises. Ellana glanced at her left hand. It was bare to the wrist and naked without her leather glove and silverite gauntlet.

She turned to her disgruntled lover standing in a shaft of sunlight.

He was resplendent in his gilded golden armour.

Ellana came to a startling realisation.

“You knew the Anchor would kill me”.

“Vhenan”, implored Solas. “Do not do this”.

“They have a right to know!”

“Not like this”.

Sera gasped.

The Iron Bull turned a suspicious eye on Solas.

“Oh. Here it comes”, groused Dorian. “The horrible truth about your sordid love affair. I knew he'd done worse that just lying to you. All the cute, quiet, and clever ones always have a deep, dark, and ugly secret”.

“We already know he's Fen'Harel”, said Sera.

Dorian gaped at her. “I can't believe you got that name right”.

Sera punched him in the shoulder.

Dorian rubbed his stinging arm. “I suppose I deserved that”.

“Damn right you did. Just because I've got pointy ears doesn't mean I'm stupid”.

The Iron Bull rolled his eyes. “Parshaara! I want to hear what the Boss has to say! Be quiet!”

Sera pouted.

Dorian sighed.

“They saw me fall to my knees when I lost control of the Anchor”, declared Ellana. “They heard me scream in agony as its magic burned me inside and out. It was as if a fire had been lit under my skin. I knew I was going to die. I never thought the man who studied the Anchor could have stabilised it too”.

“Vhenan!” pleaded Solas. “ _Please_!”

“Shut your pie-hole, baldy!” hissed Sera.

“Keep going, Boss”, encouraged Bull.

Dorian nodded. “Tell us what happened”.

“He would have severed my arm to the bone instead of helping me”, explained Ellana. “I had to die and return to realise the truth. You love me, Solas, but you would have maimed me for life to neutralise a threat. As a warrior I'm your equal and as the Inquisitor I'm your match. I can raise Thedas against you and keep the Veil intact or tear it down”.

Sera blanched.

“But you wouldn't tear the Veil! Right? Not after you went to all that trouble to seal the Breach! You defeated Corifypiss and saved us all!”.

Sera's lower-lip quivered.

“Please don't be an evil shit!” she cried. “I don't want to stick you with my arrows!”

Ellana's smile was sad.

“Boss!” growled the Iron Bull. “You're not a turncoat!”

“My amatus is right”, beseeched Dorian. “You are not a traitor”.

Ellana snorted. She laughed when the spirit of Fen'Harel nuzzled her cheek. His wet nose was cool against her skin. She gave Solas a hard look. The smile on her face was both a warning and a promise.

“Of course I'm not”, she assured her friends. “You're my family. My Clan. I'd sooner feed myself to a dragon than betray any of you. Unlike Solas I know where my loyalties lie”.

“You rotten shit!” hissed Sera. “I thought you were being serious!”

Bull groaned. “So did I. Sometimes, Boss. You can be a real, Bitch”.

“ _Amatus_!” reproved Dorian.

Bull gestured to a smirking unrepentant Ellana.

Dorian scowled. “That was naughty!”

“I know”, agreed Ellana. “But I had to make a point. My lover would have left me permanently disfigured to end my reign as the Inquisitor. I cannot draw a bow one-armed or wield twin daggers one-handed. My adventuring days would have been over”.

Solas's mouth was a thin grim line. Ellana was right. He would have taken her arm to subdue her. She was his match in influence and ability. She could thwart his plans as Corypheus and the Qunari had, but unlike them she would succeed.

“You would have survived”, said Solas.

“Not whole”, stated Ellana. “You would have claimed another piece of me”.

“I had to do what was necessary”.

“You love me and you were willing to hurt me. If you cannot see the wrong in that, Solas. Then you will ruin Thedas not save it. Your perception of good and evil, of right and wrong, is so distorted you cannot tell truth from a lie. Your people are dead. Their descendants, the modern elves, are my people”.

“Vhenan”.

“We have the right to choose our own fates”.

“I want to do what is best for them”.

“No”, corrected Ellana. “You want to do what is best for you”.

“You do not understand!” argued Solas. “I am trying to restore Elvhenan!”

“Elvhenan is gone”.

“It can be renewed!”

“At the cost of thousands of lives”, finished Ellana. “No amount of glory, knowledge, or power is worth that sacrifice. My clan died for me, Solas. Don't you understand? I would give up everything I have to see them again”.

The spirit of Fen'Harel whimpered.

Ellana glanced his way.

“Ir abelas”, she told him. “They were all I had in this world before the Inquisition”.

Solas took a step towards her.

“You are not alone in your grief, vhenan”.

Silver flashed in the sunlight as the Iron Bull reclaimed his fallen great-sword.

“The threat stands”, he warned his former comrade. “Touch her again and I'll lop off your head”.

Solas paused. “She is mine!”

“Only if she chooses to be”, challenged Sera. “From what I've heard she thinks your an arrogant arse not her sweetheart”.

* * *

  **Elvish,** **Qunlat, and Tevene** **Translations: Courtesy of the Dragon Age Wiki**

* * *

Vhenan – _Heart._

Ma serannas _– My thanks._

Ir abelas _– I am sorry._

Fen'Harel – _The Dread Wolf – The elven god of Rebellion, Betrayal, and Trickery._

Solas _– Pride._

Amatus _– A term of endearment used for one's spouse or lover. Likely means 'Beloved'._


	12. Twice bound

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains coarse language. Discretion is advised.

Dorian frowned. He glanced between Solas and the gigantic wolf guarding Ellana. If her lover had refused to help her than who had saved her life? He swore when he realised the truth. Where Solas had fallen, another had stepped into his place.

“Fasta Vass!”

“Kadan?” called Bull.

Dorian pointed a frantic finger at the spirit Ellana had befriended.

“What are you squawking about?” demanded Sera.

“The vallaslin!” exclaimed Dorian. “Ellana's left hand! The stabilising of the Anchor! He saved Ellana's life when Solas wouldn't! It all fits!”

Bull gaped at the spirit dwarfing Ellana.

Sera followed his line of sight.

The wolf leaned into Ellana's touch when she scratched a thick furry black ear.

“Vashedan!” cursed Bull.

“Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! _Shit_!” swore Sera.

“I'm afraid so”, remarked Dorian. “We owe that creature a substantial debt. He's the reason our dear Inquisitor is alive”.

Ellana's eyes widened. “The Orb of Fen'Harel”. She stared at the spirit before her. “Solas said you were imprisoned inside it. I destroyed the Orb when I tore Corypheus apart with the power of the Anchor”.

Solas sighed.

He understood her incredulity.

“Magic flows like water, vhenan. It cannot be destroyed, but it can be transformed”.

Solas nodded to her hands bearing the emerald lines of his vallaslin.

“My orb was destroyed. The magic contained within it was not”.

Ellana reminded him of a simple truth.

“I am not a mage”.

“You are _more_ ”.

Ellana stared at him.

“What do you mean?”

Solas gestured to her newest friend.

“You bear the Anchor and the Mark of Fen'Harel. My orb was both a prison and a foci. It contained him and focused my magic. The orb is gone and he remains. You are his Keeper, my love, as surely as you are mine”.

The corners of Ellana's eyes prickled. She wrapped her arms around the spirit's broad black snout. She finally understood what Marethari had tried to tell her. Ellana embraced her friend and ally. Love bound them to each other as surely as it bound her to Solas.

“You saved me when he wouldn't. Ma serannas. I owe you my life”. Ellana smiled as the tears trickled down her cheeks. “I won't waste the gift you've given me”.

The spirit of Fen'Harel whined.

The lines of Ellana's vallaslin glowed with an otherworldly light.

“I won't let anyone hurt you”, she promised. “Not the Divine, the Chantry, or the Templars. You're not evil. You're good and wonderful and mine. I'll protect you, always, until my dying breath”.

Dorian grimaced.

“Divine Victoria won't like this at all”.

Sera shrugged. “Old chainmail tits will get over it”.

“Cassandra can fuss all she likes”, concluded Bull. “It won't matter one bit”.

“Of course it will!” insisted Dorian. “Something this bizarre isn't going to go over well with someone as devout as Cassandra”.

“Not friggin' likely, but she won't start a war over it”, snorted Sera. “It's not like Inky can go on being the Inquisitor with that wolfy-thing attached to her hip”.

“Do you mean Solas?” asked Dorian. “Ow! Stop hitting me! _Sera_!”

“I was talking about the wolfy-spirit-thing not that bald bastard!”

Solas groaned. “I can hear you, Sera”.

“That's a first. You ignored me when you were part of the Inquisition. I was just a stupid street-rat without a lick of sense between her pointy ears. Now who's been knocked off his high horse? Welcome to Humbleville you mouldy old, prat”.

Ellana laughed through the tears.

“She's right. You're old enough to be my grandfather a thousand times over”.

“I am not a lecher!” snapped Solas. “And it was a mutual attraction”.

“Pfft”, snickered Sera. “Says the man who's a few thousand years old. For all you know Inky could be your descendant. If she is than you just shagged your own thousandth great granddaughter. Which, smart-arse, would make you a lecher”.

Solas grimaced.

Ellana blushed.

“ _Sera_!”

“What?”

Her sly smile oozed innocence.

Dorian frowned. “Just stop. Please. You're making my stomach churn”.

Sera grinned.

The Iron Bull chuckled. He was used to Sera's antics. She was naturally mischievous. She disliked Solas too. Bull stepped in to steer the conversation away from such an uncomfortable subject.

If Solas ever bred he doubted Thedas would survive.

“Well then the Inquisition will have to be turned over to Cullen or disbanded”.

“I know”, agreed Ellana. “I think it was inevitable. The current Inquisition is riddled with Qunari spies and Solas's agents. No one can be trusted outside my inner circle. I think Cullen would be an excellent successor”.

“He's a seasoned commander”, reasoned Bull. “And a veteran Templar”.

“He is”, agreed Ellana. “He'd also be the best equipped to deal with Cassandra”.

“ _Venhedis_!” swore Dorian. He gaped at Ellana. “You're going to abdicate your position as the Inquisitor!”

Ellana nodded.

“The Exalted Council will force me to step down once they learn I still have the Anchor. Solas is right. I'm a threat, Dorian. No amount of good I've done will change that. In order for the Inquisition to continue I'll have to leave it behind”.

“You can't! Thedas needs you!”

“I've done my duty and served my people”. Ellana ran her fingers through slick black fur. Her smile was one of relief. “Now I have to serve another. This beautiful spirit needs me more than they do”.

Solas scowled. “What of me?”

“We had sex”, said Ellana. “I think that's compensation enough”.

“And if you fall pregnant with my child?”

“You were willing to cut off my arm”, countered Ellana. “A baby would make us even”.

Solas stared at her. “You would not take medicine to prevent conception?”

“Never. If the Maker blesses me with your child. I will accept his kindness. If not than I will lament the loss. And move on with my life”.

“Vhenan”, implored Solas. “We should stay together”.

“Have you had a change of heart?”

“For you. Yes. For the future of my people. Nae. I cannot stray from my path”.

“You always were stubborn”. Ellana nodded. “If you can't compromise, Solas, than neither can I”.

“Vhenan!”

“Enough, Solas. You will not have your way this time”.

Ellana was unsurprised when her elgar'falon bared his fangs in warning.

A sharp snap of his teeth and a menacing growl made Solas flinch.

“She is as much mine as she is yours!”

The spirit of Fen'Harel disagreed.

Ellana was soon surrounded by a protective cocoon of black fur.

“I guess he doesn't like you either”, giggled Sera.

Solas glared at her.

Sera poked her tongue at him.

The Iron Bull grinned. “You're free to join my band, Boss. The Chargers leave for the Storm Coast in a week. I could use an archer and a master locksmith. Your wolf's welcome too as long as he shrinks. Anything that big is going to draw unwanted attention”.

“Amatus!”

“Put a plug in it, Kadan”, reproved Bull. “The offer stands, Boss”.

Ellana shared a look with her elgar'falon.

“What do you think?”

The spirit of Fen'Harel barked his agreement.

Ellana laughed. “You've got yourself an archer, Bull”.

“Good. I hope you don't mind. You'll have to follow my orders”.

“I'd have the best person in Thedas leading me”.

“Aw, Boss”, chuckled Bull. “You're making me blush!”

Dorian pouted. “I thought that was my job”.

Bull's cheeks were purple. “It is, but she's being sweet”.

Dorian have Ellana a dark look. “I'm sorry my, dear. But he's mine. Your sweetling is over there being a snooty arse. And you have a wolf-spirit too which is incredibly unfair”.

“I know”, said Ellana. “And I'm sorry too, but I did have to die to get both of them”.

“True”.

“Dorian”, groaned Ellana. “Please stop pouting”.

“I can't help it. I'm envious, Ellana. It runs in the blood. I am from Tevinter you know. We magisters are a jealous lot. But if you get me a mabari puppy I'll forgive you”.

“Kadan”, groaned Bull. “Dogs shit and piss everywhere”.

“If I can teach you to appreciate fine Orlesian wines”, said Dorian. “I can train a dog not to shit or piss on my horribly expensive Orlesian carpets”. He nodded to Ellana. “You're still the Inquisitor. Get me the puppy I've always wanted and you'll forever be welcome in my family's estate”.

“But elves are slaves in Tevinter”, grumbled Sera.

Dorian jabbed a finger at Ellana. “What magister is going to clap her in irons?”

Sera grinned. “None”.

“Exactly. He'd be dead before he could cast a spell. And that's if the wolf didn't tear him in half first. Which gives me a great deal of relief. I'm glad she's my friend and not my enemy”.

“Me too”, avowed Sera. “Me too”.

* * *

  **Elvish,** **Qunlat, and Tevene** **Translations: Courtesy of the Dragon Age Wiki**

* * *

 Vhenan – _Heart._

Fen'Harel – _The Dread Wolf – The elven god of Rebellion, Betrayal, and Trickery._

Solas _– Pride._

Ma serannas ma elgar'falon _– My thank_ _s my spirit-friend._

Kadan _– Where the heart lies – Used by Qunari for someone they care about._

Vashedan _– Shit._

Amatus _– A term of endearment used for one's spouse or lover. Likely means 'Beloved'._

Fasta Vass _– A Tevene swear word._

Venhedis _– A Tevene swear word._


	13. Dragons and Goodbyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains coarse language. Discretion is advised.

Sera prodded a slate-grey arm. The thick hand and clawed fingers were wrapped around the shaft of a Qunari spear. The Viddasala, poised to cast her weapon, was petrified in stone. Sera gave the statue's ample bosom a longing look. The snug breastplate and bodice left little to the imagination.

“Maker”, sighed Sera. “Your woman are gorgeous, Bull”.

“They are”, agreed the Iron Bull. “When they're not trying to kill you”.

“I suppose you're right”, said Sera. “You wouldn't have fun with them if they're trying to stick a spear through your back”.

“Probably not”.

Dorian rolled his eyes.

Sera snorted. “Are you jealous that Bull likes women too?”

“Hardly, Sera. Every man has eyes. Women are beautiful, it's true, but not every man appreciates them in the same way. Bull can look all he likes, but I know he won't partake. We trust one another, just like you trust Dagna”.

“Yeah”, mused Sera. “You're right, but you still didn't answer my question”. She nodded to the petrified Viddasala. “I saw that look, Sparkler. You were beady-eyed with a furrowed brow and bristling whiskers like a pissy old tomcat”.

“Maker's breath!” hissed Dorian. “I have a moustache, Sera. _A moustache_. I do not grow whiskers like a cat. Furthermore, I age like a fine wine. I also smell like a delightful bed of roses not a chamberpot full of urine”.

Sera snorted. “You hoity-toity types can never take a bloody joke”. She gave the irritable mage a hard look. “Stop being annoyed with me and listen. I know you're worried about, Inky”.

“Oh”, said Dorian. “Is it that obvious?”

“You were glaring at the stony Viddysally. If looks could kill she'd be dead ten times over”.

“I have every right to be angry”, he insisted. “She tried to kill my best friend”.

“Inky's not your best friend”, corrected Sera. “She's our best friend. Get it right, Sparkler. You're not the only one who thinks she's the crème de la crème. I'd jump off a bridge if she asked, not that she ever would, being the honourable shit she is”.

“Ellana is a terribly good person”.

“I know right? I feel guilty every time she frowns. Bloody spoilsport. I can't even play pranks anymore without getting twitchy. I can still have a good laugh at someone's expense, but I always feel bad about it afterwards. Thanks to her being a goody-goody”.

“Congratulations”, quipped Dorian. “You've found your conscience”.

Sera scowled.

“That sneaky bitch! Making me feel ashamed for being a shit! I never wanted a conscience! I enjoyed making people's lives miserable with a cream-pie to the face! I'll have to disown her for this!”

“You won't”, declared the Iron Bull. “You love her too much”.

Sera's lip curled, but she didn't curse. She pouted like an unhappy child. “Yeah. I do. She's become more than my friend. She's part of my family now”.

“Mine too”, seconded Dorian. “She's a lot nicer than my mother. And more respectful than my father. She cared about me, not her own reputation, when the rumour-mill started churning. I will never forget the look on Mother Giselle's face. It was priceless”.

He shared a conspiratorial grin with Sera.

“Yeah, she's pretty damned special for an elfy do-gooder”.

“She is”, agreed Dorian.

He glanced across the meadow, searching for Ellana. His eyes widened when he spied the Iron Bull instead of their mutual friend. He stared when his lover deliberately flexed his pectorals. Muscle bunched and coiled beneath Bull's grey skin. Dorian barked a reprimand.

“Amatus! _Stop distracting me_!”

“You like it”, teased Bull.

“Of course I do!” grumbled Dorian. “That does not make it appropriate! We are trying to have a serious conversation about- _Don't_ _flex your arms_! Venhedis! Stop pretending you're deaf!”

Bull grinned and rolled his burly shoulders.

“You're a horrible person”.

“I'm not the one drooling, Kadan”.

“I am not drooling!”

Bull made his pectorals dance again.

Dorian groaned.

“Oi!” hissed Sera. “ _Get a room_!”

“Oh we will”, promised Bull. “After the Exalted Council”. He winked at Dorian. “You know the rules, Kadan. It's business before pleasure”.

“I hate you”.

“Liar”.

“Fine!” griped Dorian. “I still love you, but I think you're being a despicable ass right now”.

“Kadan”, called Bull. “Stop thinking about my ass”.

“I am not- _Vishante kaffas_ -Shut up!”

Sera pouted when she heard Bull's rumbling laughter. “It's not fair”, she whined. “Bull and Sparkler. Inky and Grumpy-baldy-butt. Everyone has their sweetheart, but my Widdle's back in Skyhold”.

Ellana smiled. “Actually, Sera”. “I think it'll just be me and Fen'Harel soon enough. I don't think Solas is coming with us this time. Are you?”

She turned to her lover and extended her hand.

The spirit of Fen'Harel bared his fangs. His guttural rumble shook the earth. His myriad red eyes glowered balefully. He snarled when Solas took a step towards Ellana. His warning was stern when he snapped his formidable jaws.

Solas paused still as stone.

“I love her as you do”.

The wolf-spirit was just as possessive as his elven counterpart. He turned a gleaming red eye on Ellana. He slapped a massive black paw onto the grass between them. His talons, curved like scythes, gouged the earth. His meaning was clear.

Solas's smile was tinged with sadness.

“He will not allow me to go with you, vhenan”.

Ellana frowned. She glanced from her lover to her guardian. She moved toward the spirit's paw. It was as large as a baby dragon and covered in silky black fur instead of scales. Ellana laid her hand upon the blunt top of a claw as big as she was.

“He needs to atone for what he's done”.

Ellana gasped when that gargantuan paw slid backward. She was taken by surprise, fingers scrabbling, and feet dragging. She clung like a burr until the abrupt motion ceased. Ellana tentatively set her heels on the ground. She stared at the furrows dug into the earth.

Her spirit-friend had upturned grassy swards, small shrubs, and a tonne of rubble.

The scar in the dirt, cut in a perfect half-circle, ended at the Viddasala's petrified feet.

“Andraste's flaming knicker-weasels!” exclaimed Sera. “Look how he tore up the ground!”

Dorian exhaled shakily. He took a wary step backward. He flinched when a heavy hand landed on his shoulder. A frantic look and he sighed in relief. He was glad that Bull (and not some shady spectre) had caught him unawares.

“ _Kaffas_!” cursed Dorian. “You gave me such a fright!”

“Sorry, Kadan”, apologised Bull. “You are a little jumpy”.

Dorian gestured to the destruction caused by Ellana's spirit-friend.

Bull shrugged. “I've seen a dragon do worse”.

“You and your bloody dragons!”

“Hey! Dragons are powerful creatures! They can burn cities to the ground!”

“So can a horde of rampaging darkspawn led by an Archdemon!”

Bull snorted. “Archdemons are not dragons!”

“They are so!” argued Dorian.

“Says who?”

“History! And more recently the Hero of Fereldan! He battled an Archdemon about a decade ago! It was during the Fifth Blight! It had wings, breathed fire, and was covered in scales! Ergo, it was a dragon!”

Bull sniffed haughtily. “Archdemons are old gods corrupted by darkspawn. They take the form of dragons, but that doesn't mean they are dragons. There's a difference. Darkspawn couldn't get within a foot of a _real_ dragon without being roasted alive”.

“Fasta vass!” swore Dorian. His moustache bristled as he opened his mouth. He was prepared to argue his cause. Bull could be so pigheaded. Sometimes he needed a stern reminder about the way the real world worked.

The Qunari were renowned for being narrow-minded.

“ _Ma falon_!”

Dorian recognised that exasperated tone. His mother sounded the same when she was annoyed too. He glanced at Ellana. He grimaced when he saw her scowling face. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes bright, and her vallaslin was glowing.

“Sorry. I get snarky when I'm nervous”.

Sera snickered.

Dorian gave her a dirty look.

“That's what you get for interrupting an important conversation”.

“ _Sera_!” snapped Ellana.

Sera raised her hands in supplication.

“Sorry your, Waspishness. You can get on with your goodbyes now. Us mere mortals will shuffle our feet and be obedient snotty-nosed brats. It's not like we're your friends. We haven't been waiting for you for three bleedin' hours either!”

Ellana blushed. Sera was right. They had waited patiently whilst she'd reunited with Solas. Their passionate tryst had lasted for more than an hour. Ellana was a little worn out.

“Ir abelas”.

“Whatever”, griped Sera. “I'll be waiting for you at the Eluvian. Hurry up and send baldy on his way. I think your beastie's right. You're better off without him”.

Ellana watched Sera walk down the flight of stone steps.

“I think she's right you know”, seconded Dorian. “It might seem strange, but that wolf of yours is trying to protect you. Solas was our comrade, Ellana. He's not now. He proved he was our enemy when he threatened to turn us to stone”.

Solas had the decency to look guilty.

Dorian snorted. “It's too late to feel bad about it now. The deed is done. I will never trust you again. It is best, for all our sakes, that you leave Ellana alone”.

He followed Sera down the stairs too.

Bull swung his great-sword over his burly shoulder. The steel sang as it was sheathed. He shared a single understanding look with Ellana. A simple nod conveyed all he needed to say. He ignored Solas and offered her a calloused grey hand.

“It's time to go, Boss”.

The spirit of Fen'Harel barked his agreement.

* * *

  **Elvish,** **Qunlat, and Tevene** **Translations: Courtesy of the Dragon Age Wiki**

* * *

Vhenan – _Heart._

Fen'Harel – _The Dread Wolf – The elven god of Rebellion, Betrayal, and Trickery._

Solas _– Pride._

Ma falon _– My friend._

Ir abelas _– I am sorry._

Kadan – _Where the heart lies – Used by Qunari for someone they care about._

Amatus – _A term of endearment used for one's spouse or lover. Likely means 'Beloved'._

Kaffas – _Shit._

Vishante Kaffas _– You shit on my tongue._

Venhedis _– A Tevene swear word._

Fasta vass _– A Tevene swear word._


	14. A Bitter Parting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains coarse language. Discretion is advised.

Ellana's heart was in her throat. It was harder to say goodbye than she'd thought it would be. She gaped owlishly at Solas. Her breath hitched when a wet nose pressed into her belly. She was nudged toward the Iron Bull.

“ _Venavis_!”

Her wolf growled and pushed her again.

“Solas!” called Ellana. “Wait!”

“Ir abelas, vhenan”.

“ _Solas_!”

“I will always love you”.

Ellana was herded away from him. The spirit of Fen'Harel shrunk in size when she tried to break his guard. A clever feint was countered with snapping teeth. A swift dodge ended when he crowded close penning her in. Ellana had little choice but to retreat though each step was agony.

“Solas!” she pleaded. “ _Garas ma_!”

“The Mark of Fen'Harel is mine”, he told her. “But the vallaslin is his”.

Solas nodded to her lupine guardian.

“He saved you when I would not”.

“Solas! _Please_!” sobbed Ellana.

The tears came thick and fast.

“I named you my consort”, said Solas. “I bedded you, but it did not make you mine. You belong to my shadow. My past. And he does not share”.

Ellana was shoved into the Iron Bull's arms. Her wolf, black as midnight, resembled an ordinary beast. His eyes, now a single pair, shimmered like rubies. He turned and gave the elven half of his being a final warning. His shaggy head tipped back and his jaws opened.

Bull trembled when he heard that eerie lupine wail.

The Dread Wolf howled.

Fen'Harel asserted his claim.

The howl faded and Ellana's vallaslin shone star-bright. Solas saw how the Iron Bull weathered the storm of her discontent. Ellana kicked, bit, and scratched like a wild-thing. A muscular arm locked around her shoulders whilst a second caught her round the waist. Solas watched a giant clawed grey-hand cradle the nape of Ellana's neck.

Bull's embrace was both protective and necessary.

Ellana was as swift as a Halla on foot.

She would easily outrun him given a chance to escape.

Solas felt the weight of his gaze.

A lone silver-grey eye glared at him.

“Leave!” commanded Bull. “ _Now_!”

Solas's lip curled. It was a reversal of their earlier encounter. He bristled at Bull's tone, but did not retaliate. He eyed the wolf with its bared teeth and rolling red eyes. Fen'Harel stood before them amidst churned earth and slabs of broken stone.

Black ears were flattened against the crown of his shaggy head. His long black snout was wrinkled. His black nose glistened as he snapped and snarled. The menacing growl, a promise of pain, made Solas take an involuntary step backward. He dared not take his eyes off the spirit that represented the darker half of his nature.

“I underestimated you”, declared Solas. “Ellana did not steal the Anchor from Corypheus. You gave it to her when she touched my orb. Corypheus was blinded by his own arrogance. He never suspected my somnaborium had a mind and will of its own”.

Fen'Harel advanced on him.

Solas retreated again and acknowledged his own defeat.

“You played us both. Well done my, brother. I concede to the victor. This battle is yours, but the war is far from over. Keep our vhenan safe while you can”.

Ellana shook like a leaf. Her cries were smothered by Bull's broad leather belt. She buried her face in the curve of his belly. He patted her shoulders as she wept. He held her fast, making certain she would not see the moment, her lover walked away.

Bull watched him climb the mound of rubble.

Solas paused and looked back once.

“Dareth shiral. Until we meet again”.

Bull nodded. He did not release Ellana until Solas had stepped through the Eluvian. The mirror flashed silver-blue before going dark. Bull deduced that Solas had likely sealed it from the other side to prevent pursuit. He allowed Ellana to pull away from him once she ceased to cry.

Bull's face softened in concern when he saw her red-rimmed eyes.

She was a mess.

“I'm sorry, Boss”.

“It's all right”, Ellana replied shakily. “You were only trying to help me”.

Bull grimaced when she wiped her wet face.

It was hard to see her so dejected.

“He's gone then”.

“Yeah”, confirmed Bull. “I don't think we can follow him”.

Ellana's breath hitched. “Probably not. Solas has always been a step ahead of us. He's had thousands of years to perfect being a liar. I may have unsettled him today, but it won't take him long to overcome it”.

Bull didn't press her further. He could tell she was unhappy. She reeked of sadness and sex and disappointment. He knew she had wanted this reunion to work out differently. Love was a strange and mercurial thing.

It never went as planned.

“It hurts now”, Bull told her. “But you'll heal”.

He nodded to the wolf-spirit loping across the meadow.

His black coat and red eyes gleamed in the afternoon sun.

Ellana hiccuped and opened her arms.

The spirit of Fen'Harel whined when she hugged him.

Ellana buried her face in his furry black ruff. She was surprised to find her lover's comforting scent. Solas had smelt of sandalwood and cinnamon too. Ellana grasped her guardian's face in her hands. She turned his shaggy black head around until she could gaze into his blood-red eyes.

“You smell like him”.

A voice, reminiscent of Solas, rippled through her mind.

_Of course I do, vhenan. My twin and I are separate beings, but we are still reflections of one another. I may look like a wolf now, but I am not an ordinary beast. I am a spirit and more. You will see the truth for yourself when I share your bed tonight._

Ellana blanched.

“You all right, Boss?” asked Bull.

Ellana shook her head. “He just talked to me!”

Bull frowned. “What?”

Ellana yanked on a furry black ear.

Her wolf growled.

“I'm not crazy! He talked to me, just now, inside my head!”

Bull gaped at her. “No more Orlesian wine for you”.

“I'm not drunk!”

“Sure you're not”.

“He talked to me!” insisted Ellana. “He really did!”

Bull frowned.

“Maker's balls! I'm not going mad!”

“Yeah. I'm not so sure of that”.

“ _You think I'm mad_ ”.

“No I don't”.

“You're lying!”

“Damn. I knew teaching you how to read facial expressions and body language was a bad idea”.

“ _Bull_!”

“Sorry, Boss”.

The spirit of Fen'Harel snorted.

_He will never believe you. Mortals are quick to dismiss the unusual. They could never think a mere wolf could be an intelligent being like them. Mythal would roll in her grave. This Iron Bull might have her horns, but he lacks her smarts._

Ellana gawked at her grey-skinned friend.

He returned her scrutiny.

“Something wrong?”

Ellana gaped at his broad bull-like horns.

“Ma Mythal'len”.

“ _Did you just insult me_?”

“No! Of course I didn't! It's your horns, Bull!” gasped Ellana. “Flemeth had horns too! I never thought for a moment that you might be her descendant”.

Bull grimaced. He was uncomfortable with the comparison. He had heard about Flemeth in his travels throughout Thedas. The Witch of the Wilds was a legendary figure in many cultures. He didn't want to think that he might be related to her in some fashion.

Magic, witches, and dragons did not mix well.

“We really should return to Val Royeaux”.

Ellana nodded numbly. “Yes. We should”.

The spirit of Fen'Harel laughed.

 _I told you he would not understand_ ! _A child of Mythal indeed_ ! _Born of the dragon, but without the dragon's wit_ ! _Perhaps my twin should have frozen him in stone. His brethren, ignorant as they are, certainly deserved their fate._

“He's not stupid!” hissed Ellana. “And don't talk about my friends like that!”

_Says you, vhenan. Then you need better friends._

“Stop being rude!”

_I am teasing you, vhenan. Your friends are interesting people. I look forward to getting to know them better. For now I should give you some advice. It is not a good idea to have a conversation with yourself while you have company._

“I am not talking to-Bull, why are you staring at me?”

“You're talking to yourself”.

Ellana glared at their resident wolf-spirit.

Fen'Harel nuzzled her cheek.

_He thinks you are mad._

“I'm not!”

“Er, Boss”, called Bull.

“Yes?”

“You're doing it again”.

“Oh”.

“Yeah”, concluded Bull. “You'd best stop doing that. People might think you're crazy”.

* * *

 **Elvish,** **Qunlat, and Tevene** **Translations: Courtesy of the Dragon Age Wiki**

* * *

Vhenan – _Heart._

Fen'Harel – _The Dread Wolf – The elven god of Rebellion, Betrayal, and Trickery._

Solas _– Pride._

Venavis _– Stop._

Garas ma _– Come with me._

Ma Mythal'len _– You are a child of Mythal._

Dareth shiral _– Safe journey._

Kadan – _Where the heart lies – Used by Qunari for someone they care about._

Amatus – _A term of endearment used for one's spouse or lover. Likely means 'Beloved'._

Somnaborium _– Vessels of Dreams._


	15. Perfect Symmetry

Ellana wiped her wet face. She was tired and heartbroken. She wanted to forget the last few hours had ever happened and sleep for a week. Meeting Solas again hadn't gone well. Ellana sniffed when Sera squeezed her shoulder.

“Come on, Inky. Chin up. You've been through worse shite than this and come out the other side. I know you feel like crap now, but you'll get better with time. You just need a hot bath, a good meal, and a nice long sleep in a warm bed”.

Dorian shared a worried look with the Iron Bull. Ellana hadn't said a word since they'd left the meadow. She'd been quiet and withdrawn during their return trek to Val Royeaux. They stood before an Eluvian reflecting a torch-lit hallway. Ellana hadn't stepped through to rejoin the Inquisition soldiers guarding the mirror.

“Boss”, soothed Bull. “It's not all bad. You have good company. Me, Dorian, Sera, and our newest addition. Your wolf will scare the shit out of people”.

Bull grinned when Ellana turned around. Her watery eyes were wide and her mouth agape. He had taken her by surprise. Bull winked when Ellana smiled through the tears. He chuckled when she looped her arms around his waist.

A hard squeeze made his ribs ache.

Their scrawny elven Inquisitor was stronger than she looked.

“Easy, Boss. You'll break me”.

Ellana hiccuped and peered at him through tear-wet lashes.

Bull frowned when she extended a finger and made a hasty beckoning gesture. He leaned down in response, more curious than suspicious. He gasped when Ellana grabbed both his horns. Bull was too startled to protest when Ellana kissed his cheek. The contact was brief, but the gesture spoke volumes.

Dorian hissed like a viper.

“Kaffas! He's mine! You can't just kiss-What are doing? Don't pucker your lips! _Ellana_!”

A second kiss on the cheek silenced the magister.

Sera rolled her eyes when Dorian blushed to the tips of his ears. She presented a pale cheek to Ellana. She giggled when she was kissed on the brow instead. Sera was relieved when Ellana smiled. She was still red-eyed and miserable, but her grief was less burdensome.

“Feeling better, Inky?”

Ellana nodded. “I'm glad you're my friends. Thank you for everything”.

Bull's cheeks purpled.

He was flustered.

“You're good in my book, Boss”.

“You can call me Ellana”.

Bull grimaced. “That'd be weird”.

The sound of her laughter pleased him.

Ellana would be fine.

Bull bumped Dorian's shoulder.

“Say something encouraging”.

“I can't believe she kissed me!”

“That's not what I had in mind, Kadan”.

Dorian stared at Ellana. He was red-cheeked and mortified. Few women had dared be so forward with the Heir of House Pavus. None had ever kissed him without their silk skirts catching fire. Dorian was flabbergasted by Ellana's simple gesture of affection.

“She kissed me!”

“On the cheek not the mouth”, said Sera. “It was a friendly peck not a ' _I want to have your magical magister babies_ ' kind of kiss”.

“I know that!” grumbled Dorian. “It's just really hard to accept!”

“Why?” asked Sera. “You're pretty not ugly. I bet there's a wagon-load of girls all over Thedas that wouldn't mind locking lips with you. It's too bad for them you prefer herding the bull to milking the cow”.

“That was hilarious”, groused the Iron Bull. “You must think you're real funny”.

Sera winked cheekily. “It is funny since it's true you big, Ox”.

“ _Sera_!”

“Oh! Is the big burly Bull going to spank me? Careful. Sparkler might get jealous. I wouldn't want him to think you had a thing for elves”.

“I do not have a thing for elves!”

“Just the redheads”.

“You've got me there”.

Sera snickered. “Sparkler. Ellana's a friend not an Orlesian sow trying to get inside your knickers. She was just showing us how much she cares. I don't understand why you're so wound up about it”.

“ _I'm wound up b_ _ecause women don't kiss me_!” complained Dorian. “My mother was never that affectionate! Neither was my wet-nurse or my nursemaid! My father would have drowned himself in a barrel of ale rather than kiss my mother! My mother would probably have murdered him if he ever dared to try!”

“Andraste's tits!” swore Sera. “I thought my childhood was shitty. You had it worse. A hoity-toity Mum and an arse for a Dad. You'd have been craving a good and proper snogging for ages”.

“I am not that desperate!”

“You chased down Bull”.

“I did no such thing!”

The Iron Bull grinned. “Actually, Kadan. Sera has it right”.

Dorian turned on him with a snarl. “ _She does not_!”

Bull shrugged.

Sera giggled.

Ellana took pity on poor beleaguered Dorian. She took his face in her hands and kissed his cheek again. Dorian spluttered and flushed scarlet when she kissed his brow too. Another tender peck on his nose made him smile. He was red-faced and flattered when she withdrew.

“You did that on purpose”, accused Dorian.

“Of course I did”, affirmed Ellana.

“Shrew”.

“Bookworm”.

Dorian smirked. “A woman after my own heart”. He offered her his hand, palm up, and splay-fingered. “Shall we cause a scandal at the Exalted Council?” His eyes twinkled when Ellana laid her hand in his.

“I will have to explain my tardiness”.

“Quite”, agreed Dorian. “The mussed sex-hair will get a few tongues wagging”.

Ellana rolled her eyes when her wolf growled. She ruffled his fur when he slid under her arm. She was amazed that he'd shrunk. He was larger than a mabari, but smaller than a horse. His red eyes and coal-black coat would frighten the bravest man. Fen'Harel was quick to praise the sly Tevinter mage.

_I like this shemlen. He's quick and clever, but has an honest heart. He would tarnish his own reputation to preserve yours. I am envious, vhenan. You inspire love and loyalty in your friends and followers in a way Solas never could._

“Ellana?”

She blinked owlishly at Dorian.

“Are you all right?”

Bull grimaced.

Sera frowned.

Ellana laughed nervously. “I'm fine! _Really_!”

“You don't look fine”, said Sera.

“She does look a little peaky”, agreed Dorian.

Bull gave the wolf a suspicious look.

“He was talking to you again”.

Ellana blanched.

“Who was talking to her?” asked Sera.

“I was”, declared Dorian.

“Not you”, corrected Bull. He nodded to the wolf at Ellana's side. “That fuzz-ball”.

“Dogs can't talk”, snorted Sera.

“He's not a dog”, reasoned Dorian. “He's a spirit masquerading as a wolf”.

“Oh, right. I forgot about that”, admitted Sera. “I suppose he could talk to Inky if he wanted too. He could probably keep it secret from us too. Solas was all elfy and magical, so that wolf is probably all elfy and magical too”.

Bull nodded. “Hey. That makes actual sense”.

Sera grinned. “I know right? Me making sense. It's scary”.

Ellana was ashen-faced when Dorian addressed Fen'Harel.

“So, can you talk?”

_Of course I can._

“Maker's breath!” cried Ellana. “I wish you'd shut up!”

_That was uncalled for, vhenan._

“It was not uncalled for! You arrogant snit!”

_Vhenan!_

“Don't you _vhenan_ me! Only Solas has the right to call me his heart! I fell in love with him not you! _Oh_! And you will not be sharing my bed!”

_I most certainly will._

“No you won't!”

_Vhenan. You carry my leash and wear my vallaslin. You are bound to me and I to you. You cannot go anywhere without me. Where you are, I will always be, in a perfect simple symmetry._

“Stop rhyming!”

_I can do more than rhyme._

Ellana snorted.

Her guardian gave her left hand a long slow lick.

_Solas always said I had a talented tongue._

“ _Venavis_!”

Ellana blushed when she realised her friends were staring.

“I'm not crazy!”

Sera giggled. “I bet he said something dirty”.

Dorian shared a concerned look with Bull.

“You knew about this”.

“Yeah”.

“And you didn't think to say anything?”

Bull shrugged. “I figured the Boss would drop herself in it sooner rather than later”.

“ _Bull_!” hissed Ellana.

“Sorry, Boss”.

Dorian tugged on her hand. “It's too late now my, dear. Come along. It's past time we returned to Val Royeaux. Lady Montilyet must be beside herself with worry”.

“You don't think I'm crazy”, gasped Ellana.

“Not in the slightest. Sera said it all. Your wolf is a spirit and spirits are magical creatures. Therefore it makes perfect sense that he converses with you. We may not be able to hear him, but you most certainly can”.

Ellana sniffed as Dorian led her through the Eluvian.

“You're wonderful you know”.

“Of course I am”, agreed Dorian. “Now let us go and cause a scandal that will make Divine Victoria blush a charming cherry-pink”.

* * *

**Elvish,** **Qunlat, and Tevene** **Translations: Courtesy of the Dragon Age Wiki**

* * *

Vhenan – _Heart._

Venavis _–_ _Stop._

Fen'Harel – _The Dread Wolf – The elven god of Rebellion, Betrayal, and Trickery._

Solas _– Pride._

Kadan _– Where the heart lies – Used by Qunari for someone they care about._

Kaffas _– Shit._


	16. Making an Entrance

Ellana heard the shouting from the hall. Cyril de Montfort, a courteous Orlesian, chastised his fellow delegate. Arl Teagan Guerrin, like all Fereldans, was loud, brusque, and demanding. Ellana scowled when the man threatened one of her friends.

“Enough! I will hear no more of your excuses Lady Montilyet! You will bring the Inquisitor before this Exalted Council or I will have you clapped in irons! Then we will see how tardy Inquisitor Lavellan is when one of her own sits in a dungeon! You will find the Orlesian cells just as dark and dank as those in Fereldan!”

Ellana was outraged by the audience's appalled gasps. She gripped Dorian's hand tight enough to bruise. He winced as she dragged him towards the door leading into the council chambers. The guards, armoured in gilded bronze, refused to let her pass when they saw what shadowed her steps.

A large wolf, black as night, loped at her side.

“Your, Worship! You cannot bring that beast in here!”

“ _He is not a beast_!”

Fen'Harel was quick to praise his beloved.

_I am flattered you think so highly of me, vhenan._

Dorian saw how Ellana's brows furrowed. The narrowing of her eyes, always so expressive, burned like hot coals in her face. She was furious. Dorian didn't like the way her mouth thinned. He could hear the grinding of her teeth.

He had to intervene.

Fast.

“Gentlemen”, coaxed Dorian. “You heard what Arl Teagan said. Now is not a good time to antagonise the Inquisitor. She's in a foul mood which will only get fouler the longer you delay her. Take my advice and get out of the way before she tosses you both into a rift”.

“She wouldn't dare attack us!” insisted one stalwart guard. “It is a crime to assault a man wearing the Lion seal of Queen Celene!”

Dorian cursed when Ellana thrust her left hand forward. He had seen Solas use the same gesture as he'd manipulated the Fade. The splayed fingers and swift grasping motion made the air come alive. Tendrils of shimmering emerald light coalesced around the Orlesian guardsmen. Dorian winced when Ellana's fingers closed tight.

The sudden snap of her hand, as if she were yanking on something, blew the guards off their feet. Dorian flinched when they crashed onto the floor. The clinking and clanking of their armour, scraping over the marble tiles, set his teeth on edge. He watched the poor men claw and screech as the magic of the Anchor dragged them away from the door. Ellana relented when they reached the opposite wall.

A nimble turn of her wrist and a second sharp gesture made the air ripple.

The guardsmen yowled as they rose high into the air.

Dorian winced when they flew towards a marble plinth.

He didn't hear Fen'Harel's teasing.

_Temper, temper, vhenan._

Ellana's fingers were curled tight into the palm of her left hand. Her fist shook with barely restrained fury. She scowled and unfurled her fingers. The guardsmen hovered in mid-air. They had stopped an inch from colliding with a marble statue of Andraste.

_You are beautiful when you are angry._

Ellana blushed and lowered her hand. The lapse in concentration made the guardsmen drop like stones. They toppled onto the floor again with a thunderous clang. Ellana grimaced when she heard their agonised moans. She looked over her shoulder at the twin heaps of gilded Orlesian armour rolling on the floor.

She felt the tiniest bit guilty when Dorian addressed them.

“If the Inquisitor had tossed you two through a rift. No one, but the spirits in the Fade, would have heard you scream. So the next time a handsome debonair gentleman asks you to get out of the way. Do yourselves a favour and follow his instructions. You're less likely to have a pounding headache afterwards”.

Sera snickered. “Serves 'em right for being idiots”.

“She has a point”, agreed the Iron Bull. “You did give them fair warning, Kadan”.

“Exactly”, confirmed Dorian. “And I did ask ever so nicely for them to let us be on our way. These poor fellows should should count themselves lucky. Our dear Inquisitor eviscerated Corypheus by opening a rift inside him. These lads got off lightly in comparison”.

Ellana groaned in annoyance. Sometimes her friends were terrible people. She'd unleashed a torrent of Fade magic on a pair of unsuspecting Orlesian guardsmen. Dorian was smirking along with Sera whilst Bull clucked his tongue in disapproval. The Tal Vashoth warrior was shaking his horned head too as he stepped over them.

“When you're asked to get out of the way. You get out of the way. You don't stand there and parrot about royal seals and non-existent protections. If this encounter didn't teach you two a lesson. The next time you find trouble you'll wind up dead”.

“Bull”, called Ellana. “There's no need to rub their stupidity in their faces”.

“It's the truth, Boss”.

“I know, but right now we need to rescue Josephine. That upstart Arl will not be clapping her in irons on my watch. If he does. He'll find himself wearing them instead. Threatening to imprison the Inquisition's ambassador is tantamount to a declaration of war”.

“You're not going to sack Val Royeaux right?”

“Of course not!” hissed Ellana. “But I am going to make Arl Teagan Guerrin regret his own foolishness”.

“Ah. Public humiliation”, chuckled Bull. “I can get behind that”.

“Me too”, giggled Sera. “Let's go hand his nuts to him on a silver platter”.

“I couldn't have said it better myself”, avowed Dorian.

Fen'Harel gave Ellana good counsel.

_Vhenan. Perhaps your burly friend could lend us a foot. It would make a most dramatic entrance if he kicked the door down. The noise alone will distract the Arl long enough for us to safely extract the lovely Lady Montilyet. Let us remind this upstart shemlen that he owes his life and title to the tireless work of two Dalish elves._

Ellana's eyes glinted. She glanced at the Iron Bull. A simple gesture to the ornate Orlesian-blue oak door made him grin. Bull sauntered past her with a jaunty spring in his step. He laughed as he leaned back, lifted a steel-shod foot, and gave the door a mighty boot.

The latch broke and the wood splintered.

The door flew open with a resounding bang.

All eyes turned toward them.

Bull bowed at the waist and gestured for Ellana to proceed him.

“After you, Boss”.

“Ma serannas”.

Ellana smiled when Dorian slid his fingers between her own. He gave her a doting look and guided her inside like the gentleman he was. Fen'Harel was on her heels as she crossed the threshold. He scanned the crowd and saw several gaping elven servants. Their incredulous staring confirmed where their loyalties lay.

_My brother's spies and their Qunari counterparts have seen you._

“Good”, said Ellana. “Let them see me for what I am”.

_You are the consort of Fen'Harel. My consort. My brother's spies will assume you belong to him. Their mistake will cost him dearly. He did not lie when he told you that I will not share what is mine._

* * *

  **Elvish,** **Qunlat, and Tevene** **Translations: Courtesy of the Dragon Age Wiki**

* * *

Vhenan – _Heart._

Ma serannas _–_ _My thanks_ _._

Fen'Harel – _The Dread Wolf – The elven god of Rebellion, Betrayal, and Trickery._

Tal Vashoth _– True grey ones_ _– Those that turn away from the Qun._


	17. Passing the Torch

Sera brought up the rear with a smug smirk on her face. She waggled her eyebrows at the Orlesian guards on either side of the broken door. A quick shake of her head stopped them from reaching for their swords. Sera whistled a merry tune and skipped passed them when Ellana strode forward. She was giddy with excitement as the crowd parted like two halves of an apple split down the middle.

"I bet you didn't expect to see us so soon", crowed Sera. She winked at the wide-eyed Divine seated between the Orlesian and Fereldan delegates. "Sorry we're late Vicky, but Inky had to stop a Qunari invasion. She could have let them kill you all, but she's not a sadistic bitch like Corifypiss. She wanted to save you ungrateful arseshats from another world-ending calamity".

Sera glared at the Fereldan delegate seated to the left of Divine Victoria.

"Yeah, I'm looking at you, Arl Tightarse Gunkface".

" _Sera_!" gasped the Inquisition's Ambassador. "Please! Such vulgarity is unnecessary even if it was said in my defence".

"Arl Arsehole threatened to have you shackled and thrown in a dungeon!"

"It was a jest uttered in a moment of distress".

" _Horseshit_! He meant every bloody word and you know it! _Stop_ _defending him_! You're worth twenty of that stuck-up prat! He's not fit to kiss the ground you walk on!"

Josephine glanced at the red-faced Arl Teagan. The man was trying to contain his rage. The name-calling drew snickers from the crowd. Ladies giggled into their silk handkerchiefs. Men feigned fits of coughing to hide their laughter.

Josephine gave the Divine an exasperated look when she cleared her throat with a hoarse _Ahem_.

The twinkle in her eyes belied her stern expression.

Cassandra was amused by Sera's cheek.

"It was a poor choice of words", agreed the Divine. "I am certain Arl Teagan was exercising his concern for Inquisitor Lavellan's safe return".

Josephine bit her lip when the Arl's nostrils flared. His right eye twitched as his face purpled. The man resembled a snorting bull ready to charge. He struggled to rein in his temper when Sera smirked and her audience laughed. The people of Val Royeaux thought he was a fool.

Arl Teagan shot to his feet and brought his hands down hard on the dais before him. The resonant slam, like a clap of thunder, silenced the sea of amusement. The crowd quietened when the Arl bared his teeth. He opened his mouth to bellow a scalding tirade until Ellana interrupted him. Her harsh command made Josephine gasp, Sera giggle, and Divine Victoria smile from ear to ear.

" _Sit down_ _and shut up_!"

"You dare!" spluttered Teagan.

" _I did not give you leave to speak_!" hissed Ellana. "Close that yawning chasm you call a mouth before you get yourself into more trouble". She nodded to those sharing the dais alongside him. "I beg your pardon, Divine Victoria. And yours, Lord Cyril de Montfort. I was delayed in returning to Val Royeaux due to unforeseen circumstances".

Arl Teagan sank back into his seat.

The laughter at his expense rippled through the crowd again.

Ellana's deliberate snub enraged him.

"Our dear Inquisitor is being overly modest", declared Dorian. He was quick to intercede on her behalf before the irascible Arl could vent his anger again. "Those unforeseen circumstances were armed with steel and magic. Both of which they used, frequently, to engage us in several bloody battles. We were victorious of course, due to our cohesion as a team, and our Inquisitor's leadership".

Sera cackled when Dorian gave Ellana an adoring look.

"Geeze, Sparkler", she teased. "Keep your shirt on. We don't need a repeat performance. Inky has impressive stamina for a girl. She's not even limping after that three-hour sex-fest".

Dorian sold the lie with a charming flush in his cheeks.

Bull rolled his shoulders and got the rumour-mill churning with a tired groan.

"You're not wrong. I can still feel the kinks in my back from all that twisting. Yeowch. I'm big not bendy. Flexibility is best left to Dalish women not their bedmates".

A hush descended upon the Exalted Council. The Lords and Ladies of Orlais and a dumbstruck Josephine gaped at Ellana. The Inquisitor shrugged her shoulders in a gesture of casual nonchalance. Divine Victoria's mouth fell open. A swift glance at Ellana's supposed lovers made her blush a charming cherry pink.

"That is why you were late?"

The Divine choked on her own spit when Ellana nodded.

"Fighting is thirsty work and almost dying makes a woman desperate to know that she's alive".

Ellana favoured Dorian and Bull with a shy smile.

"Without my friends I wouldn't be here right now".

Sera snickered.

Dorian smirked.

Bull winked.

Cassandra was red-faced when Cyril de Montfort proved to be more observant than most.

"That does not explain the markings on your face, or the presence of a wild wolf inside this chamber".

Several members of the crowd backed away when a large black wolf loped to Ellana's side. Some gasped and others gawked like children. Red eyes rolled, a pink tongue lolled, and white fangs were bared in a menacing snarl. Lord Cyril recoiled in his seat. Fen'Harel could smell his fear.

_So full of false bravado. If I leapt onto the dais he would piss himself. I suggest you end his curiosity before I do. My solutions to problems, vhenan, tend to result in death. I was named the Dread Wolf for good reason._

Ellana sank her fingers into Fen'Harel's ruff. His thick fur concealed the nails digging into the nape of his neck. Ellana petted him as if he were a tame mabari. Fen'Harel, playing the part, calmed under her touch. He whined in pleasure when she scratched a hard-to-reach place behind a furry lupine ear.

_Vhenan! Yes! Right there! Oh! That feels wonderful!_

Ellana smiled and her touch gentled. She thought of Marethari and the choice she'd made. She smelt the sweetness of the wildflowers in the air again. She heard the lullaby her parents had sung to guide her home. Ellana hummed the familiar tune of an old Dalish melody.

A wild red eye focused on her.

_You sing beautifully, vhenan. I wonder if you moan as sweetly too._

Ellana pinched a silky black ear.

_Fenedhis! It was a jest! Ouch! Stop twisting my ear! Vhenan!_

Fen'Harel's pained whine made Lord Cyril blanch.

"He was a gift from a friend".

"What kind of friend gives you a wolf?" asked an aghast Divine Victoria.

Ellana's face softened. "The kind that never wants you to be alone".

She looked Cassandra in the eye. They had been comrades once and friends too before her ascension to the Sunburst Throne. Ellana gave her a respectful nod. She had apologised for her tardiness and given an excuse. It was time to decide the fate of the Inquisition and her own before the Exalted Council.

"The Inquisition was formed to defeat Corypheus and close the Breach. We have achieved both goals and restored order to Thedas. I could disband the Inquisition, but I believe it is needed now more than ever. The Inquisition will serve as Divine Victoria's personal honour guard. We will answer to her as we transition from a military force to a peacekeeping organisation".

Ellana nodded when Cassandra smiled.

"The Inquisition will stand with you, Divine Victoria".

"The Inquisition", repeated Cassandra. "But not you?"

Ellana released Fen'Harel's furry black ear. She soothed his hurt with the tender stroke of her thumb. She heaved a sigh at the title Cassandra gave her. She had carried the hopes and dreams of the people of Thedas upon her shoulders for too long. It was time to relinquish that responsibility into hands more capable than her own.

"No", confirmed Ellana. "I will be retiring from service. A suitable successor will assume my place as the Inquisitor. I recommend Cullen Stanton Rutherford as a prime candidate. As a former Templar he understands the importance of the Chantry and the Divine to the people of Thedas".

Cassandra couldn't believe what she'd heard.

Neither could Lord Cyril.

Even Arl Teagan was startled by Ellana's announcement.

The audience of nobles, guards, and servants were stunned into silence.

"The time of the Herald of Andraste is over", said Ellana. "Once again I am just a humble Dalish elf. I bid you farewell. And I wish you all good health and a long life. May the Dread Wolf never haunt your steps".

She turned away with a final nod to the Divine. The crowd watched, full of apprehension, as she left the Exalted Council. Dorian followed her out. Sera did too. The Iron Bull moved towards Josephine, the crowd parting in his wake, as he ushered her toward the door.

"Come along, Ambassador. We're done here".

Josephine gave Arl Teagan a last parting look. "Yes. You are quite right. It has been a long and tiring day". She was flattered when Bull offered her his arm. Josephine accepted the gentlemanly gesture with a smile. She chatted with him as he led her away.

Divine Victoria watched the Inquisitor leave.

"She renounced her title", gasped an incredulous Arl Teagan.

"That she did", agreed Lord Cyril. "Though I doubt this is the last time we have heard of Lady Ellana Lavellan".

Cassandra wiped away the tears before they could fall.

"No it is not. Her legend will continue to grow as the Warden's did. I will miss her, but I am glad that the Herald of Andraste lives. I am certain the Maker has other work for her to do. If she must leave us now than it is only because she is being sent to do his will elsewhere".

"Is that what you believe?" asked Arl Teagan.

"With all my heart", replied Cassandra. "Ellana is just like the Warden. She was there, by the Maker's hand, when the world was darkest. She brought light and hope when many thought Corypheus would destroy Thedas. She closed the Breach and saved us all. If that is not a miracle, Arl Teagan, than how are we sitting here now?"

"You make her sound as if she were god-touched", concluded an awed Lord Cyril.

"Perhaps she is", admitted Arl Teagan. "Who are we to judge? Divine Victoria is right. Lady Lavellan was exactly what Thedas needed. She is overbold, but even I can agree that she is doing the Maker's will".

He frowned as the Inquisitor's pet lingered. The beast's tail wagged happily. Teagan wondered what magic the Dalish possessed that could tame a wild wolf. He had only ever seen a mabari welcome such friendship. The wolf followed Lady Ellana Lavellan silent as a shadow.

The beast paused in the broken doorway leading into the council chambers. Teagan was taken aback when it glanced over a furry black shoulder. Teagan's eyes widened when the wolf licked its chops. It seemed to be staring at him. Teagan swallowed nervously when its ears perked.

"Garas", called Ellana.

The wolf slunk off with a twitch of its shaggy black tail.

* * *

  **Elvish,** **Qunlat, and Tevene** **Translations: Courtesy of the Dragon Age Wiki**

* * *

Vhenan – _Heart._

Fen'Harel – _The Dread Wolf – The elven god of Rebellion, Betrayal, and Trickery._

Fenedhis _– An elven curse, likely translated to 'wolf crap' or similar._

Garas _– Come._


	18. Spies and Messages

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains coarse language. Discretion is advised.

Ellana walked the streets of Val Royeaux in the company of her friends. She ignored the open gaping of the townspeople. Lords and Ladies watched her from behind their gilded masks. Merchants, soldiers, and servants kept their distance. None dared approach her whilst she was under the Iron Bull's watchful eye.

Everything changed when they reached the quarter of the city occupied by Inquisition forces. Ellana recognised the symbol emblazoned on their banners. The open unblinking eye with lashes like rays of sunlight had been her coat-of-arms for years now. The wind blew and the banners fluttered. Ellana saw the same symbol etched into armour of the men and women serving the Inquisition.

Soldiers, scouts, merchants, servants, and spies alike shared a large bonfire. Seats and tables were hastily vacated as a hundred people leapt to their feet. They had heard the news as several crows took wing. Ellana saw the incredulity on faces young and old as she glanced from person to person. She spied Thom with his bushy beard and fresh-faced Loranil from Hawen's clan.

She was more likely to trust a shemlen like Rainier than one of her own kind.

Solas was predicable.

He favoured elves over humans.

Ellana gave Loranil a hard look when he baulked. He was pale and shaking when she moved towards him. He was staring at the vallaslin upon her face. The emerald lines in the shape of a wolf's head proclaimed her as a devotee of one god. Loranil, a dalish scout, and a herder of Halla, wore the vallaslin of the gentle Ghilan'nain.

Ellana saw the fear in his eyes. She lifted her hand to touch him. Loranil flinched and begged for mercy. The rush of garbled elvish confused the shemlen scouts and soldiers around them. The language of the Elvhen was as foreign to them as the native tongue of Orlais was to Ellana.

" _Venavis_!"

Loranil's mouth snapped shut at Ellana's command. He trembled when she raised her hand. A swift word in elvish made his eyes widen. Ellana beckoned him with a flick of her fingers. Loranil hesitated until he was the recipient of several suspicious looks.

"What are you frightened of, boy?" asked a gruff shemlen soldier. "It's the Lady Inquisitor calling you not some darkspawn brood-mother".

"Easy, Edoran", interceded Thom. "Leave the lad alone".

"I'll leave him alone when he starts following orders".

"I'm not the Inquisitor anymore", declared Ellana. "I know that Leliana sent the ravens".

"No piece of paper will be changing my mind", replied Edoran. "You'll always be the Lady Inquisitor to me. I hail from the Hinterlands. I know what you did for my kin. Keeping 'em fed and clothed through the winter saved a lot of lives".

Ellana was uncomfortable with the way he looked at her. His blue eyes seared her inside and out. Edoran saw a ray of sunlight in the darkness. A piece of the Maker's will given flesh and blood and bone. Ellana had similar encounters with other shemlen and city-born elves too.

They believed she, a simple Dalish elf, really was the Herald of Andraste.

"I did what was right", avowed Ellana. "And I'd do it again".

"I know you would. And I'm thankful for it. You've a good heart, Lady Inquisitor. Something our lad here has forgotten. If you'll be wanting words with him than he should be obliging after all you did for his Dalish clan too".

Edoran, a former blacksmith, was tall, blonde, and broad-shouldered. He towered over the shorter and thinner Loranil. A single nod from Ellana was enough. Edoran pressed a mailed hand between Loranil's shoulder-blades. A gentle push made the elf stumble.

" _Edoran_!"

"Don't you be barking at me, Rainier. Lady Ellana wants to talk to him. Elf or not the boy's got bigger ears than you and I. He wasn't using them to listen, so I helped him along. He's got no reason to be fearing her so why is he acting like a scared pup?"

Thom appealed to Ellana when Loranil shied like a Halla.

"I don't know what's going on here, but I don't like it. Leave the lad be. He's done nothing wrong".

Sera snorted.

"He's afraid of her, Beardy. He wasn't when he first met her and she had the mark of Mythal. A few new green lines to replace the old and now he's shaking like a leaf. I smell a rat even if you don't. Be quiet and let Inky sort him out".

Ellana's eyes narrowed. She had never suspected that members of her own people would have spied for Solas. Her lover, it seemed, had found some measure of acceptance among the younger Dalish. Now she understood why Loranil had been so eager to join the Inquisition. He was another set of eyes and ears, another spy, among hundreds of elven volunteers.

"Ma harel lasa", said Ellana. "Ma halani Fen'Harel".

Loranil refused to meet her gaze. He bowed his head in shame. He sniffed and his eyes glistened with moisture though he was too proud to cry. His upbringing like Ellana's was typically Dalish. Their people did not bend unless they were broken.

The apology, whispered in elvish, did not appease Ellana.

"Dirthara ma, Lethallin. Ma halam. Ar nuvenin ma ghilas".

Loranil groaned in relief. He was surprised by the show of mercy. He found his courage, lifted his head, and saw something that made him tense like a drawn bowstring. A wolf, black-furred and red-eyed, curled around Ellana's legs. Loranil's eyes widened in wonder when the beast permitted Ellana to lay her hand upon the crown of its head.

She petted him as a shemlen petted a mabari.

"Ar lasa mala revas", declared Ellana. "Ghilas, Loranil. Dirthera mir vhenan. Ir serannas fen'enansal. Ar tel'din'an sa'vunin".

Loranil looked beyond her into the busy streets of Val Royeaux.

"Ar ghilas?" he asked uncertainly.

Ellana nodded.

"Ir mirthadra, Fen'Asha".

Sera whistled when Loranil bolted like a skittish horse. He didn't need to be told twice. He ran through an open iron-wrought gate without a backwards glance. Sera was impressed Ellana had shown such restraint. She'd found a spy amidst the Inquisition forces and had allowed him to escape unharmed.

"You let him go".

"I did", confirmed Ellana. "He has a message to deliver for me".

Sera grinned. "I bet he does. Cheeky little shit. I can't believe he named you the She-Wolf. Every twerp that knows a lick of elvish will be calling you that from now on".

"So they will", agreed Ellana. "It holds a measure of truth".

Fen'Harel licked her fingers.

_You are clever and cruel, vhenan. The messenger may have his life for now, but that will change once he returns to my brother . Solas will know you discovered his spy and chose to be merciful. He will be forced to exact punishment for Loranil's clumsiness. His newest followers will learn, soon enough, that they are just as expendable._

Ellana ignored the unabashed gaping of the shemlen soldiers like Edoran. She scrutinised them, brows furrowing, when she spied the elves in their midst. Some wore vallaslin and were fellow Dalish. Others were the barefaced refugees from Alienages in shemlen towns and cities. None of them, just like Loranil, could meet her eye.

_Leave them to their shame, vhenan._

Ellana sighed, head shaking, as she slung an arm across Fen'Harel's broad back. He was right. She had sentenced Loranil to death. Solas would kill him as easily as he had Felassan. Ellana was too heartsick to care when Thom called her name.

She let Fen'Harel lead her through the crowd and back into the city.

"Ellana! _Wait_!"

Thom bristled when the Iron Bull caught his wrist in a thick calloused grey hand. A hard squeeze and he hissed in pain. Bull glared at the man who had once called himself Blackwall. He did not release him until Sera stepped between them. She tried to push them apart.

"Bull! Now is not the time to play bodyguard! Beardy! Back off before you get yourself killed!"

"Why did Ellana send Loranil away?" asked Thom. "Please! I just want to know what's going on here! First we hear the Exalted Council is over! Then we're told Ellana abdicated her position as Inquisitor! _None of this makes any bloody sense_!"

Sera groaned in frustration when Bull barked.

" _Parsharra_! She doesn't owe you an explanation!"

"You can't just expect us to accept the Exalted Council's decree!" insisted Rainier. "Ellana is the Herald of Andraste not some backwater swamp-witch with delusions of grandeur!"

"Bull!" cried Sera. "Maker's balls! _Don_ ' _t start a_ _bloody_ _brawl_!"

Bull scowled. He was starting to get angry. He glowered at the throngs of nervous soldiers, most were human, though he saw a handful of elves. Some cowered whilst others defiantly returned his scrutiny. Bull suspected some were Fen'Harel's spies, while others served the Qunari.

His people were adept at hiding in plain sight.

" _Josephine_!" bellowed Bull. "Handle this shit!"

Sera gaped when her grey-skinned friend released Thom. A hard shove sent the warden flying into Edoran. The soldier skidded in the dirt as he caught the warden around the middle. Thom wasn't light or easy to hold onto with the added weight of his armour. Edoran cursed till he was blue in the face when a flustered Lady Montilyet was brought before them.

Bull stormed away, grumbling to himself, as Josephine received a multitude of expectant stares.

"Greetings, everyone", she said carefully. "It is true that Lady Ellana has abdicated her place as the Inquisitor".

"Blasphemy!" cried an overzealous believer. "She's the Herald of Andraste! The Exalted Council can't just dismiss her! Lady Ellana has the Maker's ear! To turn on her is to malign his will and doom us all!"

Josephine grimaced when half-a-dozen voices exclaimed in support of the speaker. She was grateful when Sera drowned out their protests with a well-timed screech.

" _Shut it you_ , _gobshite_! The Exalted Council didn't dump Inky's arse on the street! She chose to stop being the Inquisitor! She walked away from it all 'cause she's tired of playing mother-hen to you lot! You're always asking for this and that and expecting her to jump ten feet in the air to do it! She's already got the weight of the world on her shoulders! She doesn't need your misery too! Give her a damned break and fight your own battles for a friggin' change!"

The soldier who'd bellowed his opinion shut his mouth.

His supporters gave each other anxious looks and held their tongues.

An uneasy hush settled over the crowd.

Josephine''s smile was tight.

"Thank you, Sera".

"I'm just telling them how it is".

"I appreciate your candour, but it would be best if I took over from here. Our people have questions of their own. I can put their concerns at ease and clear up misunderstandings. Perhaps you should see to Lady Ellana's comfort. I am certain she would enjoy your company".

Sera gestured to the throngs of unsettled people. All had dedicated their lives to the Inquisition. Some were templars, retired mercenaries, a few were merchants, and some were ordinary townsfolk. Sera saw as many street-rats among them as farmers, farriers, and bakers. The little people were just as worried as the big-wigs about their future security.

Not all of them had lands and homes to return too.

"You do that and I'll go find somewhere to get roaring drunk. After the day I've had, a flagon of ale to drown in, is about the only thing I want".

Sera groaned in annoyance when she saw Dorian.

"What are you still doing here?"

Dorian frowned. He didn't like her waspishness. He restrained himself from biting back with a scathing reply. He saw the weariness in Sera's face. There were bags under her eyes and her mouth was turned down unhappily.

"My amatus is like a bull on a rampage. When he's in that kind of mood it's better to stay out of his way. Don't bother looking for Ellana. Bull herded her towards the tavern. He's determined to get her washed, fed, and settled down for the night".

Sera snorted. "He's acting like he's her Dad".

Dorian nodded. "Yes. He tends to do that with his Chargers".

Sera grinned. "What are you doing to do then?"

Dorian smiled. "Why I'm going to get roaring drunk with you. If you don't mind a little company".

Sera snickered. She strode towards him arms swinging. She curtseyed before him and slipped her arm through his. Dorian laughed at her show of feigned nobleness. Sera was about as polite as a foul-mouthed sailor.

"Shall we go?"

Sera giggled. "Yeah". She threw a first into the air and yelled at the top of her lungs. "To the tavern where we can get pissed off our faces! Let's drink the bar dry!"

Dorian smirked and led her away like the gentleman he was. "Yes. Let's drown our sorrows".

* * *

**Elvish,** **Qunlat, and Tevene** **Translations: Courtesy of the Dragon Age Wiki**

* * *

Vhenan – _Heart._

Fen'Harel – _The Dread Wolf – The elven god of Rebellion, Betrayal, and Trickery._

Fenedhis _– An elven curse, likely translated to 'wolf crap' or similar._

Garas _– Come._

Shemlen _– Quick children – Elven term for humans._

Ma harel lasa _– You deceived me._

Ma halani Fen'Harel _– You helped Fen'Harel._

Dirthara ma, Lethallin. Ma halam. Ar nuvenin ma ghilas _– May you learn, Clansman. You are finished here. I want you to leave._

Ar lasa mala revas _– I give you your freedom._

Ghilas, Loranil. Dirthera mir vhenan. Ir serannas fen'enansal. Ar tel'di'nan sa'vunin _– Go, Loranil. Tell my heart. I am grateful for the wolf's gift. I did not die today._

Ar ghilas? _\- I can go?_

Ir mirthadra, Fen'Asha – _I am honoured, She-Wolf._

Fen'Asha _– Wolf-woman or She-Wolf._

Parsharra _– Enough._

Amatus _– A term of endearment used for one's spouse or lover. Likely means 'Beloved'._


	19. Discoveries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains coarse language. Discretion is advised.

"Bull, you don't need to babysit me".

"Just get in the tub and take a bath. I'll wait outside until you're finished".

Ellana scowled when Bull closed the door behind him. She knew he was standing guard outside the washroom. He'd been adamant about looking after her since the Exalted Council had ended. She regretted her decision to join the Chargers. Bull was already assuming the role of her Commander, although he seemed to be doting on her more than usual.

Krem had told her (with a twinkle in his eye) that Bull tended to mother his newest recruits.

" _ _He always looks out for the_ _newest additions to the_ _band. It usually takes them three to four months to really settle in if they don't run away screaming in the first week. You_ _'_ _re a special case though. The Chief has a real soft-spot for you. He's already acting_ _like he's your_ _worried father and_ _your_ _overprotective big-brother_ _all in one giant grey-skinned package_ _".__

"Real funny, Krem", muttered Ellana.

She sighed and started the slow process of unbuckling her armour. The greaves came off first followed by her belt, boots, coat, and bodice. The hose came off last as did her thick woollen socks. Her nose wrinkled when she smelt a day's worth of sweat. She wiggled her toes with a grimace and tossed her socks on the floor.

"Disgusting".

She was down to her small-clothes when she heard a splash. The folded screen across the room concealed the washroom's large copper tub. Ellana reached for one of her discarded daggers. She pulled the shining silverite blade from its sheath. She wondered where her rude wolf had gone as she slunk towards the screen.

She was relieved when she spied his shaggy outline through the embroidered panels. His fur shone like oil in the candlelight. Ellana crept around the edge of the screen. She was within feet of him and thought he might be drinking the water. She froze when she saw his black fur shrink inwards and his thick lupine legs grow long, slender, and supple.

Ellana gawked as her wolf shifted form. Her eyes were wide and her mouth agape when a man squatted beside the copper tub. He was naked. Ellana saw muscular buttocks and dusky skin the colour of newly turned earth. The waterfall of black hair cascading over his shoulders made her fingers itch.

Ellana's grip tightened on the hilt of her dagger.

The thick-fingered hand testing the water made her twitch.

"Too cold", said the man with a voice reminiscent of Solas.

His fingers glowed red for a moment as he cast a mild heating spell.

Ellana stared when curls of steam rose from the water.

"Ah. Much better".

The man paused as if sensing he was being watched. He glanced over his shoulder, a black eyebrow arched, as he regarded Ellana with a glinting red eye. He smiled at the sight of her shredded breast-band and filthy grass-stained underwear. He was pleased by her state of undress. His lips pealed back from his teeth in a wolfish grin when she blushed.

"Andaran atish'an, vhenan'ara".

Ellana gasped when she saw the pointed tips of his fangs. He chuckled when she lowered the blade of her dagger. She was staring at him as she skirted the edge of the privacy screen. She reached for him with a shaky hand, a look of anxiety on her face, as she wondered if she should touch him. She was amazed when he reached back and took her hand.

Calloused fingers entwined with her own.

A gentle encouraging tug and Ellana closed the distance between them.

She was soon kneeling beside him.

"You are surprised by my appearance".

Ellana nodded.

"Do you know who I am?"

Ellana bit her lip. She had a fair idea. She had seen her wolf shapeshift from lupine form to elven in the blink of an eye. It took more effort than she thought to put her suspicion into words. Dorian had always said _that to see was to believe_.

"You're, Fen'Harel".

He smiled again with a flash of white fangs.

"Very good, vhenan".

He saw her anxious expression.

"Are you afraid of me?"

Ellana studied the shape of his face. The angular cheeks, cleft chin, and pointed ears were familiar. Ellana would recognise that long nose, thick brows, and pair of wide-set eyes anywhere. The dusky tone of his skin and the mane of thick black hair were different. The colour of his eyes, not stormy-grey, but a deep wine-red set him apart too.

He was the inverse of Solas as different from her lover as night from day.

"You look like him", concluded Ellana. "I didn't think you would".

Fen'Harel snorted. "We are alike in face and form, but we are not the same".

"You said you were twins".

"Of a kind", he confirmed. "But the similarity between us ends there".

Ellana frowned. She was confused by his explanation. She knew he was a spirit, but she hadn't thought he'd be a man too. Cole was the only other spirit she knew of that had assumed human form. He seemed real enough, but he was odd too with his unnerving perceptiveness.

"I don't understand".

Fen'Harel took pity on her.

"You never answered my question. I will ask again. Are you afraid of me?"

Ellana shook her head. "No".

"Why not?"

Ellana's eyes filled with tears. "You stopped Solas from hurting me again". She sniffed. "You saved me when he wouldn't. How can I be afraid of you when you've always protected me?"

The tears trickled down her cheeks.

Fen'Harel regretted making her cry.

"Ir abelas, vhenan".

Ellana hiccuped at the sound of such sincere concern.

Solas had apologised too, but his voice had carried sadness not contrition.

Fen'Harel was surprised when she kissed him. His mouth opened on reflex and a hot tongue slid between his lips. He groaned when Ellana grabbed a fistful of his hair. Her fingers sank into the silky strands, winding tight, as she slid into his lap. Fen'Harel sucked her lower-lip between his teeth when she wriggled like a worm.

He bit her.

Ellana growled.

Fen'Harel grasped her shoulders and pushed her back.

" _Venavis_!"

"Ar nuvenin ma!" hissed Ellana.

"Nae", gasped Fen'Harel. "You are not ready".

He saw the desire reflected in her eyes. She was eager, ready, and willing. Now was not the time, he knew, for her to be doing things she would later regret. Fen'Harel wanted to become her lover, but not whilst she was pining for his brother. He would erase Solas from her heart, a piece at a time, and place himself there instead.

"What will we do then?" asked Ellana.

Fen'Harel laughed. "Bathe, my love. You stink worse than a dead horse".

Ellana giggled because he was right.

"You made the water hot".

"I did", said Fen'Harel.

She smiled shyly. "Do you intend to take a bath with me?"

Fen'Harel smirked. "Of course I do".

Ellana wiped her wet face and gave the water a longing look. "The tub is big enough for two".

"Then we should", teased her guardian as he reached behind her back. "Make the most of it".

A sly sleight of hand and he'd undone the clasp of her breast-band. Ellana shivered when he made short work of her ruined underwear too. He wasn't shy about sliding the stained strip of silk down her thighs. A teasing glide of his knuckle made her moan. Ellana smacked the hand trying to grab a handful of her arse.

"You turned me down!"

"I have changed my mind".

"No!"

"Vhenan!" grumbled Fen'Harel. "I have not lain with a woman in a thousand years!"

"You had your chance", said Ellana "You chose to be honourable instead of taking me up on my offer. It's your loss, Fen'Harel. You will be taking a bath with me and that is all. We will not be canoodling tonight until I'm ready".

"Fenedhis! You are so cruel!"

Ellana grinned from ear to ear.

"You have no idea".

Fen'Harel pouted unhappily.

Ellana reddened. She had never seen Solas look so put out before. Fen'Harel was adorable. His dusky skin and mane of black hair made him look like an unruly wolf-cub. He whined like one too much to her amusement.

"I said no!"

"Fine", he grumbled. "But I am still sharing your bed tonight".

"In wolf form", declared Ellana.

"Absolutely not!"

"I'm sharing the barracks with the Chargers. I don't have a private room. Bull can't see you like this".

Fen'Harel grinned from ear to ear.

"I think he would appreciate the view".

Ellana gave him an appraising look from head to toe.

"I know I am".

Fen'Harel laughed.

"You will make me blush, vhenan".

Ellana licked her lips.

"I doubt that".

"Truly?"

"I just know you have a filthy mind".

Fen'Harel grinned. "I do".

Ellana had to admit that he was right about Bull.

Her friend was pansexual and appreciated anyone with a nice arse.

Fen'Harel had that and everything else Solas did too.

"No", said Ellana. "You're not sleeping in my bed with me while you're a man".

Fen'Harel glared at her sullenly. "Fine. If you share the barracks with the Iron Bull's band I will sleep beside you in wolf-form. If not than I will share your bed in my elven form". He scowled when she bit her lip and reddened to the tips of her ears.

He hastily amended his earlier statement.

"Fine, vhenan. I will keep a blanket between us while you sleep. I would not want to offend your feminine sensibilities. You are a delicate flower. It would be unseemly of me to take advantage of your innocence".

" _Shut up_!"

"I will if you kiss me again", goaded Fen'Harel.

Ellana obliged him and he didn't say another word for an hour.

* * *

 **Elvish,** **Qunlat, and Tevene** **Translations: Courtesy of the Dragon Age Wiki**

* * *

Vhenan – _Heart._

Fen'Harel – _The Dread Wolf – The elven god of Rebellion, Betrayal, and Trickery._

Andaran antish'an, vhenan'ara _– Welcome to my safe-place, my heart's desire._

Ir abelas, vhenan _– I am sorry,_ _my heart._

Venavis _– Stop._

Ar nuvenin ma _– I want you._

Nae _– No._

Fenedhis _– An elven curse, likely translated to 'wolf crap' or similar._


	20. Teachers and Pupils

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains coarse language. Discretion is advised.

Ellana felt better after her bath. She would have cleaned and oiled her own gear if the Iron Bull hadn't stolen it out from under her nose. A few minutes to don fresh clothing and she'd returned to the washroom to find her gear gone. She'd found it later, after a panicked search, beside the tavern's hearth. Bull was cleaning metal and leather whilst Krem honed and oiled her silverite daggers.

Ellana watched them sullenly as she downed the last of her stew. She winced every time she heard the gravelly slide of her whetstone against metal. Krem was _trying_ to sharpen her blades careful as a mother tending her own child. The noise set Ellana's teeth on edge. She was annoyed that Bull had taken the initiative.

He had chosen to clean her gear without her permission.

Ellana was touchy about others touching her things.

Another noisy grind and her patience was at an end.

"You're not doing it right, Krem!" she cried. "Just let me take over and I'll sharpen the blades myself!"

She was trying to wriggle out of her seat when Bull barked.

" _Stay there_!"

Ellana froze like a mouse in the sight of an eagle.

Bull clucked his tongue disapprovingly.

"You promised to follow my orders. And I asked you to take it easy. Just eat a hot meal and get a good night's rest. No fussing. You should be relaxing while Krem and I see to your gear".

"But those daggers mean as much to me as my tools!" protested Ellana. "Only I know how to take proper care of them!"

She was disappointed when Bull shook his horned head.

"We're fine. Go back to your meal".

"But I can help!" insisted Ellana. "It'd be easy! I've cared for my daggers a thousand times! I need to restring my bow too! And check the fletching on my arrows!"

Bull gave her a long hard look.

"I said we're fine. Now sit there and eat".

Krem snickered when Ellana scowled.

"Sorry, but I do believe the Chief has spoken".

Bull grimaced.

"Krem! Don't rub it in! She's new to the band! You know we don't tease the new recruits! We want them to stay on with us not scare them off!"

Krem cleared his throat with a hoarse cough. "Ahem. I mean. Sorry, Chief. Er-I'll just go back to sharpening this dagger".

"You do that", grumbled Bull. "You kids these days. No manners. Honestly. If I wasn't the leader of this band you'd probably be out on the streets causing all manner of trouble".

Ellana retook her seat with a mumbled curse. She glowered at her half-filled bowl of stew. Her lip curled when Dalish fished out her spoon and offered it to her handle first. Ellana accepted it with a sigh and a muttered thanks in elvish. She resumed eating as if each spoonful was painful to swallow.

Dalish was full of advice tonight.

"It'll only get worse from here on out".

Ellana swallowed another mouthful.

"It starts with Bull cleaning your gear and then he'll be singing you a lullaby as he tucks you in for the night".

Ellana was horrified by her suggestion.

"I was joking, Lethallan!"

Ellana wasn't so sure. "You call yourself an archer when you're a mage".

Dalish smiled. "I'm not a mage".

"Liar. I'm an archer, a thief, and a locksmith. I know what a bow is because I use one. I've been inside the Fade more than once and I've had conversations with actual spirits. Several of my closest friends are mages so I know what I'm talking about".

"Do you now?" asked Dalish.

Ellana frowned when she leaned across the table. Her pale hair and eyes glinted in the firelight. The lime lines of her vallaslin marked her as a devotee of Dirthamen. The elven god of secrets and knowledge had safeguarded his share of magical mysteries. Ellana wondered if Dalish hoarded any of her own.

"And I suppose you know everything there is to know about that mark on your hand".

Ellana didn't like the way she cackled in the self-satisfied way mages tended too.

Knowledge of the arcane was their bread and butter.

"Or not", goaded Dalish. "He always did like to draw things out to the point of pain".

"He?" retorted Ellana. "Who are you talking about now?"

Dalish winked cheekily.

"Ma fen'elgar".

Ellana frowned when Dalish slid a thumb over a fishbone-shaped line on her cheek. A tiny point of her vallaslin smudged leaving behind a lime smear. Ellana stared when Dalish nodded to her bowl. The stew was lukewarm until the self-proclaimed archer rapped her fingers on the tabletop. A simple heating spell made the stew bubble.

"My clan's Keeper was a knowledgeable sort", Dalish told her. "And probably still is wherever he may be".

Ellana gasped. She recognised the subtlety of that spell. Fen'Harel had done the same thing inside the tavern's washroom to heat the water. She had spent the better part of an hour sharing an intimate bath with him. Ellana brought the spoon to her mouth.

She ate the last of her dinner in silence.

Dalish had given her plenty to think about.

When she was finished Ellana noticed another member of the Chargers badgering Krem. She was too dazed to care, her head full of questions, when Dalish took her empty bowl. A steadying hand upon her shoulder and Ellana was encouraged to leave her seat. She had a full stomach. Ellana leaned on Dalish as she was led past Bull, Krem, and an irascible Skinner.

"The Shewolf's right", groused Skinner. "You're doing it wrong".

"I know how to sharpen a blade", said Krem.

"A dagger is not a sword".

"It's close enough".

Dalish snickered when Skinner demanded Krem fork over his prize.

"It is not. Now give it to me".

Krem snorted, but didn't argue. He relinquished Ellana's silverite dagger, inscribed with dwarven runes, into Skinner's capable hands. Dalish was unsurprised when her friend snapped her fingers. Krem groaned in annoyance and gave Skinner the whetstone too. Dalish grinned when Ellana sighed in relief.

The unpleasant grinding was gone.

In its place was a silken whisper of steel on stone.

Skinner didn't hesitate to educate Krem on how to sharpen a dagger.

_Properly._

"This is how you sharpen a dagger. A whetstone is not a hammer, Krem. You don't grind the blade against the stone like you would a sword. A dagger should glide across it like silk. You have to watch the runes too, especially if they're fire like this one, or you'll charge them with heat".

"Charge them?"

Skinner struck a spark.

Ellana glanced over her shoulder. She saw the fire runes, engraved into the blade's spine, glow white-hot. A wave of searing heat made the air shimmer. Krem swore. Skinner teased her fellow Charger.

"You have to be just as careful with lightning and frost-runes too".

"Or let me guess", said Krem. "You risk frying something important or turning yourself into a snowman".

"Just so. An enchantment on a weapon like this is meant for the enemy. If you're stupid, well, than it's easy to kill yourself instead. Magic is dangerous, Krem. For a Vint, I'd thought you'd know more about this shit, but you're more ignorant than most".

"I've never owned a lyrium-inscribed weapon".

"Neither have I", revealed Skinner. "They're too expensive to buy and it's generally better to have one made for you instead. A normal dagger does the same job without all this magical bullshit. It's overkill if you ask me. Still, the Shewolf's blade, is a beautiful example of dwarven runework".

Skinner eyed Ellana.

"Dagna made this blade for you and did the runework herself".

"She crafted both daggers and my bow too", explained Ellana. "They're modelled after the Hakkon's Mercy daggers used by the Hakkonites. My bow is inscribed and reinforced with lyrium. Dagna replicated the design from an old schematic I brought back from the Deep Roads. The Sha-Brytol design for the longbow is a stroke of pure genius".

Skinner whistled her appreciation.

"You're one lucky bitch, Shewolf".

"That's not my name", growled Ellana.

"It is now", countered Skinner. "You can't travel with us under your birthname. Every prick from here to Tevinter will know who you are the moment they hear it. Those tattoos on your face will make the shems and city-elves think you're a dalish runaway. Your pet wolf will make them think twice about asking invasive questions".

Ellana's eyes narrowed. She studied the Iron Bull. He was listening to the flow of conversation. The knowing twinkle in his eye confirmed her suspicion. He had planned this from the moment she'd agreed to join the Chargers.

"Shewolf", repeated Ellana. "Really?"

"It's what Loranil named you", replied Bull.

"He called me Fen'Asha. It means Wolf Woman in elvish".

"I told you it wasn't a literal translation", reproved Dalish.

"It's close enough", stated Bull. "And considering the newest member of my band has a pet wolf. I think it'll do".

Ellana noted how he'd stopped calling her _Boss_. The title was so familiar it sounded odd not to hear it said in Bull's gravelly voice. Ellana wasn't sure if she liked the change. It would be difficult, she realised, not to take the lead anymore. She was used to running into battle with Bull on her heels not ahead of her like a seasoned mercenary captain.

"Fine", groused Ellana.

Bull was surprised by her capitulation.

"You're not going to argue?"

Ellana gestured around the room to the various members of the Bull's Chargers. Krem and Skinner were sharing a bench beside the hearth. Grim and Rocky were still at the table eating their dinner in companionable silence. Stitches was on a stool near Bull, nursing a mug of hot cider.

The company healer preferred to stay sober.

"If I did", deduced Ellana. "I'd get shouted down in a heartbeat".

Grim chuckled.

Rocky hid a smile behind his spoon.

Stitches grinned from ear to ear.

Skinner laughed.

Krem smirked. "Watch out, Chief. She's a sharp one".

"I did serve as a hunter, scout, and tracker for my clan", teased Ellana. "If I wasn't smart enough to know when I was beat. We would have starved every winter. Besides, I lived my entire life with Clan Lavellan. I know from experience when it's pointless to start an argument I can't win".

"Locked horns with your Keeper did you?" asked Bull.

"All the time", affirmed Ellana. "Deshanna always said I was like a druffalo".

"Stubborn?"

"No. Druffalo are gentle creatures until you do something to annoy them".

"Ah", said Bull. "Like pulling out a sword or shooting arrows".

Ellana nodded. "Then the druffalo charges".

"And you run like hell".

"If you're smart".

The Chargers watched their Chief and Ellana banter. They were tense, anxious, and quiet. It could go either way. Bull was their friend and leader. Ellana was the Herald of Andraste and the retired leader of the Inquisition.

The Chargers wondered if there would be a fight for control of the band.

Bull hadn't defeated Corypheus.

Nor could he close rifts in the Fade.

"So", Bull broached the issue with an air of casualness. "You'll put your horns down like a druffalo then?"

"If you'll let me", remarked Ellana.

Bull gave her a winning smile.

"Course I will. I'm not that much of a hardass. It will screw up our group motto though, but so long as you know what it means. I can let the _horns down_ thing slide. For now you'd best get back to that wolf of yours before he starts tearing the bed apart".

"I was lucky the taverner allowed me to bring him inside", admitted Ellana. "He wasn't too happy despite my reassurances that his patrons wouldn't get eaten".

"It got us free food and board for a week", Bull declared with a straight face. "I'm not complaining. Once word gets out that the Inquisitor stayed here that stuffy old man's business will treble. We've filled his coffers for a good twelve months and more. He'll probably rename this place after you".

Ellana grimaced. "Maker's balls. I hope not. It was hard enough drinking inside the Herald's Rest in Skyhold. The way Maryden kept looking at me while she sang made me wonder if she'd write a song about me too".

"I think she did", recalled Dalish. "Something about taking back the sky and you leading us to even the score against Corypheus. Which you did. So I guess the bard was right. Odd that it's like she has a seer's sight".

Ellana groaned. "Sometimes I hate that woman. No wonder seven people wanted to kill her. Andraste's knickers. I'd have broken her lute too if I wasn't afraid she'd have sung a song about it".

"It was good for me and the Chargers", quipped Bull. "You couldn't have drunk all the beer, mead, and wine people bought you. We drank for free for months. It was great. Again, Shewolf, I wasn't complaining".

Ellana struggled to keep a straight face when Dalish took her by the elbow. She bid Bull a fond farewell as she was ushered upstairs. She'd intended to bed down with the Chargers, but the taverner had insisted she have a private room. Bull had accepted the man's hospitality when he'd waived their fee too.

Dalish knocked on the door.

Ellana was unsurprised when she heard an irritable bark.

"You'd best go in", advised Dalish. "He sounds a bit tetchy".

Ellana rolled her eyes when an even more irritable voice barked inside her mind.

_Vhenan! Come inside at once! I cannot believe you left me in here all by myself for an hour! I was so worried! You will cuddle with me for the rest of the night in recompense!_

"I'd rather stay out here", grumbled Ellana.

_You will not!_

Dalish turned the doorknob and pushed the door open. She snickered when she spied a naked elven man lying in the middle of the room's only bed. He was wrapped in blankets and feigning reading a book. The tome was open in his lap, but his eyes weren't on the page. He was gazing across the room at Dalish and his beloved lurking in the hallway.

Fen'Harel smiled at the sight of his former student.

"Aneth ara, da'len".

Dalish bowed her head in respect. "Aneth ara, hahren".

Ellana gave her a hard shove. Dalish stumbled inside with a curse. The retired Inquisitor was quick to shut the door. She leaned against the wood panelling and glowered at the elves sharing her room. Fen'Harel hadn't told her he had spies of his own.

" _You know each other_?"

"We do", confirmed Fen'Harel. "Arille was once my pupil".

" _Your pupil?_ " hissed Ellana. She rounded on Dalish. " _Your name is, Arille_?"

"It is", answered Dalish. She eyed her mentor. "You set the wards?"

"Of course I did".

"Just checking, hahren".

"I am several thousand years your senior, girl. Mind your manners".

Dalish grinned whilst Ellana fumed.

"It's good to see you, hahren".

Fen'Harel smiled. "And you, da'len".

" _Someone better tell me what's going on here_!" demanded Ellana.

Dalish winced. "Is she always so shrill?"

"She is", affirmed Fen'Harel. "If not for the silencing wards she'd have this tavern in an uproar".

"Probably".

" _Stop talking about me like I'm not here_!" snarled Ellana.

Dalish regarded her teacher. "We should put her out of her misery".

Fen'Harel sighed. "Indeed. She is getting awfully moody".

"You first?"

"I suppose we do have to start somewhere".

"The beginning would be a good place!" hissed Ellana. "Maker's breath! How do you know each other?" She glared at Dalish. "Are you even one of my people? I already know your vallaslin is fake!"

"A glamour", explained Dalish. "It's simple magic".

"My Keeper and her First didn't know magic like that", argued Ellana.

Dalish smiled impishly. "They weren't trained by the Dread Wolf".

Ellana gaped at her. "You're somniari".

Dalish shook her head.

"I dream like all mages, but I'm no dreamwalker. I can't flit around the Fade like a bird. I prefer to stay firmly rooted like a tree. Spirits can get pushy if you let them. You're more somniari than I'll ever be".

Ellana didn't like way Fen'Harel smirked.

"Don't get any ideas".

"I would not _dream_ of it, vhenan".

Ellana scowled.

"Ass".

"My love".

" _Stop calling me that_!"

"It is the truth. Would you prefer I lie?"

"No".

"Ah", laughed Fen'Harel. "So you like me fawning over you. Very well, ma vhenan. I will continue to love you as I always have. I am rather fond of making you blush too".

Ellana huffed in silence.

Fen'Harel preened like a cockerel. He enjoyed needling his beloved. She was such a delightful spitfire. It was a pleasure to stir her embers until she blazed in outrage. It amused him to think Solas would have had his hands full trying to keep her fiery nature contained.

"Hahren!" scolded Dalish. "Stop baiting her! You'll drive her to distraction. We need to focus on what's important. Fen'Asha wants clarity so we'd best start by clarifying a few things".

She shared a conspiratorial look with Fen'Harel.

"Very well", he agreed. "From the beginning. Come and sit with me, vhenan. No doubt. You have many questions. Arille and I will answer what we can tonight".

"And tomorrow?" urged Dalish.

Fen'Harel's red eyes glinted. "We plan".

Ellana swallowed nervously when both elves glanced her way.

"To do what?"

Dalish gave her a calculating look. "To save the people of Thedas".

* * *

**Elvish,** **Tevene, Qunlat** **Translations: Courtesy of the Dragon Age Wiki**

* * *

Ma fen'elgar _– Your wolf-spirit._

Fen'Asha _– Wolf Woman – Loosely translated as Shewolf._

Aneth ara _– Welcome to my safe place. A Dalish greeting._

Vhenan – _Heart._

Ma vhenan _– My heart._

Solas – _Pride._

Da'len _–_ _Little one._

Fen'Harel – _The Dread Wolf – The elven god of Rebellion, Betrayal, and Trickery._

Hahren _– Elder – A term of respect for an older person, usually a teacher or mentor. Also used by the City elves to address the leader of an Alienage._


	21. Differences

Hours had passed since her return to Val Royeaux. Ellana was reeling from the wealth of information Fen'Harel and Dalish had shared. The moon was high in the sky, round and waxing, a silver-white disc in the darkness. Ellana watched it from her room's small glass window. It was likely well past midnight.

Each revelation had led to another until her mind was full to bursting.

"You were the first spirit Solas encountered when he was a child".

She heard Fen'Harel sigh. The slow exhale of his breath was heavy with guilt. It had hurt him to admit that his first and oldest friend had betrayed him. Ellana couldn't believe that he was complicit in all Solas's earliest endeavours. His rise to power in Arlathan, the courtship of Mythal, and the claiming of a place amidst the Evanuris.

"I came to him in a nightmare", said Fen'Harel. "He cried for help as he struggled to defend himself from my more aggressive kin. He drew spirits in like moths to a candleflame. He was somniari, a dreamer, without equal. I have never known a child of the Elvhen to have such raw talent in their ability to shape the Setheneran".

"Solas was unique", deduced Ellana.

"More than unique", insisted Fen'Harel. "He is the most gifted somniari born in the past five thousand years".

Ellana swallowed thickly. It was hard to believe that her mild-mannered lover was Thedas's most powerful dreamer. Solas had always found her fascination at odds with his own experiences with the Dalish. She had been open-minded and willing to listen when her own people had not. Ellana hated that she hadn't seen through his thinly veiled disguise.

All the clues had been there.

Solas had admitted, more than once, to exploring the Fade. He had shared his many exploits with her. She remembered a sunken dwarven city and a lonely spirit chasing away human tribes. Ellana recalled the night she'd fallen asleep inside her quarters high above Skyhold. She'd visited Haven with him in a dream and they'd shared a kiss under a glowing winter sun.

"He never lied to me about what he was", declared Ellana. "Not once even if he never called himself somniari. He only told me that he liked to sleep in ancient ruins and explore the Fade in his dreams. I always thought he was just an odd little hedgemage Cassandra found under a rock somewhere. I never considered, for a single moment, that he was something so much worse".

Ellana endured the tense silence. She inhaled a shaky breath as the tears welled in her eyes. She had cried so much already. What was another round of sorrow? The tears trickled down her cheeks in glistening lines.

She smelt the tang of salt as the droplets beaded on her lips.

She could taste her own foolishness.

It was colder than ice and smelt like the sea.

"I was so gullible. I believed everything he said without question".

"Vhenan", soothed Fen'Harel. "You are not at fault here".

"He lied to me. He used me. He abandoned me. And I let him do it. You have no idea how violated I feel".

Ellana's breath caught in her throat when Fen'Harel corrected her without hesitation.

"You forget. Solas did the same to me and I was his first friend and teacher. I guided him along the path of the Vir Thenerasan. I guarded him as we explored the farthest reaches of the Setheneran together. I introduced him to my fellow spirits. I told him their names, explained their natures, and taught him how to interact with them safely".

Ellana stiffened when a pair of arms slid around her waist. She hated how strong he was, how loving, and understanding despite everything he'd lost. She smelt the spicy sweetness of sandalwood and cinnamon again. She hiccuped and tried to tear herself away from him. She took a single stubborn step before she was dragged back into the circle of his embrace.

" _Let go of me_!"

"Nae".

Ellana beat at his hands and wrists. Fen'Harel held tight. She curled her fingers into claws and scratched at his dusky skin. He ignored the pain and held firm. Ellana would gladly have disembowelled him had she been armed.

" _Venavis_!"

"I will not".

Fen'Harel turned his face into her neck. He closed his eyes and inhaled her scent. She smelt of wildflowers in bloom, of peace and serenity, of light in the darkness of his despair. She was more than the Herald of Andraste. She was the woman he loved.

Ellana embodied everything he treasured in Thedas.

She meant the world to him.

"You are mine and I am yours".

" _You'll just hurt me like he did_!"

Dalish bristled, but held her tongue. She disliked Ellana's presumptuousness. She understood pain and hurt and suffering too. She had lost her mother during the years of the rebellion before the fall of Arlathan. She'd never reunited with her mother's kin in the aftermath.

Their misguided loyalty to Mythal had bound them to a life of seclusion.

Dalish wasn't sure if her obstinate uncle was still alive.

"I promise you, with all my heart, that I will not", soothed Fen'Harel.

" _You're his brother_!" accused Ellana. " _His twin_!"

"I am", agreed Fen'Harel. "But I am not Solas. I value all I have. I do not cast it aside as he does. When he thought to create the Veil, I begged for him to reconsider, and still he did what we both knew was wrong".

Fen'Harel's grip on her tightened.

"Solas destroyed everything we had fought for. The rebellion faltered because he refused to do what I and thousands of others were willing too. The Evanuris rose against us and we took up arms. Sword, bow, spear, and shield. We would have fought and died in a war that would have shaken Thedas to its foundations".

Dalish's anger softened when Ellana keened.

"No! If you had died I would be alone now! My clan is gone! Solas has left me! I cannot lose you too!"

"You will not", Fen'Harel assured her. "I will always be here with you".

"Had Solas given our people a chance", he said sadly. "Had he let us choose our own fates. Our deaths would have been clean. Our children might never have been born, but at least they would have been spared a life of slavery. Solas gave them that and a legacy of lies and betrayal when he created the Veil".

Dalish sighed.

"Our deaths would have been as clean and pure as freshly fallen snow".

Fen'Harel nodded.

"Once. Now those Elvhen still alive, like you and I, watch our descendants wither and die. They live in ignorance, knowing nothing of their forebears, but the lies of the Evanuris. Solas destroyed everything we fought for with one act of selfishness. I will never forgive him".

"You are not to blame", murmured Dalish.

Fen'Harel's eyes narrowed.

"Solas made your mother's sacrifice meaningless".

"She was a casualty of war".

"She trusted him with her life and yours!"

"Hahren!" hissed Dalish. "Her death was not your fault!"

"Everything Solas has done", spat Fen'Harel. "Is my fault".

Ellana remembered Adamant, the red-lyrium dragon, and falling into the Fade. The landscape had been broken and twisted. The stuff of nightmares. Spirits had wandered, aimless, across fields full of rubble. She recalled the graveyard and the gravestones with the names of her companions.

"Solas", she whispered. "Is afraid of dying alone".

"He is, ma vhenan", confirmed Fen'Harel. "Even the strongest of us has a weakness. My brother is afraid of loneliness".

"What are you afraid of?" asked Ellana.

"Losing you".

Ellana's throat was tight.

"You barely know me".

Fen'Harel kissed her cheek.

"I have always known you".

" _Hahren_!" snapped Dalish. "Focus! Fen'Asha deserves to know the truth! Tell her what her lover would not! Tell her what _really_ happened!"

Fen'Harel sighed.

"The rebellion against the Evanuris failed because Solas floundered. All of our work, months of preparation, and Mythal's death ended it all. Solas was enraged when Elgar'nan ordered his capture and execution. The rebels were willing to fight for him, but he discarded their loyalty for justice. My brother wanted revenge not war and so he fashioned the Veil without our knowing".

Ellana turned to Fen'Harel, eyes wide, and brows furrowed. He searched his wine-red eyes for the truth. She found it when he pressed his brow to hers. The bond they shared through the Anchor was more than a leash. The vallaslin of Fen'Harel was but one channel of a river that flowed between them like water.

_I will show you the day my brother betrayed me._

Ellana gasped as she was drawn inside his mind. The walls of the tavern and the world fell away. She saw the sun and moon rise and fall in a churning sea of black and blue. The clouds were silver-grey foam on an ever-changing tide rolling in and out. A hundred days, a thousand, a hundred thousand, a million, and more backward.

She returned to a single day, thousands of years ago, that changed Thedas forever.

* * *

 **Elvish,** **Tevene, Qunlat** **Translations: Courtesy of the Dragon Age Wiki**

* * *

Solas _– Pride._

Fen'Harel _– The Dread Wolf – The elven god of Rebellion, Betrayal, and Trickery._

Vhenan _– Heart._

Setheneran _– The Land of Waking Dreams – aka the Fade_

Vir Thenerasan _– The Way of the Dreamer._

Venavis _– Stop._

Nae _– No._

Ir abelas _– I am sorry._

Da'len _– Little one._

Ma vhenan _– My heart._

Hahren _– Elder – A term of respect for an older person, usually a teacher or mentor. Also used by the City elves to address the leader of an Alienage._

Vallaslin _– Blood writing. A special dye used to tattoo the patterns, sigils, and so forth of various members of the elven pantheon onto the face. Used by the Dalish elves._

Evanuris _– The mage leaders of the elves before the Fall of Arlathan. Banished by Fen'Harel._

Fen'Asha __– Wolf Woman – Loosely translated as Shewolf.__


	22. The Place Where the Sky is Kept

Ellana found herself inside a dark room. She stumbled blindly to the nearest wall, fingers sliding across cool stone. Her nails dug into rough crumbling mortar. She felt her way along, toes testing the ground underfoot. She took one cautious step after another.

She dared not call out even as the floor rose at a steep angle. She bumped her shins with a curse and found the first step of a stone stairway. Ellana squinted in the darkness. She couldn't see in front of her own face. There were no torches, candelabra, or sconces embedded in the stone.

There was no welcoming glow of candleflame.

Ellana frowned when light glittered between her fingertips. She studied her left hand, the skin tingling, as wisps of Fade magic swirled around her like fog. She turned her hand over, exposing her bare palm, and spied that familiar glowing wolf's head. The eyes glittered like twin points of starlight.

"I suppose this will have to do".

Ellana thrust her hand into the air. Emerald light spilled from her skin dispelling the darkness. She looked around herself, eyes narrowing, as she saw a large stone chamber. The walls were built from slabs of stone, large and small, sealed together with thick lines of mortar. The layers were uneven as if the mason had gone for practicality over aesthetics. Ellana was reminded of Skyhold in that moment.

The walls of the fortress and its smaller outbuildings had been fashioned in the same manner. Pragmatism over artistic beauty. Ellana could understand the appeal. Skyhold had been built to withstand a siege. Ellana paused when she heard the rush of flowing water. She moved through the chamber, left hand held high, to illuminate a lofty stone ceiling.

She gasped when the floor suddenly gave way. She jumped back to avoid falling into a pit full of slick, wet, and raging water. Ellana glanced back the way she'd come. She looked left and right and saw planks of splintered wood, and cells sealed with iron bars. She was inside a dungeon hidden in the bowels of a fortress.

"I know this place".

Ellana spun on her heel and raced across the chamber. She found the steps and took them two at a time. She bolted up the stairway, left hand raised high to light her way. The corridor meandered left than right like a corkscrew until it ended at a large wooden door. Ellana flicked the latch, pushed it open, and found herself inside a courtyard.

"It can't be!" she cried.

The sun glowed round and bright in a hazy blue-grey sky. Grass swayed in a cool autumnal breeze. Red and gold leaves skittered across the ground like spiders. The long skeletal branches of sleepy trees, bare to the bough, shivered in the chilly wind. Ellana walked into the sunlight, rubbing her arms, as she felt the cold seep through her thin sleeves.

"What in the world am I wearing?"

Ellana gaped at the shimmery material clinging to her arms. It was soft, sheer, and hung in mossy rivulets from her wrists. She saw a darker skirt billowing from her waist like mist as the wind ruffled its opalescent hem. Ellana twirled in a circle, eyes wide, when the skirt flared around her ankles. She was surprised to find her feet were in velvet-slippers rather than leather boots.

She felt naked without her armour.

"Fenedhis lasa!" cursed Ellana. " _I hate it_!"

She patted a snug emerald bodice embroidered with silver and gold thread. Ellana tore at the neckline running low across her collarbone. The décolletage was modest, holding in her cleavage, without exposing anything embarassing. Ellana slid her fingers under the hem and groped left than right.

She cursed when she couldn't find a hidden sheath.

"Not even my breast knife!"

A frantic pat of her ribs and a deliberate flexing of her shoulders revealed that her harness was gone too.

"No bow and quiver! No daggers either!"

She grabbed fistfuls of her skirt and yanked the silken material up and over a muscled calf. Ellana groaned in frustration when she didn't find a sheathed blade belted to her leg. She flipped her skirts, switching sides, and exposed a similar bare muscled thigh. Nothing. She checked her ankles too searching for two braces of throwing knives.

Nothing.

Ellana hated the sight of her feet clad in green velvet rather than hard travel-worn leather.

"This is terrible!" cried Ellana. " _I_ ' _m unarmed_!"

"Of course you are, vhenan", teased a familiar voice. "You are inside my mind and memories not the waking world. Here things are as I want them to be not as they should be. You are in a dress to show off your lovely figure. I am garbed as a warrior in hopes of impressing you".

Ellana saw five dusky bare toes and a Dalish-style boot covering a muscular shin. She recognised the pattern of overlapping triangles woven by strips of hard brown leather. She followed the line of a leg, spying a dusky knee, and a thigh wrapped in grey-green hose. She blushed when she saw the bulge of his crotch accentuated by the material. It fit snugly under a loincloth made from leather woven in the same triangular style as his boots.

Ellana heard the smile in his voice.

"My vhenan likes what she sees".

She gulped and glanced from his braided loincloth to a brown suede jerkin. Her gaze lingered on the iron buckles wrought in the shape of a wolf's head. Her brows furrowed when she spied leather pauldrons with silver fastenings. A naked brown throat bore a simple silver torque. Ellana scowled when she saw his grinning face.

His red eyes were crinkled at the corners. His cheeks were dimpling. He was trying very hard not to laugh at her reaction. She wasn't pleased by his choice of garb. He resembled a Dalish warrior and she was stuck wearing a noblewoman's silk skirts.

"You ass! _I hate dresses_! They're impossible to fight in!"

Fen'Harel chuckled.

"You look beautiful, vhenan".

Ellana huffed. "Stop gawking at me!"

Red eyes glinted and a black brow arched. "You are the one showing me a decent amount of leg. To be honest, vhenan. It is a hard thing not to stare at such perfection. You are very lithe and muscular for an elven woman".

Ellana snorted and dropped her skirts. She wasn't a wilting flower like those Orlesian dames. She didn't care if a man stared long and hard at her bare legs. He'd find himself with a kick in the pills if he dared to touch her uninvited. Ellana rolled her eyes when Fen'Harel pouted.

Her emerald skirts once again pooled around her ankles. He couldn't see a thing or so she thought. A series of hurried steps in his direction. A goofy male grin and his intense focus on her striding legs made her aware of something scandalous. Her dark emerald skirts were as sheer as the shimmery moss-like material clinging to her arms.

A cursory look made Ellana realise that Fen'Harel could see the outline of her legs. A flash of sunlight revealed her crotch and the pale shape of her silk underwear too. She folded her arms across her chest, head held high, and imagined herself in leather and steel. She was irritated by Fen'Harel's disappointed groan. Her dress darkened as it shifted from silk finery to dark leather trimmed in silverite scale.

"Vhenan!" complained Fen'Harel. "We are inside my memories! Will you not indulge me this once? I would have you in a dress not armour! What you wore before was a fine example of ancient elven fashion!"

Ellana lifted her chin and glared at him mulishly.

"No".

" _Vhenan_!"

"I am not of the ancient Elvhen", she reminded him. "I am Dalish. I was raised a hunter, scout, and warrior. I have worn leather, iron, and steel my entire life. You will respect my decision to wear armour, inside the sanctity of your mind, or I will leave it and you behind".

Fen'Harel sighed when a door materialised behind her. Even here, within the confines of his being, she held sway. He frowned when he heard the familiar click of an iron-wrought latch. The door was iron-banded oak like all those in Skyhold. It swung open behind Ellana offering her an escape route.

"You are right", conceded Fen'Harel. "You are not of the ancient Elvhen. Forgive me, vhenan. I meant no offence. I wanted to lighten the mood by staring at your lovely legs before I relived my worst memory".

He was surprised when Ellana's face softened. He was relieved when she ignored the open door and swiftly closed the distance between them. The door closed with a snap and dissolved into thin air as if it had never existed. Fen'Harel was pleased when she stepped into his arms. He sighed in contentment when she pressed her brow to his.

A single gentle look and the knot of regret inside his chest unravelled.

"Ir abelas", apologised Ellana. "I don't want to hurt you, but I need to see how all of this started. I don't blame you for what Solas became. You saved him, Fen'Harel, just like you saved me. I will not forget your kindness like Solas did nor will I condemn you for the mistakes he made".

Fen'Harel gasped at her words. He took her face in his hands and marvelled when he saw her expression. Her eyes were sad, her brows arched, and her mouth turned down unhappily. She felt genuine sympathy for him. Fen'Harel trembled when Ellana cupped his cheek.

"What's wrong?"

"It is a strange thing after so long a time to find something I never expected".

"And what did you find?" asked Ellana.

Fen'Harel smiled. "Understanding".

"So did I".

"Vhenan. You are too kind".

"It's true", affirmed Ellana. "When you're not being an ass. You are wonderfully sweet and kind. It's a pity you tend to ruin that soberingly good image by insulting people. You have a terrible tendency to be cheeky".

Fen'Harel laughed. "It is part of my natural charm".

Ellana groaned. "You're hopeless".

"I am hopelessly in love with you".

Fen'Harel quietened when Ellana pressed a finger to his lips. She gave him a stern look. Her eyes narrowed when she heard shouting. She glanced across the courtyard to a broad stone stairway. It spiralled upwards to a stone landing leading to two gargantuan iron-banded oak doors.

"Why are we in Skyhold?"

Fen'Harel nodded to the fortress looming over them.

"We share a bond, vhenan. My memories are influenced by your own. None of this stood here when I walked these lands with Solas. The fortress you call Skyhold was built by the shemlen thousands of years later. We see it now because this is Tarasyl'an Tel'as as you know it".

Ellana gave the fortress a thoughtful look. This place had served as a haven for the Inquisition. High walls and deep stony foundations had sheltered her people from Corypheus. Ellana had thought of it as a second home after the death of her clan. Cast adrift in her grief, the Inquisition had been her anchor, and harbour of safety as she'd mourned.

"Tarasly'an Tel'as", repeated Ellana. "Morrigan said it was the place where the sky is kept".

Fen'Harel chuckled. "Close. More accurately it means – The place where the sky was held back".

Ellana reddened. "My elvish is a little rusty".

"It is _very_ rusty", corrected Fen'Harel. "Your pronunciation is terrible".

Ellana glowered at him.

" _You know that's not my fault_!"

"I know, but it is still true. Your pronunciation _is_ terrible. When you speak our mother-tongue you sound like a yowling cat. It is painful to hear, vhenan. Our language is melodic not grating like gravel crunching underfoot".

Ellana's lip curled. She pinched the pointed tip of Fen'Harel's elven ear in retaliation. She snorted when he yelped. She ignored his hasty apology and laid her hands on his chest. A hard shove pushed him backwards but not off balance.

Fen'Harel had always been sure-footed.

"We were having a romantic moment!" spat Ellana. "Why did you have to ruin it by insulting me?"

"Solas is a liar. I am not".

" _Oh_! You are such an ass! Fine! If my elvish is so terrible than my kissing must be too! You are not sharing another bath with me ever again!"

Fen'Harel gaped when she stormed towards the fortress.

"Vhenan! It was a jest!"

" _No it wasn't_!"

"Do not be angry!"

" _Too late_!"

Fen'Harel pouted when Ellana reached the foot of the stone stairs. He looked down at himself. His garb, taken from her memories, had been carefully chosen to impress. The braided leather, silver buckles shaped like a wolf's head, and toeless boots were typical of Dalish fashion. Fen'Harel had hoped his ready acceptance of her past and people would earn her favour.

"Courting her will be harder than I thought".

He was startled when Ellana returned to him. She was pleasantly flustered as she stormed back the way she'd come. She stopped before him, cheeks pink, and leaned inwards to kiss him on the cheek. He stared at her, incredulous, when she complimented his state of dress. Her appreciation was gruff, but welcome enough to make him grin.

"You look good in Dalish armour".

"Are you still angry with me?" asked Fen'Harel.

" _Yes_!" snapped Ellana. "I do not sound like a yowling cat!"

"You do when you speak elvish".

" _Oh_! _Oh_! _Oooooh_! Fine! You're not sharing my bed again either!"

"Vhenan!"

Ellana whirled on the balls of her feet. She grabbed his hand and proceeded to drag him towards the fortress. She could hear the yelling from outside. The argument had grown more heated though she only heard two voices. Ellana's face hardened when they reached the stairs once more.

They paused before ascending.

"It's you and Solas", said Ellana. "I can hear the anger in your voices".

"It is, vhenan", confirmed Fen'Harel. "The site where your fortress stands inside the waking world is where it all started. There Solas betrayed me and cast the spell to create the Veil. His own abilities as a somniari were not enough. He needed power to fuel the casting and a sacrifice to bind me to do his bidding".

Ellana's grip on his hand tightened.

"Show me how it began".

Fen'Harel sighed, but did as she asked. He took the first step willingly and then the second. Ellana climbed after, following his lead. This was his memory. Only the Dread Wolf could guide her steps here.

"Garas ma, vhenan. It is time you knew the truth".

* * *

**Elvish, Tevene, Qunlat Translations: Courtesy of the Dragon Age Wiki**

* * *

Solas – _Pride._

Fen'Harel – _The Dread Wolf – The elven god of Rebellion, Betrayal, and Trickery._

Vhenan – _Heart._

Fenedhis lasa – _An elven curse, likely translated into 'grant or give me wolf crap' or similar._

Elvhen – _Our people. A term used by the ancient and modern elves in reference to their race, culture, and society._

Ir abelas – _I am sorry._

Tarasly'an Tel'as – _The place where the sky was held back – The elven name for Skyhold._

Garas ma – _Come with me._


	23. To Rectify Past Mistakes

Ellana followed Fen'Harel up the stairs. It was a strange thing to feel as if she were climbing a mountain. The Dalish had always prided themselves on their knowledge of the ancient elven world. Ellana knew (thanks to Solas) that much of what she'd been raised to believe was a lie. She was troubled by that thought when she and Fen'Harel reached the landing.

The flagstones underfoot were just as firm here as they were in the waking world. Ellana took a fortifying breath when Skyhold's gigantic doors swung inwards. The great hall was exposed to daylight. Ellana gasped when she didn't see more flagstones or a dais upon raised stairs. Inside the fortress was a grassy meadow covered in tents of varying sizes.

Ellana walked with Fen'Harel in amazement. She glanced back the way they'd come. She spied the fortress doors, still open, revealing the courtyard outside. Ellana was perturbed by the seamless transition from her own memories to Fen'Harel's. Skyhold's stony walls and floors reflected her own experiences inside the fortress.

This green field with its myriad tents came solely from Fen'Harel's mind.

He had walked Elvhenan with Solas.

His knowledge of the past far outstripped her own.

"So this is how you remember Skyhold", deduced Ellana. "It makes sense considering the time".

"It is", said Fen'Harel. "We were more or less a rabble band of survivors. Some were criminals, others soldiers, most were slaves Solas liberated from the Evanuris. By removing their vallaslin he broke their shackles of enforced obedience. They were physically free, but still bore the scars of their slavery".

Ellana frowned as he led her through the maze of tents.

"What do you mean?"

"Look around, vhenan".

Fen'Harel gestured to the various elves they passed. Some wore armour, suggesting they were soldiers whilst others wore simpler garb. Ellana saw doublets, skirts, jerkins, and dresses with layers of silk, velvet, and cotton. All were clean and well-worn if patchy and threadbare. Ellana noticed the wearers of that clothing were fair, elven, and all so tired.

Faces were long and drawn with fatigue. Ellana saw raised red welts and pink puckered scars on many brows, cheeks, and chins. Most of which she doubted were from battle. Some adults had nicks in their ears whilst others were missing one or both. Ellana also saw children, not more than ten or twelve, with slashed cheeks and mutilated ears.

"Maker's breath!" she cried. "Look at them! Who would do such a thing to a child?"

Ellana frowned when Fen'Harel paused. She slowed to a stop beside him. She noticed how he watched the children laugh as they played in the dust. He sighed and glanced at her. The look in his eyes was old and sad and resigned.

"Solas did not lie. The Evanuris were cruel to those that disobeyed them. What you see here is but a small part of the horrors they inflicted on their slaves. Solas and I helped these few escape their masters, but we left many more behind. Most were unwilling to acknowledge that the Evanuris were mere mortals and not gods at all".

Ellana swallowed her surprise. She had never thought Solas would have been inclined towards cruelty. She reflected on what he had told her the previous day. Elvhenan had fallen, its fate sealed, when he had created the Veil. She had seen the Vir Dirthara's crumbling bookshelves, ghostly guardians, and radiant tree-like lamps.

"Solas left them to die".

Fen'Harel squeezed her hand. Two elven children rolled in the dirt wrestling. Their laughter seemed to cut him like a blade. Fen'Harel tensed, twitched, and bared his fangs. He took a deep ragged breath and tried to stem the rising tide of his anger. His red eyes glowed like two burning embers.

"He considered their deaths adequate punishment for their cowardice".

Ellana patted his hand. The longer she lingered here, the more she was learning about her wayward lover. Solas had always been a private person during his time with the Inquisition. Ellana was starting to understand why. The shadow of ancient Elvhenan was darker than she could ever have known or believed until now.

Solas it seemed had wanted to shield her from the worst of his past misdeeds.

"Do you think what he did was right?"

Fen'Harel turned on her with a snarl. Ellana was startled by his fury. Red eyes smouldered beneath furrowed black brows. The bridge of his nose wrinkled as his lips peeled back from his teeth. White fangs flashed in the sunlight, sharp and inhuman, as he barked in outrage.

" _I am not_ _Solas_!"

"Fen'Harel!"

" _Do not compare me to him_!"

"I didn't!"

" _I value life_! _I do not sacrifice it on a whim_!"

"I know that! You saved me!"

Ellana was relieved when he relented. His eyes glinted and his teeth gnashed in irritation. He scrutinised her expression, searching for the subtlest hint of deception. He detested being lied too. Ellana returned his gaze with sincere contrition.

"Ir abelas", she apologised. "I didn't mean to offend you".

Fen'Harel snorted. He didn't comment on her poor apology. He did remark on something else. His words were terse and tinged with annoyance. It was a small and welcome conciliation.

"Your pronunciation is still terrible".

"You're angry with me", said Ellana.

"Yes", affirmed Fen'Harel. "I am".

"I apologised".

"Did your Mamae ever warn you not to poke a hornet's nest?"

Ellana blushed. "She did".

Fen'Harel chuckled. "And you never listened".

Ellana was embarrassed by his assumption. He was right, she knew, though she would never admit it. Her mother had been sweet-tempered and cautious by nature. Her father had been the opposite. Bold, brash, and ever willing to get himself into trouble.

Ellana grimaced.

Her mother had yelled, often and loudly, that she was just like her father.

"I wouldn't be here with you now", retorted Ellana. "If I was easily put off by such things".

She looked away for a moment and spied something out of the corner of her eye. Her head turned as she watched someone walking between the tents. She stared when that person turned on their heels and headed towards them. Ellana could still hear the shouting from across the meadow. Their baritone voices were high and sharp like two duelling blades.

"Maker's balls!" cried Ellana. " _It can_ ' _t be_!"

She was shaking when the person she watched came closer. Ellana stumbled backward into Fen'Harel. A broad chest and strong arms caught her round the waist. He held her fast as a woman with pale flowing golden-white hair stopped before them. Ellana stared when that woman knelt in the dust and opened her arms to a small blonde girl-child.

"Ma da'vhenan", she called. "Garas ma".

"To see Papae?" asked the little girl.

"Yes", replied her mother. "He's arguing with your uncle again".

"Oh".

Her mother sighed and Ellana wailed.

"She looks like me! Fenedhis lasa! _Why does she look like me_?"

The woman kissed her daughter's brow. "Arille. I want you to be on your best behaviour. Your Papae has been very busy. I have missed him as much as you have, but we must give him the space he needs".

"Yes, Mamae. I'll be good".

Ellana gaped when her double smiled.

"Ma serannas".

It was like looking into a mirror.

Large almond eyes, a straight nose, high cheekbones, and a rosebud mouth. Her face was angular if softened around the edges where a man's was hard and square. Her hair, paler than Ellana's own, was the colour of hand-spun silver. She was eerily beautiful in the way of the Elvhen with delicate elfin features and large pointed ears.

"Why does she look like me?" demanded Ellana.

Fen'Harel pressed his cheek to hers. He kissed the lobe of her pointed elven ear. His reply was short and simple. He gazed at the woman he had once loved and lost. She had been everything to him then just as she was now.

"I have always known you", he told her. "And I have always loved you".

" _Who is she_?"

Fen'Harel nuzzled her cheek. "She was the woman with whom I shared my heart and bed. She was the mother of the orphan we chose to adopt. She was and will always be the love of my life. She would have become my wife if Solas had not betrayed us both".

" _Your what_?"

"My wife", reiterated Fen'Harel.

" _But you're a spirit_!"

"I chose to be real for her".

Ellana took a shaky breath. Her heart beat wildly inside her chest. She was astounded by Fen'Harel's revelation. She couldn't quite believe that he was akin to Cole. Her odd spirit come friend lacked Fen'Harel's social skills and cheekiness.

"You're nothing like Cole".

Fen'Harel smiled. "That is true".

Ellana watched her double lift little Arille into her arms.

"What was her name?"

"Solas and I knew her as Melana for her time with us was short", revealed Fen'Harel. "Arille knew her only as Mamae. Our followers called her Fen'Asha in honour of her relationship with me. Her brother named her Sulevin for her willingness to do what he could not. She gave up her true name when she followed him into the service of one of the Evanuris".

"Who did she serve?"

Fen'Harel sighed. "You know, vhenan".

Ellana had only met one member of the Evanuris. She remembered a wizened human face crowned with snowy hair and horns wrapped in red ribbon. Eyes as yellow as the sun had glinted under slender black brows. She had been old and all too human, but still eerily beautiful. Her voice too had been cold and gravelly like pebbles rolling underwater.

"Asha'bellanar", declared Ellana.

"She was Mythal to the Elvhen", corrected Fen'Harel.

"To the Dalish she is Asha'bellanar and to the shemlen she is Flemeth".

"And you met the leader of her guard. He is Melana's elder brother".

Ellana studied the woman wearing her face. Her silver hair and golden eyes were reminiscent of one person. Only one member of Mythal's guard resembled her in face and form. His eyes were just as golden and his hair was just as silver. Ellana remembered an elven face gazing out from under the shadow of a gilded cowl.

"Abelas".

"Yes, vhenan", said Fen'Harel. "Did you ever wonder why he and his comrades did not kill you?"

" _I am not this Melana of yours_!" Ellana snarled. " _And_ _h_ _e_ _is_ _not my brother_!"

"You are the woman I have always loved. Your denial will not change what I know to be true. You are my vhenan, my Melana, the love of my life renewed. You may refuse to acknowledge a kinship with Abelas, but I doubt you will be able to avoid him. He knows you are alive, vhenan, and so he will try sooner or later to find you again".

" _He is no_ _t part of my family_!"

Fen'Harel sighed.

"The Elvhen believed an elven soul would return to life to resolve past mistakes. It would take time as all things do, but they would always be reborn. Melana failed as I did to stop Solas from creating the Veil. This time around, vhenan. I believe you are here to rectify that mistake".

Ellana trembled like a leaf. She recalled the vallaslin she had worn in her youth. She had revered Mythal and gladly accepted the privilege of wearing her vallaslin. The twining emerald branches had been tattooed onto her brow, temples, cheeks, and chin. Ellana had worn it proudly for many years until she'd met an odd little hedgemage named Solas.

"I did once wear the Dahl'amythal", admitted Ellana.

"As did Melana", affirmed Fen'Harel. "And now you wear my vallaslin".

"Did she die?"

"Yes".

"Did Solas kill her?"

"You will see, vhenan", promised Fen'Harel. "Come. Let us follow Melana through the camp. She will lead us to where we need to go. Solas awaits us in a tent not far from here".

* * *

  **Elvish, Tevene, Qunlat Translations: Courtesy of the Dragon Age Wiki**

* * *

Solas – _Pride._

Fen'Harel – _The Dread Wolf – The elven god of Rebellion, Betrayal, and Trickery._

Vhenan – _Heart._

Fenedhis lasa – _An elven curse, likely translated into 'grant or give me wolf crap' or similar._

Elvhen – _Our people. A term used by the ancient and modern elves in reference to their race, culture, and society._

Ir abelas – _I am sorry._

Ma da'vhenan – _My little heart._

Garas ma – _Come with me._

Papae – _Father._

Mamae – _Mother._

Ma serannas – _My thanks._

Melana – _Time._

Sulevin – _Purpose._

Abelas – _Sorrow._

Dahl'amythal – _The Tree of Mythal - Refers to the tree depicted in the vallaslin Mythal._


	24. Distractions

Ellana was quiet as Fen'Harel led her through the camp. She was perturbed by his latest revelation. It was discomforting to think she might have known him in a previous life. She began to wonder if dying and meeting the spirit of Marethari had been more than mere coincidence. She had expected to see the Keeper of Clan Lavellan, not Mahariel's deceased mentor.

It was all a little too convenient. Ellana didn't like the idea that her life might be predetermined. It had been hard being the Inquisitor and the Herald of Andraste. Ellana's heart sank when she mused on all she had accomplished. She hoped none of it was due to a stroke of divine favour.

Ellana was lost in her own thoughts when Fen'Harel sighed. She felt the fearful tremble in his dusky fingers. His hand tightened on her own as if he was afraid of losing her. The knot of anxiety in Ellana's chest loosened. She was still unsure of herself, but this time she wasn't alone.

Another stood in her estranged lover's place.

"Ma serannas", murmured Ellana.

"For what?" asked Fen'Harel.

"For not lying to me, even if I don't believe you".

"I suppose it is a good start. You have not run away screaming".

Ellana smiled. "Yet". She slowed to a stop to test him. She refused to take another step when he tugged on her hand. "I can run away now if you want me too".

"No".

"No?"

Ellana tried to pull away.

Fen'Harel rolled his eyes. Melana had never been this stubborn. His past love had always been biddable, even cooperative. Ellana was her opposite. She strained and gnawed at her tethers like a wolf caught in a snare. Fen'Harel was certain she'd chew his arm off if she wanted to escape.

"Perhaps I should run away from you", he teased.

"Go on then", challenged Ellana. "But don't expect me to chase you".

She rolled her eyes when Fen'Harel dropped her hand. A husky chuckle and he was off. He ran away from her, brown legs a blur, black hair flying like a banner in the wind. Ellana heard the ring of his laughter as he darted between two tents. He disappeared from view.

Ellana giggled. "I'll admit. He has a nice arse".

She followed him at her own pace. She refused to act like a child chasing a puppy. She walked instead, taking care to observe the ground, tents, and people she passed by. None could see or speak to her for they were part of Fen'Harel's memory. It was disconcerting to realise just how much he remembered.

She followed Fen'Harel's route between the two tents. The gap was wide enough to walk through with her arms outstretched. Ellana brushed her fingers across the wall of one tent. It was made from an odd fabric. It was heavy, ruddy-brown, and looked like a cross between leather and cloth.

"It has to be spider-silk", she told herself. "Nothing man or elf-made is so soft, strong, or fine".

She was surprised at being able to feel the lumps and bumps of the threads so deftly interwoven.

The fabric had a fine pearlescent sheen, like a spider web shining in the sun. Ellana watched her feet, eyes wide when she saw how the tents were staked down. The pegs weren't fashioned from wood, but something long and white like snow.

A tentative touch revealed bone, harder than steel, and stronger than diamond.

Only one material in all of Thedas had that odd red grain.

"Dragon bone", said Ellana. "Maker's breath. They were fools".

She was appalled by the discovery. She knew from experience that dragons, drakes, and their dragonling offspring were dangerous foes. A flash of fire, lightning, and frost could kill in an instant. The strike of a claw, the snap of jagged teeth, and the lash of a powerful tail could do worse. A rampaging dragon, fanning its wings, could easily trample anyone under its clawed feet.

"I suppose I was a fool too", she mused. "For daring to slay ten beasts the size of a mountain".

"I believe you slew eleven High Dragons", called Fen'Harel.

Ellana shrugged. "I don't count Hakkon Wintersbreath".

He was waiting for her on the other side of the tents. His bronze arms were folded across his chest. An impatient tap of his foot made Ellana smile. He snickered when she continued to dawdle. He held out his hand for her to take when she finally stepped out into the open.

He was pleased when her fingers touched his own.

She was starting to trust him.

"Such manners", teased Ellana. "Are you trying to impress me?"

"I am".

"It's working. I'm sorry I kept you waiting".

Fen'Harel dismissed her apology with a shake of his head. "Your tardiness was not unexpected. You did not know Elvhenan as I did. It is natural for you to be curious, vhenan. I suspected you would take the time to peruse my memories as if you were reading a book. Page by page, thus far, you must have found some _intriguing_ things".

Ellana blushed when his black brows waggled suggestively.

" _It wasn_ ' _t_ _like that_!"

Fen'Harel patted her hand. "It is quite all right, vhenan. I forgive you for groping my memories".

" _You're horrible_!"

"And you are being tardy", he retorted. "We came here for a reason".

Ellana snorted when he tugged on her hand. He took a step forward. She remained rooted in place like a tree. Fen'Harel growled when he stumbled. He was annoyed by her obstinance.

"Vhenan!"

He glanced over his shoulder. His eyes rolled when he saw her smirking. She was amused by his clumsiness. He watched with exasperation when she finally decided to join him. A graceful step and she was beside him again.

"Don't pout", she teased. "I'm ready to go with you now".

Fen'Harel's lip curled. "Are you quite sure?"

Ellana took a daring step away from him.

"I could always go without you".

She was startled by his vehement snarl.

" _Nae_!"

Ellana's joke turned sour. Fen'Harel's red eyes narrowed to angry slits. His black brows furrowed. He glowered at her as he took several hasty breaths. She realised that he was trying to regain his composure as he exhaled slowly.

She babbled an apology.

"Ir abelas!"

Fen'Harel's grip tightened upon her hand. His lips peeled back from his teeth. He bared his fangs despite himself, his anger plain for her to see. Ellana felt his fingers tremble as he chastised her.

Her teasing had frightened him.

" _You are never to go anywhere without me_!"

"It was a jest!"

"I do not see the humour in it!"

Ellana's face softened. "You _are_ afraid of losing me".

" _Of course I am_!" snapped Fen'Harel. " _I_ _grieved for you for five thousand years_! _Now here you are again_! _I will not lose you twice_!"

The tension between them was charged with emotion. Ellana was the first to look away. The intensity of his gaze made her uncomfortable. He was different from his brother. Solas's prime concern had always been the Veil and the means to tear it down.

Fen'Harel, his twin and shadow, was more concerned about her.

Ellana took a deep fortifying breath. She steeled her nerves and lifted her chin. She had faced worse things than a spirit in the shape of an elf. She met Fen'Harel's worried red eyes. She acknowledged his feelings with a simple nod.

"I'm glad someone cares about me".

Fen'Harel's smile was tender. "Vhenan".

Ellana gave his fingers a gentle squeeze. "We've lost Melana".

His husky chuckle made her feel less guilty for her tardiness.

"I know the way".

"Lead me?"

Fen'Harel's answer took her breath away.

" _Always_ ".

* * *

Ellana followed him again though she often wanted to stop and study the details of his memories. The elves of the rebellion had known hardship as she had. Their possessions were few, but what little they had fascinated Ellana. She saw women and children wearing simple pendants, rings, torques, and bracelets. She spied men armed with swords, shields, spears, bows, and daggers.

Ellana was astonished by the materials they'd used. She recognised the spiralling segments of halla horn and the blue-greyness of ironbark. The shapes the horn and wood had been fashioned into were familiar too. Ellana was eerily reminded of her own people. Only the Dalish had used these materials in their tools, armour, weapons, and jewellery.

Fen'Harel smiled through the silence. He was pleased that Ellana had seen the first stirrings of what would become the Dalish. He regretted their seclusion from the rest of the Elvhen, but he was glad they'd survived. The people of the Dales had sheltered the soul of his beloved. He would always be grateful to them.

"My vhenan is quiet".

Ellana was perturbed by yet another revelation. Fen'Harel seemed amused by her silence. The smile on his face would've been infuriating under normal circumstances. Now, she was neither angry nor afraid, but she _was_ feeling a little overwhelmed. She had barely taken two breaths in the time between attending the Exalted Council and learning about Melana.

Now she had something new to mull over. The birth of the Dalish had began during the Rebellion of the Elvhen against the Evanuris. Ellana had always thought her people had come long after the fall of Arlathan. To think they had first emerged during the golden age of the Elvhen was more than humbling. It made her want to cry.

"Fenedhis", she cursed as she blinked and sniffed to stem the tide of tears. "Do you delight in drowning me?"

Fen'Harel laughed. "In history?"

" _Yes_!"

He smiled. "Have you not always thirsted for the truth?"

Ellana bit her lip. He was right, she knew. She had always wondered how much of her people's written and oral history was true. Fen'Harel was offering her more than just himself. He was willing to share what he knew with her.

Solas hadn't been so forthcoming.

"I thought my people's history only went back a few centuries", replied Ellana. "I never believed in half of what our Keeper told my clan. It was easier to focus on the present. If I could keep the clan safe and fed than I didn't have time to grieve for the loss of Arlathan. A full stomach was better than a broken heart".

Fen'Harel's smile dimmed. It hurt to hear of her life in such brevity. He imagined all manner of hardships. Famine, strife, and that lost and lonely feeling of utter helplessness. He was glad she'd come through it all despite the death of her clan.

One member of Clan Lavellan yet survived.

"Ir abelas, vhenan", said Fen'Harel. "All that you have endured was my doing".

He yelped when Ellana punched him in the arm.

" _Venavis_!"

She scowled. "Stop feeling sorry for me!"

Fen'Harel frowned. "I did not mean to offend you".

" _Well you did_!"

"Ir abelas".

Ellana glared at him. "You're doing it again! _Stop apologising_!"

Fen'Harel snorted. "What would you have me do?"

"I would have you acknowledge that I am not a helpless child! I have fought and slain dragons! I have defeated Corypheus! I have been inside the Fade and returned to the waking world whole of mind and body! I am Dalish and a direct descendant of the elves that were part of your rebellion!"

Ellana lifted her chin and looked down her nose at him.

"My ancestors had more fortitude and determination than you do! They lived mortal lives and so have I! It's been hard at times, certainly, but I'm still here! Don't think I'm less than you are because I'm Dalish and not Elvhen! You and Solas slept for five thousand years, while the rest of the elves lived their lives, just like my clan!"

An apology was on his lips.

Fen'Harel had to bite his tongue to stop himself from saying it.

Ellana looked him in the eye.

"Respect me for who I am and what I've done", she told him. "Don't feel sorry for me for what you think I've missed. I am Dalish not Elvhen. I am proud of my heritage. I will not think less of myself or my people because you and Solas think I should".

Fen'Harel chuckled.

Ellana rolled her eyes.

"I want to apologise".

"Don't. I know who I am, Fen'Harel. Do you?"

He kissed her cheek.

She blushed.

"I would like to learn. If you will have patience with me".

Ellana was relieved. "Ma serannas. It's more than Solas was willing to give me".

She pressed a finger to Fen'Harel's lips to silence him.

“I know my elvish is terrible. You’ll just have to endure it”.

He grinned from ear to ear, red eyes twinkling, and chose not to comment.

"Come on then", urged Ellana. "We have to find Melana".

Fen'Harel nodded. He squeezed her hand and took the lead again. He led her through another maze of tents and across a trampled field of dead grass. The earth had been churned to mud by the restless marching of many feet. Ellana saw elves sparring with sword, spear, bow, and shield in a churning sea of chaos.

"The training fields", explained Fen'Harel. "Were always full of new recruits. We tried our best to teach them what we could. Most as you can see", he said whilst gesturing to several young elves in ill-fitting armour. "Were not soldiers".

"They have the look of farmers, farriers, and stable boys", said Ellana. "A few swing a sword like a hammer".

"Most were servants, though we had many a fisherman, cobbler, milliner, and seamstress too".

"Maker's balls. They would've been slaughtered in a real battle".

Fen'Harel sighed. "Indeed. On that, vhenan. I agree. Come. I am tired of dawdling".

Ellana curbed her curiosity. It seemed her guide preferred silence to conversation. He led her across the training field and up a small trampled path leading into the heart of the encampment. Ellana was reminded of Haven when Fen'Harel stopped before a large brown tent. The sides of the canvas were painted in a familiar style.

She stared at the vivid strokes in yellow, black,white, and red. The minimal colours gave life to a history recorded in art. Ellana saw a dragon bleeding a red river as it lay at the feet of an army of shadows. A man, talk and dark, stood over the dragon, axe in hand. Ellana recognised the pattern of thorny vines twining around his head like a crown.

"Elgar'nan. And the fallen dragon is Mythal. The shadows around her must be the Evanuris".

Fen'Harel snorted. "My brother always did have an eye for art. Come, vhenan".

Ellana quietened as he ushered her past several guards in front of the tent. It was strange that no one saw or stopped them. The oddity made her skin prickle. Though it was a memory, it seemed all too real. Ellana stayed close to Fen'Harel.

She was grateful when his arm slid around her shoulder.

He didn't need to ask.

He knew she was discomforted by what she saw.

"Easy, vhenan", he soothed. "I am here".

Ellana trembled when she heard a raised voice. The fury in it was unmistakable. She knew who spoke as they slipped inside the tent. A flash of silver-white hair and the crack of an open palm on skin, caught her by surprise. Ellana gasped when she saw Melana stumble.

Tiny Arille leapt to her mother's defence.

" _Don't you hit my_ , _Mamae_!"

Ellana knew those haunted grey eyes anywhere.

Solas stood over Melana with a raised fist.

"You did this!" he accused. "You turned him away from me! _Harellan_! I should never have allowed you to join us! _You poisoned_ _m_ _y brother against his purpose_!"

Melana wiped the bloody spittle from her mouth.

"He is not a hound to be leashed and turned loose on your enemies".

Ellana was horrified when Solas gnashed his teeth like a wolf.

" _His purpose is my purpose_! _Na nadas nan_!"

* * *

 **Elvish,** **Tevene, Qunlat** **Translations: Courtesy of the Dragon Age Wiki**

* * *

Solas – _Pride._

Fen'Harel – _The Dread Wolf – The elven god of Rebellion, Betrayal, and Trickery._

Vhenan _–_ _ _Heart.__

Ir abelas __– I am sorry.__

Ma serannas __– My thanks.__

Nae _– No._

Elgar'nan _–_ _ _The All-Father, The Eldest of the Sun – The male counterpart to Mythal, the elven god of the Sun, Vengeance, and Fire.__

Mythal _–_ _ _The All-Mother, The Protector – The female counterpart to Elgar'nan, the elven god of__

The Evanuris _–_ _ _The order of Mage-Kings that ruled ancient Elvhenan, and were believed to be Gods by the Elvhen.__

Elvhen _–_ _ _Our People__ _– The elves of ancient Elvhenan and Arlathan._

_Motherhood, and Justice._

Mamae _–_ _ _Mother.__

Harellan _ _– Trickster, Traitor to one's kin.__

Na nadas nan _–_ _It is vengeance._


	25. Rituals and Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glossary needs to be ordered.

It was a strange thing to watch the man she’d loved stand over the woman wearing her face. Although the memory was several thousand years old. It was perturbing to see it unfold. Ellana had only once heard such rage in Solas’s voice. An excursion to the Exalted Plains had ended in bloodshed.

A spirit of wisdom had died there. And Ellana had seen Solas commit murder to exact justice. The apostates had never known whose path they’d crossed. It was a small blessing in light of what Fen'Harel had shared. Ellana compared what she’d witnessed in that glade to what she saw now.

The way Solas stood over Melana made her think back to that time in the Fade. He had seemed distant then, as if something had troubled him, though he’d never shared his burdens. She had worried for him after that impulsive kiss. Solas had reacted with surprise and then with a passion she’d not thought him capable of. That same passion burned as he stood over her double.

Melana’s composure was disconcerting to watch. She licked her bleeding lip and Ellana saw her grimace when she tasted her own blood. The way she frowned at Solas, as if she were seeing him for the first time, showed the depth of her distaste. The shake of her head revealed her disappointment. Ellana expected anger not a sigh of resignation.

“Why am I not surprised”, replied Melana. “You were born in the shadows of the Evanuris. One of them raised you up from nothing and put you on a pedestal to be worshipped. You became her prized bauble – a pet on a leash – an example by which she could inspire devotion. And in losing your patroness – the one person who believed in you – was to lose everything worth living for”.

Melana’s words took Solas by surprise. Ellana saw his grey eyes widen in shock and then in horror when she nodded. That simple gesture of understanding made his head shake back and forth as if in denial. Melana’s brows arched in sympathy as she took her fuming daughter in her arms. She held tight whilst Arille hissed and spat like an irate feline.

“Mythal saved me from a life of poverty too”. Melana kissed her daughter’s hair and looked Solas in the eye. “That one gesture of kindness earned my love. And I devoted my life to her in the only way I knew how. I swore an oath of service and I drank from the Vir’abelasan”.

Solas studied the vallaslin upon her face.

Only the servants of Mythal wore the twining trunk and branches of the Dahl’amythal. Melana, like her brother Abelas, had the same mark inked into her skin. Upon her brow, temples, and cheeks spread the leafless boughs of the Dahl’amythal. A line down the bridge of her nose to her lips represented the trunk. And the roots, twisting like a sprig of thyme, entangled upon her chin.

“You made yourself a slave to Mythal’s will?” asked Solas.

Ellana heard the incredulity in his voice. He couldn’t believe she had willingly enslaved herself out of love. Marriage was a similar bonding. Ellana had heard the wedded men of Haven joke about being yoked to a ball-and-chain for the rest of their lives. The chain being their marriage and the ball their wives.

The shemlen were a strange folk. Marriage was sacrosanct to the Dalish, something to be cherished. Yet try as she might to plan a future. Ellana had wedded neither Solas nor his brother in spirit – Fen'Harel. A sudden terrible sense of foreboding told her that Melana hadn’t had the pleasure either.

It was with a troubled heart that she watched Melana nod in affirmation of her pledge to Mythal.

“I did”.

“Why?” demanded Solas.

Melana’s humble smile made Solas’s breath catch in his throat. Humility was the opposite of pride. Melana was vulnerable as she reflected upon what they had in common. That single selfless emotion often bound one person to another without shackles or chains. Ellana knew it well.

“I loved her and I did what I felt was right”.

Ellana knew when Solas’s resolve wavered. His cheeks flushed and his brows furrowed. He seemed conflicted for a moment, as if uncertain, until resignation took hold. Ellana saw him shake his head as if to dispel his anxiety. His pride returned and with it a determination to do something drastic.

“Nae!” spat Solas. “You and I are not alike! You chose a life of servitude! And I became Mythal’s equal! She is dead and must be avenged!”

Melana shook her head. “Your pride will be your undoing”, she warned Solas. “And my love’s as well. Fen'Harel will pay the price for your selfishness. He will hate you all the days of his long and lonely life until we are reunited. I know you intend to make and end of me”.

“You do not belong here!” hissed Solas. “And you will never see my brother again!”

Melana’s smile was full of sadness. “That is not for you to decide. I will return to him, though the waiting will be long. Centuries will pass before I walk in the waking world again. And in that time, when the world is broken and ready to be renewed, I will come for you Solas”.

He laughed. “And what will you do?”

Melana exhaled a weary breath. “I will make an end of this farce. I promise you. And Thedas will weep as it breaks in two. And you will suffer a broken heart and all the pain it brings”.

Ellana gasped when the ground began to glow. She recognised the concentric circles of the Glyph of Paralysis. Melana was on her knees, with Arille in her arms, as Solas cast the spell. Both were frozen, still as stone, by a corona of light. Arille sniffled when Melana whispered.

“Forgive me, ma da’vhenan”.

“Mamae?”

“I will not see you again for a very long time”.

Arille’s composure crumbled and the tears rolled down her cheeks.

“Don’t leave me!”

“Hush, ma da’vhenan. Be good. Be strong. And always remember. Ar lath ma”.

Ellana’s heart was in her throat when Melana kissed Arille’s temple. Her smile was full of love as she laid a hand over her daughter’s eyes. She pressed her cheek against her blond curls and pursed her lips. The glyph immobilised her legs but left her arms free. Melana rocked the child, back and forth, as she hummed a lullaby.

Ellana frowned when Solas spoke. The words were elvish though the dialect was strange and unfamiliar. She didn’t understand the words of the spell he wove. She recognised the artefact he withdrew from inside his robe. It lay in the palm of his hand and was as round as a robin’s egg.

“The Orb of Destruction!” hissed Ellana. She glanced from Melana and Arille to Solas. “What is he doing?”

“You will see”, promised Fen'Harel. “The worst is yet to come”.

Ellana quietened. She watched Solas speak his incantation. The air shifted and the tent’s canvas walls flapped in an unnatural breeze. Ellana knew the instant the spell took hold. Melana’s head fell back against her shoulders.

Her voice went silent and her fingers slipped from Arille. Ellana heard the child scream when her mother’s eyes rolled backward. Melana toppled over – crumpling like a marionette – her strings cut. She hit the ground and the Glyph of Paralysis changed from a vibrant green to an angry fire-red. Arille squealed when she was shoved from the circle.

She fell over sobbing and Ellana’s hands flew to her mouth. She saw a mark on the child’s back though Melana had never touched her. Arille rolled away, face wet with tears, and Ellana saw the mark again. It was red, glistening, and seeping into the shirt across her back. Four fingers, a thumb, and the palm of a hand had pushed Arille aside.

Ellana spied Melana’s limp left hand upon the ground. Her fingers and palm were wet with blood though she hadn’t raised a hand to save her child. Yet somehow the imprint on Arille’s back remained. And the circle entrapping Melana sapped her life like a parasite. Ellana watched as blood flowed in rivulets from her twin’s eyes, nose, and mouth.

“Fenedhis lasa!” swore Ellana. “His spell is killing her!”

Fen'Harel nodded. “Solas meant to use Arille too. If not for my love’s intervention. He would have succeeded. And our da’vhenan would have died alongside her mother”.

“Melana saved her”.

“She did”.

And through it all Ellana heard the man she’d loved chant in elvish. The language was beautiful though the effect was macabre. Arille wept whilst her mother died. And each ring of that fire-red circle filled to the brim with Melana’s blood. Ellana realised what Solas was doing with sudden terrible clarity.

“I’ve seen this before”. She grabbed Fen'Harel’s wrists and squeezed hard enough to bruise. “First in the Western Approach and then at Adamant Fortress”. Ellana was horrified as she watched the ritual unfold. “It’s a binding circle made with blood magic. Solas is using Melana as a blood sacrifice”.

Fen'Harel’s grip on her tightened.

“He is. And now you know, with certainty, why I hate him”.

Ellana sucked in a breath when she heard Arille whimper. The wind whipped into a frenzy as Solas cast the foci into the air. It seemed to float, light as a feather, as he invoked the name of the spirit he wanted to imprison. Ellana’s breath hitched. She knew to whom he called.

“Garas ma, Fen'Harel!”

And behind her, the spirit given that name, trembled like a leaf.

Ellana's fingers entwined with his own when the candles extinguished. Light fled, plunging them into darkness. Ellana heard Arille sniffle. She smelt the metallic tang of fresh blood. And for a tense moment it was as if the world fell silent. Something compressed the space between her ears, stealing all sound, leaving her deaf.

Ellana couldn’t hear herself breathe, but she could sense something wasn’t right. And before her, in a rush of hot air, were a multitude of blood-red eyes. A shape coalesced in the darkness. Ellana felt the brush of fur against her cheek. She stiffened when those red eyes turned upon her.

A familiar voice filled her mind.

_Vhenan?_

He sounded more confused than afraid.

_Iras ma?_

Ellana pursed her lips to reply and found herself unable to utter a word. Her tongue was heavy inside her mouth – an organ now useless – a soundless piece of flesh. And still she heard Fen’Harel cry out in the darkness. The longer Melana was silent – the more desperate he became. Ellana bit her lip when the air grew icy cold.

_Vhenan! Ir enfanim! Iras ma!_

She was exhaling puffs of mist when – in a blinding flash – daylight returned. She squinted in her blindness, vision blurry. And cursed when her feet slid forward than back. The ground was slippery as if covered by a sheet of ice. Ellana would have fallen if not for the strong arms around her waist.

Fen'Harel held her steady until her sight cleared. She gaped when she saw what Solas had done. The ground was awash in gore. The walls of his tent were splattered with red. Tiny Arille, weeping into her mother’s chest, was soaked from head to toe.

And Ellana saw her twin’s pallid face. Her dead staring eyes – focused on nothing – lifeless yet open wide. Her long blond hair was matted with blood – all of it her own. Arille bawled and across the tent, with his robes smeared and filthy, stood Solas. Ellana hated him as he lifted the Orb of Destruction high.

It glowed red as if a furnace had been lit within. The whorls on its surface crackled with blue-white lightning. The spell took hold – sealing Fen'Harel inside – as Solas finished the incantation. The world rushed back-in, the silence lifting. Ellana stumbled when Arille wailed.

“Mamae! Garas ma!”

Ellana watched the child shake Melana’s lifeless corpse.

“Mamae! Garas ma!”

The child’s cries turned shrill. And for the first time in what felt like hours – Ellana heard the pounding of many feet. Light flooded the tent as the canvas-door was torn open. Voices bellowed in alarm at the sight of what Solas had done. Someone cursed – another retched – and others stared at their saviour with fear instead of wonder.

A soldier, garbed in steel-plate, barked a question.

“What have you done?”

Solas’s eyes narrowed. He didn’t like his tone. “I did what was necessary to further our cause!”

“You murdered Melana!”

Another emerged from the crowd. Her cheeks were scarred and her ears a ruin of torn flesh. Ellana thought of a dog baring its teeth when she glowered at Solas. The way she shook her head and grimaced revealed her disgust. The accusation she spat at his feet incited the rebels.

“He used blood magic! Do you see that orb? It’s a foci! And I’ll bet you a thousand bits of gold he’s sealed Fen'Harel inside! I know that wretched kind of magic because I once served the likes of Falon’Din!”

The crowd swelled, Solas scowled, and Arille sobbed.

“He killed my Mamae!”

“Monster!” roared the soldier. “You would steal a mother from her child?”

The scarred woman sneered. “He’s a thief and a liar! What is one life lost in a war no matter how innocent? Melana may have served Mythal, but she still forsook her vows to join us! And now she’s dead!”

“Murderer!” screamed another. “Betrayer!”

“Remember to whom you speak!” snarled Solas. “I freed you from slavery! I led you to your salvation! Without me you would still be in chains! I made you see through the lies told by the Evanuris!”

And with that the mob grew unruly. Swords and knives were unsheathed. Spells were uttered until fire and lightning burned and crackled in many hands. Ellana looked back and forth across the crowd and saw their faces were twisted with hate and fear. This was when Solas had lost control of the Rebellion.

In betraying Fen'Harel – his greatest friend and ally – he had betrayed them all.

“You’re not a god!” snapped the scarred woman. “And we’re not your slaves! And you may have led us, but it was Fen'Harel who showed you the way! And it was not for you that we went into exile! It was for that woman lying in a pool of her own blood that we left everything we knew behind forever!”

The soldier nodded. “Melana broke her vows to Mythal to join our cause! She became our healer and listened to our counsel! She alone tried to bridge the gap between us, you, and Fen'Harel! Without her there wouldn’t be a Rebellion!”

“And now she’s dead”, finished the scarred woman. “And all because of you!”

The crowd turned ugly and one curse was on many lips.

“Harellan! Harellan! Harellan!”

Ellana panicked when the mob rushed in. Steel flashed in the sun. Spells were flung left and right. And in the confusion the scarred woman plucked Arille from the ground. She turned her back on the chaos inside that tent and walked out into the light.

Arille’s pale grief-stricken face was the last thing Ellana saw as the memory faded to darkness.

“Fen’Harel”, she pleaded, throat tight. “Take me away from here”.

A doorway materialised behind them. It opened with a click, the latch unlocking, and swung wide. Fen'Harel pressed his nose into Ellana’s cheek. He fell backward into the waking world and together they returned to consciousness. Ellana awoke with a cry.

“Maker’s breath! He killed her! How could he do such a thing?”

Her eyes were moist. She recalled everything Fen'Harel had shown her down to the minutest detail. The encampment with its muddy fields. The men and women of the rebellion training with sword, shield, and spear. The disorderly rows of tents and the dragon-bone pegs staking them down.

Her breath caught in her throat. Ellana thought of Melana, Arille, and Solas. She recalled the gore washing across her boots. She had seen Melana’s blood painting the walls of Solas’s tent. And the foci – the Orb of Destruction – had lain in the palm of his hand.

Ellana turned at the first touch upon her shoulder. Her ears were keen to the sound of his voice. That sweet endearment, once spoken by Solas, cleaved her heart in two. She stilled when she saw his dusky skin, sweet concerned face, and soft blood-red eyes. His brows were furrowed in distress as he regarded her.

“Ir abelas, vhenan. I did not mean to upset you”.

Ellana’s lower-lip wobbled. She reached for him with trembling fingers.

Fen'Harel frowned. “Vhenan?” He was confused when she cupped his face with her hands. “Are you all right?” Fen'Harel gasped when she took him by surprise.

The kiss was impulsive, full of anguish, and fear-fuelled desperation.

Dalish smiled. “I think she’s happy to see you, Hahren”.

Ellana froze at the sound of her voice. She broke her lip-lock with Fen'Harel. She left him reeling and turned on her fellow elf with a curse. Dalish recoiled when she spied Ellana’s face. Her cheeks were wet and her eyes were red-rimmed from weeping.

“Oh shit”.

“Fenedhis lasa! Arille!” yelled Ellana. “Ir abelas! I didn’t know! I swear!”

Fen'Harel snickered when his beloved bowled over their adopted daughter.  Dalish fell backward onto the bed, long legs tangling with the sheets and blankets. She squawked when her cheeks were peppered with kisses. She blushed when Ellana threw her arms around her shoulders. The hug that followed was so full of love and fear that she awkwardly patted Ellana’s back.

A full five minutes passed before Dalish dared to speak.

“Er – Could you let go of me now?”

Ellana snuggled into her side. “Nae! I’m tired, upset, confused and angry! You are going to stay right there until I calm down! And you are not leaving this room until we have a right and proper talk about everything!”

The bed dipped low as Fen'Harel took a seat.

“She needs comforting after what she saw, Arille”.

He pressed himself against Ellana’s back and nuzzled into the nape of her neck.

“We are here, vhenan. All is well. I promise you”.

Ellana sniffled. “Liar. All is not well after what I just saw”.

“I know”, acknowledged Fen'Harel. “And I understand”. He lifted the blankets and tucked them all in as best he could. Ellana refused to release Dalish despite his gentle cajoling. She laid her head upon Dalish’s shoulder and closed her eyes.

“You’re not going anywhere, Arille”.

Dalish rolled her eyes. “Yes, Mamae”.

Fen'Harel smiled and laid down beside them.

“Till the morning then”.

Ellana nodded. “Till the morning. Now let us sleep and Maker willing. Our dreams had best be untroubled. I’m sick and tired of having nightmares”.

* * *

  **Elvish, Tevene, Qunlat Translations: Courtesy of the Dragon Age Wiki**

* * *

Solas – _Pride._

Fen'Harel – _The Dread Wolf – The elven god of Rebellion, Betrayal, and Trickery._

Vhenan _– Heart._

Ma da’vhenan _– My little heart – A term of endearment used by an adult to describe their child._

Ir abelas _– I am sorry._

Mamae _– Mother._

Ar lath ma _– I love you._

Nae _– No._

Hahren _– Elder – used by the Dalish for a respected elder – used by the city elves for the leader of an Alienage._

Garas ma _– Come to me or Come back to me._

Iras ma? _\- Where are you?_

Ir enfanim _– I am afraid._

Harellan _– Trickster – Used by the Dalish to mean – Traitor to one’s kin._


End file.
